This Means WAR!!!

I saw a repost on Facebook yesterday that said, "You know what I got for Christmas? FAT, that's what I got, I got FAT!" It was adorably placed over an extremely overweight cat sitting there like a blob after it probably just cleaned it's own hind end. Well, kids, here is me, the fat cat that got even more fat for Christmas. It wasn't just Christmas, it was Thanksgiving, the couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, and the month before that... I didn't just get fat last week, much as I would like to think that is true. Don't get me wrong, I have had some fun the past few months. It is fun to drink with my buddies. It's fun to cook naughty food for friends/family. You know what's not fun, the anxiety I feel every time I go to get dressed, praying that my pants will still fit. It's not fun to get hit on by the over 40, overweight, DJ at the local watering hole because I'm still just fat enough to attract that guy. It isn't fun to realize that you are back to being the fat friend at the Christmas parties. It's not fun to daily break promises I make to myself. So, today I waged war. It has been about 2 years since I initially took a stand against my fat, my fat lifestyle, and my fat mindset. That is approximately the exact timeline of when I fell off my fat wagon the last time I lost 100+ pounds. Does history repeat itself?? You bet your sweet patooty it does! But not here, not this time. I can't tell you exactly how much I have gained back because it has been so long since I stepped on my scale I didn't know that the battery was dead. So, when I went to get a starting weight this morning I was surprised/relieved that my scale didn't work. I can, however, tell you that my size 12 pants are tight. Like I should probably consider myself a 14. I am maxing out that little bit of spandex they put in jeans these days. I can tell you that I feel my belly jiggle when I drive down a bumpy road. I can tell you that I notice my spare tire when I sit down. I can tell you that my arm jiggle is rearing it's ugly head when I lift my arms while doing my make-up. I can tell you my face is a little rounder. I can tell you that I feel fat. End of story. Time to actually get serious, not just talk about getting serious. The good news is, I am waging war before I actually have to buy size 14 pants. I am waging war before I have 100+ pounds to lose. I am waging war before New Year's (why wait??). I am waging war before it is T-shirt/tank top season. I am juicing again. I am going to go one month and see how I feel. I'll decide then if I want to do the second month or not. I may switch to eating clean then, or I may forge ahead for four more weeks, stay tuned. As I write this in the afternoon of day one, I can say this. I already feel a little better. I had a slight headache this morning, but that could be a hangover from the grand food send off I so lovingly gave myself last night. I expect my face to break out this week. I expect my skin to look great the week after that. I expect about week three I will get a cold. I expect to lose some inches. I'm adjusting to the juicing for the weekend and I am restarting T-25 on Monday morning. I'm taking my horse to a place where I can ride her tomorrow. I am setting these routines before my classes start again. School/work/photography/holidays have been my priorities the past few months. I got some great things done in those areas. I aced my class, I have some happy photography clients, I'm still gainfully employed. For this next month, those things are gonna get set down a notch on my priority list, one notch behind MY HEALTH. If I'm not healthy, nothing else matters. My war decree. I have been so wrapped up in "being busy" that I have not only let my ass slide, but I have been just existing in my home as well. I waged war on the house today. I started in the kitchen, overhauled the fridge, made a weeks worth of juice, mopped, had laundry going all the while. Living room next. Mail/catalogs/random papers got trashed, blinds got washed, couch got vacuumed, floor got mopped. That's right, I went to battle and won. Not tooting my horn, more like, a shameful admission of how I let stuff go. I'm calling it quits for today, tomorrow is my room and the room of indecision. Look out, I'm on the war path and I'm not quitting until the house and my ass look a lot more presentable. December 28, Day 1 of the Final Fifty World War II.

Shame on me, I let myself forget.

So, today, long over due mind you, I got back to working out. First off, I let myself go a little which was readily evident by my bouncing midsection and tousling thighs. Second, I was out of air in short work, and I mean OUT. OF. AIR. Lastly, when it was all over, I felt A-MAZING. I let myself forget how good it feels to workout. I have been psyching myself out about how much work it was gonna be again to get back on the exercise wagon that I forgot all the good stuff. And, believe you me, there is good stuff. Shame on me. Big time. Time to rectify this situation. I wanna wear leggings by Christmas, and get back to doing boy push-ups, and rock a burpee, and not exercising is not gonna get me there. Go T-25!! Which, by the way, so far, I am impressed with. That is all.

Be where you are when you are there.

How's that for a confusing, slightly Confucius title??? This is going to be a little bit convoluted post and I will try to tie it into eating/exercising/and being a fat kid by the end, but bare with me in the mean time.

I have not only made some major life changes in the past year (year and a half), but I have also made some major life decisions, and have also had some major life thrown at me. As a result, if you know me, I some what resemble a chicken with her head cut off. I am basically chasing my tail every where I go. Normally, I would deal with this by eating, lots and lots of eating. And don't get me wrong, I still do my fair share. But, here is a little something I have been trying to do lately.... I have a pretty darn type-A personality. I like to be in control and I like for things to be perfect. So, giving something a half-hearted effort just isn't in my nature. It bothers me. Missing a deadline nearly kills me. Being out of commission because I am sick does nothing but fuel me with anger. So, right now I am working full-time, going back to school, riding/training two horses with others that need cared for at home, and moonlighting as a photographer. This is a lot for me. Some people may be able to breeze through with this schedule and not look back, but for me, it is a load. I find myself or at least my brain trying to be in all these places at the same time. As a result, I am not focused on what I am doing when I am doing it. I have crazy dreams about work where everything is falling apart, or I forgot to do something critical for a patient (I work at a horse hospital), or even worse, I dream that I get fired. Which in all honesty could be a blessing in disguise, but I just can't afford it right now. I am doing well in school, but I seriously am just waiting for the shoe to drop. I can't keep this up forever, can I??? I am a little behind in my photo processing, but I refuse to stress about it. What I have left are two weddings that I didn't charge for so at this point I feel like they are getting what they paid for. Sounds cold, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. So, you ask, what about a social life??? I am a social creature. I have close friends that I love and cherish and don't want them to get the shaft. So, I am working that in the mix too. Balance is important, no, balance is vital. And my family. Let's not leave them behind. So, finally here is the thing I have been trying to do. When I am at a place, let's say work, I try to just be at work. I try not to worry about school unless its lunch and I can squeeze it in. When I am at school, its all school. No FB, no worrying about work, no stressing over pictures, no guilty feelings about friends or family. When I am riding, I try to stay focused on my horse, not let my mind drift, think about each step she is making and how I am directing it. When I am with my friends, I enjoy every minute of them. I try to beat back thoughts of all the things I NEED to be getting done, and just be with them. When I am with my family, I listen to how their day was, try to be in the room with them, not racing around in my mind trying to do more than I should. This is not an easy process for me. I like to be going a million directions, I thrive on it, I do better under pressure. But, I have myself at a maxed out point where I am going to be picking quantity over quality and that just isn't my style. I want to be good at the things I am doing and I want the people that I am with to know that I am with them. I don't want to be so stressed that all I can think about is eating. Give it a try. Try just doing one thing at a time. See how it feels. I'm not saying there won't be times where you need to be multi-tasking and putting to use your super-human powers, I'm just saying don't overuse them. There may be a limit on them. Take time to do what you are doing right. Be where you are when you are there. Don't miss out because your body is in one place and your head is in another.

WHAT was I thinking???

What, I repeat, WHAT was I thinking??? I told you guys that I was going to work for my old boss for a couple of weeks (taking vacation from my current job to do so), and that it was gonna be kinda sorta hard. I am currently in the midst of that two week stint. I had to come home for four days to go back to class and I am heading back down tonight. But, just for fun, I thought I would run a 5k the morning after I got home. You know, instead of resting up for the next challenging week, go run a race. Right now you are probably thinking, well that's good, Funny Fat Chic has been running, good for her, maybe I should run too! Ha! Pfffft! Don't kid yourself. I opted to run the 5k with no training what-so-ever. As in I ran not one step for the couple of months prior to this 5k unless I was chasing a food truck of some kind. I realize that a 5k shouldn't require a lot of training, but some previous running may have been helpful. When we arrived the vast majority of the people there looked like they had been running before the race. Not running like right before the race, but maybe like they had been running several, if not many consecutive days prior to the race in a preparation of sorts for this particular day. There was one gal in particular that I will never forget her backside, as in I got a really good look at it due to the fact that she out ran me quite handily and I only got a look at her backside. She had long, toned legs, not short chubby ones like mine, a tight back that would look great in any bra, not like mine where I am continually trying to camouflage my back fat, and her arms were ripped, not rippling in the wind with every step like my own. While I will never have her height or length of leg, I aspire to be her, she is motivation.  I won't lie, I made it through, I ran the hills, I even ran and then went back for my friend and walked with her when she was feeling a little winded. So, I did it, and I felt like ass later (sorry for the language, but seriously, I felt like ass), and I ate onions rings after to make up for the whopping 75 calories I probably burned on that 3-point-whatever miles. So, I was considering it a wake up call, not that I didn't already have intentions to get rolling on the exercise wagon again anyways, but my readily apparent out of shape-ness on that little jaunt was pretty clear. Then it happened. I mean IT happened. They posted the race pictures. You know, in case you wanted to see yourself and all your out of shape glory attempting to pretend to jog up a hill... On the Internet... For all the world to see, not just me. So, there I am jogging with my incredibly adorable friend and what's that jogging with us??? Oh, yes, it's my gut. My bouncing, odd ball, ever present, spare tire. Illuminating itself through my brand new race t-shit, as if mocking the entire set-up. My gut was like, "Hey guys, see me, I'm not racing anyone, not even myself. How ironic that this race shirt even fits over me." OK, if I wasn't awake enough, those pictures did it for me. Color me back to exercising as soon as I get home from Reno. Lookout core, you're gonna be sore. Expect to see T-25 updates on this here blog. Expect to see less of me the next time you see me. Expect results. 'Cause here is the thing, I did that race and I made it, and I did fine, and a year ago, year and a half, that wouldn't of been true, but I have stalemated, and that isn't fair to me. Time to finish this thing. I know I will always struggle a bit, but I don't want to be fearful or ashamed of pictures of myself popping up somewhere. I want to be happy that I did it and looked good doing it. That's what I want. I want all the other stuff too, healthy habits, good to great fitness, etc. But deep down I want what we all want, I want to look good doing it. No more pushing snooze on this alarm clock, it's time to get down to business!!

P.S. I am VERY happy I did that race. It was good quality time with my friend and good gauge for me to see where I am really at. I don't regret a second of it, even if it means my gut made an Internet debut.

I may be becoming a bear...

A bear, why a bear? Am I growing a furry coat? A short stubby tail?? Have I taken a $#!& in the woods??? The answer is NO to all of the above. What makes me bear-like is my current state of hunger which can only be likened to a creature getting ready for a long winter with deep hibernation and my attitude of late which can be described as nothing short of bad. Very bad attitude. So what the heck is going on. When in doubt, blog about it!!

We'll go alphabetical, attitude first. I have myself a little overextended. And when I say a little, I mean that I have finally and officially bitten off more than I can chew. And in an attempt to help out a friend, I have signed up to drive myself over the edge by working for them out of town for the next two weeks. Which basically means that I will be putting my life (aka unending responsibilities) on hold for the next two weeks. Oh, and sleep, I'll be putting that on hold as well. So, between, work, the horses, my photography stuff (still have 2 weddings to finish editing), and school, guess what I haven't been doing.... EXERCISE!!! Which may also be contributing to my current state of nasty attitude. I feel like a few pounds have snuck back on. I refuse to step on a scale and see how many. My jeans still fit but they are most definitely snugger. I can tell my flexibility has gone downhill and there is a little more jiggle in my thighs. Sigh. Pffft. So, my vow, my solemn vow, is that after my two week out of town stint, it is back on the exercise wagon. No excuses, no cop-outs, no giving up. By Spring I want to be fit, not "I can run around the block" fit, but "Did you see the arms on that chic?" fit. As a result of being overextended, I am also not in a good frame of mind to handle change. There have been some big changes at my work, namely a new employee. I need to have a much better frame of mind about her than I do. I should be setting a better example for my staff. I need to not want to call in sick the days she is working. Vow number two, at the end of two weeks I need to go back to work with a better frame of mind.

Ok, now that we hashed out the attitude, we can roll on to the hunger. I think many of the above reasons are playing into the hunger factor. An additional one may be the plain old fact that I am tired, again. So, time to start recognizing the difference between hungry and tired. If only I could take a nap at lunch. My other problem at work is that instead of running off at the mouth when something irritates me, and by that, I mean makes me IRATE, I shove peanuts in my mouth. Handfuls of peanuts from the snack drawer. It could be worse, it could be chocolate, but it's not a healthy habit none-the-less. It is getting cool in the evenings, so I think that I want to eat in the evenings, for no apparent reason. Basically, I have taken a little turn for the worst. But, the buck stops here. Time to turn the tide back the other direction and get myself pulled together. I'm too important, have come too far, and worked too hard to let a little exhaustion and crappy co-worker rain on my parade. I don't wanna be a bear, I hope you don't wanna be a bear either.

Shhhh... I have a secret.

Do you love the skin you're in?? What is that commercial, Olay? Dove? Anyways, here is my secret. Having beautiful skin has nothing to do with what you put on it. I'll say it again, having beautiful skin has NOTHING to do with what you put on it. God's honest truth. So, Funny Fat Chic, you say, what does it have to do with??

Water. Mostly water, and some of what you eat. Maybe a touch of genetics. Here is the deal. Please don't think I am being conceited here, I have just realized the answer to a mystery. I get compliments on my skin all the time. From people I know and from complete strangers. Like ALL the time, almost daily. It's like kinda weird. Makes me uncomfortable. I mean I would rather get a compliment on my flabby ass, or manly hands, or stubby legs. In my youth, my skin was ok, typical teenage skin, the occasional zit, nothing to write home about. In my 20's, with the nasty eating habits and stress of college and the like, I had major acne. Awful, painful, hideous looking skin. I was mortified. I had never had my skin look like that before. I tried every cream, every wash, everything from Proactive to tea tree. You name it, I put it on my face. Guess what??? None of it worked. And most of it is expensive. I went through a phase where I decided to eat right, drink water instead of soda pop, exercise, and my skin cleared up without me even trying. Know what's cheap?? Water.

Fast forward to current date. Two weeks after I started my initial juice cleanse all anyone could talk about was my skin. You are glowing, what are you doing? Are you pregnant? No, man, I am on the juice. As part of the juicing I got in the habit of drinking A LOT of water. Currently, I shoot for a gallon a day. Think about that for a second. Does the 4 glasses of water you grab throughout the day add up to a gallon... Probably not. First thing when I get up in the morning, I drink 32 oz before I jump in the shower. Next thing, I drink hot water and fresh lemon juice before I have breakfast. Lemon is a good cleanser inside and out. It's cheap, it's tasty tart, it's good stuff. Then I continue to drink water through the day. The water keeps my guts moving, gross, but important, helps my liver filter out the bad stuff that would usually break out on my face, and keeps my cells hydrated. The only time I get a blemish is if I stray off my healthy path. I recently read a study that said 80% of Americans are clinically dehydrated. That is why we are sluggish, hungry, and full of zits!!! But seriously, drink a lot of water. Measure for awhile so you know how much a gallon really is. Drink your water.

The also mentions of pretty skin, what you eat... Don't eat processed food. Bottom line. It has additives, chemicals, things that your body hates. Things that your body tries to get rid of in cruel ways, like acne, bad coloring, wrinkles. Clean eating = clear skin. Drink your water.

Last one, genetics. In this case you got what you got. So, drink your water.

That's my secrets for great skin. I haven't used lotion in months. Just sunscreen. I'm not dry, I'm a little glowy (not as much as when I just juice), and I feel pretty good. Know why??? I drink my water.

Pretty is as pretty does...

Have you ever had a pretty person tell you that you're pretty?? A couple of weeks ago I was photographing a horse show and one of the contestants that hadn't seen me in awhile told me how pretty I was. She said it with such conviction and sincerity that for that moment, I WAS pretty.

I have always categorized people like so... There are pretty people and then there is me. Seems like a shallow way to divide people up, but it keeps things simple. There are just people that ooze beauty, some of them just on the outside and some of them from the inside out. Basically everyone of my friends is these people, they are all gorgeous. How I ever found so many pretty people, I'll never know. I carry enough self-loathing that the inside out beauty isn't gonna happen and between the extra weight, the crazy hair, and the ugly nose, I have never been one to fall in the outside beauty column either. Or at least that has been my mindset to date.

If a pretty person tells you that you are pretty, it just might be true. I mean who better to know what pretty is than someone who stares at it in the mirror on a daily basis. So, here is what I have been trying to do for the past two weeks... I have been trying to act like I am pretty. Not some conceded, I can just walk around in a bikini, flip my hair and get my way kind of pretty, but the inside out kind of pretty. The pretty that cares to take care of herself, the pretty that doesn't hang her head when passing people, the pretty that isn't worried about being ugly all the time. I'm not constantly winning on the pretty front, but I'm trying to keep a better self-image going. I feel like this is an important step in my weight loss journey, changing the way that I see myself and projecting that interpretation to others. I still have weight to lose, fitness to gain, and work to do, but it is ok, to be ok with where I am at during this very moment. You know why??? 'Cause someone thinks I'm pretty.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I LOVE to beat myself up right into an eating frenzy. It's a big downfall for my health, weight loss, and well-being. I can let a a wrong-doing from someone else go no problem, but I can't let any my infractions, or even things that aren't infractions, but I make them into one, go, not even for a second. I wake up in the middle of the night lecturing myself for things I haven't even done or not done yet. It's not a good trait of mine and it's something I am working on. This letter below comes from a phenomenal blog. If you aren't following it, I highly recommend it. bravegirlsclub.com. It addresses forgiveness and shares how progress is stalemated until you let go of your sins of the past.

Oh Sweet Summer Time...

My, oh, my, where has the summer gone??? And where on earth is Carmen San Diego?? (did I date myself with that comment??) And, more importantly, why has Funny Fat Chic abandoned her blog??? As it turns out I can only answer one of those questions, the last one. It wasn't so much as abandonment, but something more along the lines of Funny Fat Chic has been burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. But, I am fully and finally ready to get back into the swing of things on several fronts. Here is a nice little list rundown of what has been happening in my regular world, nutrition world, weight loss world, exercise world, and mental well-being world. That's like a summer solar system for ya...

1) Busy you say, busy doing what?? I went to Canada, photographed a wedding and spent a little time with one of my dearest friends. Came home, kept rolling on with my day job, which honestly is beginning to get in the way of the rest of my life. Photographed a horse show. Then another wedding (two now under my belt, does that make me a wedding photographer, I think not...). Then a one-year-old's birthday party (herding cats). Then a stallion advertisement photo shoot. Then I went camping and unwound just a little. Then I went and showed my three-year-old cow pony for the first time. I have another horse show to shoot this weekend. So, my life has basically been like this, get up at 4am, feed the orphan foal, edit pictures until it is time to go to work. Go to work, pretend I'm thinking about work and not the 3,000 other things I need to be doing. Go home. Do chores. Go ride two horses. Go back home and edit pictures until I'm ready to pass out at 10 or 11. Repeat until utter exhaustion sets in.

2) What is missing from item 1??? That's right, you guessed it, exercise. I have not stuck to a legitimate exercise routine since I went to Canada. Holy cow, that stinks. That stinks a lot. I'm starting to notice a little lack of energy and some soft spots. Thus, it is time to schedule exercise back into my life. No if's, and's, or inordinately large butt's about it. I bought T-25, Shaun T's new workout regime, I am going to put it to work, it's 5 days a week and I am going to lift weights 3 days a week. I am going to be my super fit happy self again, not this walking dead, soft bellied shell of my earlier summer self.

3) Nutrition front has been going pretty well. I ate like a nasty teenager while I was camping, but I did a cleanse afterwards and shamefully shook a finger at myself in the mirror because I felt as crappy as the food I ate. Totally not really worth it. Go figure. I am still juicing at some point during the day, whether it be a snack or a meal replacement, I still feel like it is an important part of my health. Vegetables=Good Nutrition. Not a hard equation. I have been looking into the Paleo stuff. Which is basically the new buzz word for eating clean. Which is basically what I do. If I could cut out peanuts (aka peanut butter) and popcorn, I would be a poster child for Paleo, or at least the poster child for a clean eater. I have no desire to be on a poster and I am gonna have to think long and hard about the peanut butter and popcorn. Those are two emotional coping mechanisms I'm just not sure I can part with. Seems like a weak excuse to me, I would totally tell someone else that is a dumb reason to keep that extra 15-20lbs on, but when it comes right down to it, I love my peanut butter and popcorn, not together mind you.

4) Weight loss is in a holding pattern. I am happy with that. I have not been making a conscious attempt at losing weight other than the post-camping cleanse. Without the insane exercise regime and super stringent eating regulations, I am happy that the changes I have made are automatic enough that I haven't ballooned my way to hating myself through the summer. I will say that this last week has been hard. I think that I am confusing my tiredness with hunger. A bad confusion to make. After this crazy weekend I am going to become more vigilant about getting the appropriate amount of sleep, getting my energy boosting exercise in, and making the healthy nutrition decisions I need to keep after. Time to crack down on this last bit of excess yuck that I don't need hanging around on my body anymore!! Be gone belly, be gone thighs, be gone arm jiggle.

5) Mental well-being. Ha! I scoff at the phrase. Who needs to be mentally well anyways. Honestly, I do think that I have just been so busy I haven't had that much time to dwell on anything and cause myself mental anguish. My horse tossed a few curve balls at me to keep me worrying about something besides myself. So, that means Busy Trish=Happy, Yet Tired Trish. My goal is to get one photo shoot edited at a time and get everything checked off of my list before I commit to anything else that will make me go tilt or feel any guilt. And get my house back in order. And spend some time with my neglected family and friends. And get some sleep. Did I mention I am a little tired???

So, there you have, Funny Fat Chic's not-so-wild and crazy summer. Sorry for my absence and I promise to pay more attention to you guys as well, I've missed ya and the accountability that comes with talking to you. Welcome back!!!

Vacation!!!

I'm getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow. I'm headed to Canada, I'm a real international traveller like that. Don't be surprised if you don't hear much from me this coming week. Also, don't be surprised if I come back and add way too many vowels to all the words in my posts upon my return. Here are some things about vacation that make me lose my hair... Literally and figuratively.

1) I'm going to a dear friend's wedding. This is the wedding I have been worried about having "the" outfit for. I don't have "the" outfit. This may seem ridiculous, and it probably is, that I keep worrying about this. But the people that I am going to visit haven't seen me in awhile, so, I obviously look a little different considering I have dropped another humans worth of weight off my body. These people, some of my people, have been VERY supportive of my weight loss/health quest. For some reason it is important to me that I look my best when I am there. I don't want to let them down and have them think that all there support was for nothing. Although there is no chance on the planet that they would ever feel this way. EVER. Welcome to my endless rant of insecurities. So weird.

2) I am photographing this wedding. It is my first wedding to perform this task. I am not a wedding photographer. I'm not sure how many you have to do to consider yourself one, but I'm pretty sure ZERO isn't the number. Wedding moments only happen once. You can't stop the ceremony and ask them to do it again because you were slow on the trigger. As a result my iron gut is suffering from some intestinal distress. That should make the drive interesting. Again, these are the kindest people you would ever hope to meet and are going to love whatever I capture, which just makes me want to do a good job all the more.

3) I am driving by myself, a recurrent theme in my life. I do this pretty well, but, my driving record as of late has been classified as less than stellar. Thank goodness not all of my mishaps have had to be reported to my insurance. I'm sure they just laugh every time I call. Here's hopin I can stay out of vehicular trouble for the week.

4) The trip is going to be much shorter than I would like. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the friend that I am going to visit. The miles between us aren't fair. She is a gooden to have around. We stay in contact nearly daily, I know our friendship will sustain no matter what the distance or circumstance. But the spoiled brat in me would like to have more than 5 days to see her. I am thankful that I can be free-wheeling enough to jump in the car and get to go see her at all. Maybe I need to lean a little more towards that attitude instead of already feeling sorry for myself for not getting to spend two weeks... or three weeks... or a month... Be grateful for the time I get, I could not have it all.

5) I'll be meeting a lot of new people. Most people don't realize that I am kinda shy. At least with new people. I'm always nervous about what kind of impression I might make. I don't want to embarrass the people that I am associated with. I also don't want to fall short of any reputation (at least if it's good) that may precede me. Smile, Funny Fat Chic, it's gonna be just fine. I'm also bad with names. I'm gonna spend the drive trying to come up with some mnemonic devices to help me with that.

6) I inevitably will forget to pack about 7 things. And, if you saw how I packed you'd find this VERY funny. Part of the reason I hate to fly is it limits my ability to take everything I own with me. This time I am not only packing clothes, but am adding camera gear on top of that, and then in attempt to stay somewhat on track while I'm away, I will have some workout stuff and pre-made juice and hemp shakes. I don't want to gain 5lbs while on my road trip, but I am going to have fun and try not to stress too much about IT. If I can sneak my shakes in for breakfast and hit my juice where I can, squeeze in some workouts without tying up too much time I should be ok, and hopefully call it a success on the health front. But, I am going to Canada and there WILL be drinking. I WILL be participating, come hell or high water... As it turns out they have actually had the high water portion of that statement as of late.

There it is, my neurotic ramblings over what will be an amazing trip no matter how it shakes out. Have a great week and a wonderful 4th of July next week!! I'll be back.... (that's my best Arnold impression, how'd you like it????)

Dressing rooms, the bain of my existence.

Here is a weekend recap. It all started Friday night. It actually all started when my Mom genetically handed me down a crappy metabolism, but I digress. I had to work an extra four hours Friday night, emergencies happen where I work and it can't be avoided sometimes, and by sometimes I mean ALL the time. It basically shot my plans for getting my horse rode, a workout in, and editing the horse show I am working on right now. I reduced it down to eating some turkey jerky on my way out the door and getting in my workout before eating some popcorn and going to bed. I had to work on Saturday, so staying up until the wee hours of the morning editing wasn't an option. Went and worked on Saturday, nothing exciting there. My plan for the evening after working was to go buy these ridiculously expensive jeans that I swore I would NEVER pay that much for a pair of jeans so that I would have something respectable to wear to the wedding next weekend, then ride my pony, and workout. No big deal, sounds innocent enough. So, I go to the store where the jeans currently resided, and as it happens, still reside (spoiler alert: I didn't buy them). I had been stewing about these jeans for two weeks. That's how I shop. I don't try stuff on, I don't buy it when I first see it, I try and see if I can live without it, then I go back later and they don't have my size anymore, and I don't have to buy it, wasn't meant to be, see, not complicated at all. So, I grabbed 5 pairs of jeans including "the" pair. I tried them on, One pair didn't fit, the rest did. But, mind you, one pair not fitting is enough to knock the wind outta a Funny Fat Chick's sails. That's it, that's all it takes. I couldn't say that "the" pair made my hiney look so fabulous that I was willing to pay $89 for them. None of the others blew my skirt up either. That may be partially because I was in a dressing room. Which basically amounts to psychological warfare for an eternal fat kid. I have spent my life avoiding these places at ALL costs. For starters, you are changing in out of clothes you don't own in public. Weird. Secondly, there is a good chance that you are going to put something on that doesn't fit, and one way or the other, that is upsetting. Lastly, if you are shopping alone there is no reassuring friend to tell you that you don't look like the beached whale that you see in the mirror. I spent enough time trying stuff on that I had to pee, real bad. I found the bathroom and tried to regroup. I thought, I will look one. more. time. I hit the clearance rack where I found the pair I ended up buying. Whether they were a better cut for me, the right shade of blue, or who knows what, I liked this pair of jeans, didn't love, but liked them enough to buy them and didn't feel completely ripped off. They were still more money than I am usually willing to spend on britches, but they didn't break the bank. I got the rest of my shopping done and headed home. Where, I crashed. Crashed hard. I didn't get any of the other things done that I wanted to, and I ate my way through the evening. Nothing terrible for me because I just don't keep that stuff in the house, but if it had been there, I'm sure it wouldn't have stood a chance. One that emotional trigger is tripped there is no putting that bullet back in the gun. I am better now. Back to my normal self. But it is continually disappointing that there are still things out there that can push me over that edge. Between the exhaustion, the jeans fiasco, and my teetering self-confidence, this wasn't my best weekend. But the good news is that I can pick myself up and move on from it, something I never used to do. Silver linings, they are out there.

This HAD to be shared...

This is a link to a post by a fellow blogger. For any of you that have been trying to eat clean, this is a MUST read. It hits all the anxiety, pitfalls, and distress that one encounters on their quest for "environmentally friendly" nutrition.

http://www.nwedible.com/2012/08/tragedy-healthy-eater.html

Marco... Polo

What's that, Funny Fat Chic, have you been absent becasue you have been at the bottom of a pool??? No, not quite. For starters, I can't swim. And, not for lack of trying either. I sink, bottom line. I have been MIA this past week due to the fact that it is beginning to be a CRAZY BUSY SUMMER!!! I apologize for my neglect of this here blog. Here are some observations I have had over the past week that should fill you in on my state of mind/being/and general thought processes.

1) My arms no longer hit my sides when I walk. this could be due to one of two reasons. A) I am finally thin enough that this no longer happens... or B) My football player stature has me walking around looking like "The Rock". You be the judge. Now, if only I could get my thigh to stop touching. They seem to be attached at the hip... Get it?

2) Extreme workout videos don't work for me during the summer months. I got a lot goin on and 85+ minutes a day is a little too much. I know that Pinterest would tell there is someone busier than me out there exercising and I should feel all kinds of shame for not doing TapOut XT2 right now, but you know what, NO, I will not feel bad about this. I bought a book full of exercises and it has workout programs in the back. They are mainly strength training and focus a lot on core stuff. The workouts take about 40+ minutes. I love it. I plug in my iPod and get it done. I feel good, it fits my schedule, and I needed a break from being bossed around. Will I go back to TapOut?? Absolutely, but probably not until this Fall. So there.

3) I have a wedding to go to. I can't find a thing to wear. I am in between sizes. I mean, I can get the 9's on and zipped and some people would wear them... They are too tight for me to make an appearance in them by my standards. The 10/11's look frumpy on me. So now I am just frumpy and grumpy. Bad combination.

4) I LOVE summer. It's riding, hiking, road tripping season and I LOVE it.

5) I may be in a perpetual state of sorta fat. I'm no longer full fledged fat, but I am not thin/skinny/ripped yet either and progress is sloooooow. Like I mean sloooooow. Especially slow for an impatient person (raised hand... that's me!!). So, here I am in between sizes, sorta fat. Sigh.

6) I sustained myself for three days last week on nothing but turkey jerky, vegetable juice, and peanut butter. This was not intentional, but it sure happened. Weird.

7) I had someone point out to me the other day that everyone needs a leg up sometimes. It was in reference to some life decisions that I am making right now, and certain circumstances have caused me to scale back a little more than I wanted, thus making me irritated, upset, etc. If I would be willing to accept help I could up my timeline, if I am stubborn and proceed on my own accord things will go more slowly. Heavy stuff man. Weighs on my mind. Weighs on my psyche. Make me put my hand to my mouth with popcorn in it. Oh, my emotional comfort food, it continually stands the test of time. Still undecided...

So, there you have it, the good, the bad, and the ugly from the bottom of the pool.

New emotion.... VANITY

I've been feeling a little vain lately. Don't worry, I'm not strutting around acting like my you know what doesn't stink or anything. I have just been noticing some things and taking action on them that I never would have before. For example... I have a renegade nose hair in my left nostril. I was never aware of its existence before and now I keep tweezers in the car to yank that sucker out every time it crops up. Another example is that I worry about how my clothes fit. Now, I don't want you to think I've jumped off the deep end, I still wear fat pants to work, thrifty beats vanity any day of the week and twice on Sundays. But I think about it when I leave the house for any other reason. Is this shirt too tight? Do these pants make me look shorter? Do these sleeves make me look like a football player? You know, stuff like that. I'm also uncomfortable in my hair, that's not really new, but I do feel like I am more at odds with it these days. Can't we all just get along? I think gone are the day's of the girl that had "go to town hoodies", hardly ever wore make-up, had never met nail polish or an eyelash curler, and never bothered to check a mirror before exiting the house. I'm WAY to vain now.

I had a weak moment... Or two.

I came really close to doing something that goes against all the methods and hard work I have used to lose weight. Strange things happen when you get close to your goal. With weight loss the closer you get to your goal, the harder (or slower) it is to achieve. As a result you get a little (or a lot) desperate to get there. You start to think of quick fixes that would get you where you want to be in instant gratification style. You'll do anything to get to that goal weight/size/body. Enter the ridiculous junk mail. 

I received a flyer for green coffee extract pills, you know, the latest and greatest diet fad. They are being peddled by the infamous, multi-billion dollar, I don't even know if he's a real doctor, Dr. Oz. They claim to drop 5lbs every three days and you can still eat a bunch of crap and never get off of your couch. It's a weight loss miracle!! And for $104 you can get a 4 month supply. They had tons of skinny chic pictures that claimed they were 90lbs heavier 7 hours ago. Yeah, sure, right, show me your stretch marks and then we'll talk. It all sounded too good to be true, which leads me to believe it probably is. And even if it does work it's probably not sustainable. And I can do a lot with a hundred bucks. But the real reason I didn't order them was you guys. I could not figure out how to justify to my audience how I was gonna make the jump from fitness & healthy eating to pill popping. There is no justification other than lack of patience on my part. So, there you have it. You guys have helped me stay true to my program and my health. So you may not be "doctors" like Dr. Oz, but you have aided in me making the right decision.

My other weak moment was the body wraps that you see everywhere. I passed on those too, I think they may just be high dollar saran wrap. I am striving for those single digits and in the mean time I am going to try and appreciate my body for all the things it can do (like burpees!!!) and not for its current appearance.

My new obsession...

I was all in a dither over getting into my size 12 jeans, remember. Now, my 11's require a belt. I have decided that happiness will be single digits. I'm getting closer, but things (when I say "things" I mean my nasty-ass fat) are coming off slowly. I hadn't weighed in a couple weeks because I hadn't been happy with my workout progress and was worried I'd gained. My delicate psyche wasn't in the mood to see an increased number on the scale so I just didn't weigh myself. But, I didn't feel like my clothes were getting tighter or anything and starting yesterday I was vowing to try harder to squeeze in my new workout regime. So, I weighed in. Over the last two weeks I accidentally lost two pounds. I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing that I can attribute it to is that I make healthy choices on auto pilot now. I really was not making an obsessive attempt at losing weight, and yet it happened anyways. It wasn't the 5 or 6 lbs I would like to lose over 2 weeks time, but I'll take it. I have 33 days before attending a wedding and I have 4 pairs of very cute size 9 jeans calling my name. I'm going to put forth a little more effort and see what happens. I am 12 to 17 lbs away from "goal" weight. So, here goes nothin. Wish me luck!!

Things that used to be hard aren't so hard now.

I'm gonna revisit the Ah-Ha moments for a minute. I keep having mini versions of them these days. For instance...

I have this yard, this ridiculously large yard, that I mow with a push mower. Takes two hours no matter what you do. That task used to zap me, that would count as exercise. Now, I don't even crack a sweat.

I'm not as crazy fast as the MMA fighters in my video, but I get a little faster everyday. Things get a little easier to do each week, like one legged burpees with a knee strike!

I don't feel pain with every movement I make and I have a crazy range of motion compared to the old me.

I also was never as strong as I thought I was. I was just throwing my weight around, literally. Things that used to be heavy to carry aren't so heavy anymore.

Mirrors aren't as painful as they once were. As a matter of fact I can look in one and not hate myself. That's kinda a big deal. I'm not perfectly happy with what I see either, but I don't run screaming to the fridge every time I look in one either.

My reflexes are faster. I can catch stuff I drop before it hits the ground. I may or may not be becoming a super hero.

It's just crazy to wake up one day and discover you aren't arguing all day with your body. I can't even imagine what I will feel like if I get these last 15-20 lbs off. Look out world, I could be on my to invincible.

Slumps, funks, and ruts

Here is a little something I do to myself on a regular basis. I put too much pressure on myself to the point where I have no choice but to fail and/or possibly sabotage myself into a tailspin. I know I'm not alone in this quandary. I think it comes with being a Type-A control freak that thinks they can do EVERYTHING. And, when I/we don't get our way, have outside influences ruin our plans, etc, I basically throw a fit that ends in failure of some kind. Which, once thrown leads to a session of "why did I do that??".  But here is the thing, it's ok to not be able to do it all all of the time. I'm not saying to stop trying. Not at all. But maybe find something that will fit your schedule, will maintain your level of fitness, and doesn't make you feel like you aren't getting it done. The past couple weeks I have been hit and miss on my TapOut XT2. Life and the spring/summer "busy" have taken over. But I'm getting it in when I can. On days I don't I make sure and get in my squat/crunch/push-up challenge. It doesn't take an obscene amount of time and I at least feel like I did something. I also try to keep my eating in check. Watch my portions, don't eat junk, and recognize emotional eating. I may not be dropping pounds like crazy right now, I may not be in my perfect body I'm striving for, but I feel good, I don't hate myself, and I know I'm not doing nothing. If you are in a slump, it's ok to take a little break, find something a little different to do in the mean time that does fit where your life is at, and by all means DO NOT beat yourself up or give up. You deserve the benefits of fitness as much as the next person, don't let life or anyone take that away from you. Unslump, defunk, steer outta that rut... And drink lots of water, I hear it's good for ya.

Relaxing

I'm trying to relax. Pause for all of you readers that personally know me to absorb that statement. I'm not trying to relax in the sense that I am doing less. That would be silly non-sense. I'm just trying to relax my calorie obsession and my panic if I don't get worked out. I have transitioned into a mini-workout in the morning and a regular workout at night. My night ones have been hit and miss the past two weeks due to my work schedule and a new "project" I have taken on. But, I am trying to be ok with that. It's an effort at least. But I am slowly realizing the beating myself up over it is A) Not going to change the fact that I didn't get it done, B) Not going to add anymore hours to my day, and C) Is going to lead me down a self-destructive path. So, I'm trying to relax a little. Here's me with my feet up and a cool drink in my hand. Ha!

Ah-Ha Moments

I went to visit my bestest friends this weekend and while up at their place I had several Ah-Ha moments and one Holy S#!t moment, pardon my language but there is truly no other way to put it. An Ah-Ha moment by my definition is when you suddenly have an awakening realization that settles something in your mind that has previously been unsettled. Let's start with those moments.

1) If you are a pretty person, you get noticed. This is not a snide or vindictive observation, I promise. I just realized that I notice pretty people, women or men, and I mention them. Like, "Did you see how pretty so-and-so was!!". The people I was with do the same thing. I'm sure that other people do it too. I also noticed that those exceptionally pretty people were alone a lot, like they were unapproachable or something. Just an observation.

2) This Ah-Ha moment was forced upon me. I still see myself as a fatty and feel like I need to in order to stay motivated to finish losing the weight. Whether that statement is true is up for debate. But, as we were standing in the bar my friend said this to me... "I'm gonna put this in perspective for you, you are skinnier than 75% of the people here, look around you." Now, as it turns out she was right, she basically always is. I would still like to narrow that percentage a little more, but it does make sense to be moderately happy with were I am currently at, a healthy "normal" weight range/size.

3) There are people in your lives that are "your" people. These people treat you the same no matter where you are in your life. Happy/sad, wealthy/poor, fat/thin. They don't care, they don't see that stuff in you, they just love you and treat you the same no matter what. My friends I saw this weekend are those people. I think I have only recently Ah-Ha'd this because I have noticed other people treating me differently now, not these people though, these are my people. Thank you Rodney Atkins and baby Jesus.

And now for the Holy S#!t moment...

I saw a picture of myself that I didn't even realize was in existence. I avoid cameras like they are stealing my soul every time someone points on at me, I am part Indian you know. Always have, most likely always will. This picture was from a girl's weekend about a year and a half ago. I was at my max weight. I picked the picture out of the drawer and immediately recognized the other girls in the picture and actually wondered who the big girl in the middle was and then BAMMM!!! I realized it was me. I didn't recognize myself, that is a crazy, crazy weird feeling. It was surreal even. I literally dwarfed the other women in the picture. They looked like mini-people compared to the person standing next to them. I knew I was fat when I started this, but I did not realize what that picture showed me. I'm not sure how I was even functioning in that state of being. So, I realized that I don't EVER want to be that person in that picture again. The person that was trying to hide under many layers of clothing. The person whose face was so round that it was unrecognizable. The person that could barely manage a smile because she was so embarrassed and mortified of herself. That person that didn't know what to do so she just ate her way through everything. I don't ever want to be that person again, EVER. I tried to take the picture with me when I left so that I had it to motivate myself to the end but "my people" wouldn't let me. They said there is no point in looking back unless you are seeing how far you have come, since I had done that already there was no reason to dwell on that picture. Again, they were right, they pretty much always are. Those are "my people".

Say my name.

So, here is a little bit of a weird deal. When I was fat, not the mediocre, half hearted fat I am now, but the kind of fat that looked like I was trying... Anyways, when I was fat, people addressed me by my name and hardly ever touched me. Now that I am more socially acceptable looking people call me "honey", "babe", "sweetie", stuff like that and often times they are touching my arm, or have their arm around my now visible waist, or something equally awkward. See, I'm not really a toucher in general. I have a wide berth on my personal space. That hasn't changed with my change in appearance. But now that I am thinner people tend to ignore my "don't you dare burst my bubble" dirty look. They also don't believe I have a given name. I no longer possess my given identity. Now, mind you, I do understand that people are just being nice, which is the reason I don't slap their hands or call them by the pet names that I would like to use. But, it is a social phenomenon I have recently been noticing. A fat person gone skinny is about the same as a plucky pregnant lady, fair game for public affections, desired or not.

Insanity Check-out, TapOutXT2 Check-in

I have officially completed Insanity. What I can say is, WOW, what a program. It will get you in better shape, no doubt about it. I don't think my results were as extreme as some of the infomercial results, but I didn't go into with no fitness what-so-ever. I think the biggest change that I saw was in my cardiovascular endurance. This deal will put some air in your lungs, no doubt about it. Here are my beginning and ending measurements... I will spare you the gory photographs.

February 18th

Arms:          Left  14.5 inches     Right 14.25 inches
Thighs         Left  25.5 inches     Right 25.5 inches
Calves        Left  16.5 inches     Right  16 inches
Chest          39 inches
Waist          38.5 inches
Hips            42.25 inches
Size 12 jeans
Weight 187.8 pounds

May 6th

Arms          Left  13.25 inches     Right 13 inches   Loss: 2.5 inches
Thighs        Left  24.25 inches     Right  24 inches   Loss: 2.75 inches
Calves        Left  16.5 inches       Right  15.75 inches Loss: 0.25 inches (I'm gonna say my calves didn't change too much... :) )
Chest         38.5 inches  Loss: 0.5 inches (honestly, my chest is the last thing I wanted to lose, if you know me, you know why... I DO NOT have one)
Waist         37 inches    Loss: 1.5 inches
Hips           41 inches    Loss: 1.25
Size 11 jeans with a belt to keep them from sagging. That's right, I said it, I've been wearing a belt.
Weight       174.6 pounds   Loss: 13.2 pounds

Total Loss: 8.75 inches  13.2 pounds and I lost my weak lungs, my meager beating heart, and my belief that I could no longer do a "boy" push up.

I started TapOutXT2 last night. It's gonna be a good one. Check-ins to follow...

INSANITY: Week 8

Just a quick check-in this week. After my week off and a slow start last week, I got the ball rolling, logged in all my workouts, and again wondered why I bothered to take a break because I felt so good after I got back on the wagon. But maybe I felt good because I took a break, who knows? Either way, it was a good week for me both exercise and nutrition wise, minus the wine I had with my Uncle who was visiting on Saturday night.

Insanity Week 8 Results:

Weight: 174.8 (down 0.2lbs, basically I maintained over the past two weeks, go figure)
Measurements: Only one week to go until I measure, pins and needles, pins and needles...
Motivation: Pretty good, the end is in sight and I am ready to get going on the new program. My goal date is 62 days away and I have some work left to do!!
Strength Factor: I feel really good right now, I'm still not at the all "boy" push-up level, but I feel much stronger than I did when I started this endeavour and I know my fit test results reflect that. I'm ready to tackle this final week and see how I ended up.

White Girls Can't Jump!

So, I'm not like basketball height or anything. I'm not a midget either. I mean 5'6" is pretty average. But one would think I would have better hops than I do. I know height doesn't have everything to do with it. I was just hoping that I could explode a little higher than I can. When I jump, landing softly is not an option. I hit the ground and it sounds like a T-Rex is doing a jumping jack in my spare bedroom. Except my arms are actually proportionate to my body. They repeatedly say "land softly" in my videos. I mock them with each jump. I may have to change rooms soon because I feel like I am compromising the integrity of the sub floor in this one. I can't jump, not like a real jump anyways. This should come as no surprise to me. I have never been light of foot. You want to really see something... You should see me dance. It's a cross between a dry heave and a drunken Billy Ray Cyrus. Not pretty. And it's too bad 'cause I kinda like to dance. It's just nobody likes to dance with me. I really can't blame them. People don't generally risk injury for a good time. So, my other realization, which isn't a far cry from my first one, is this, I am not fast footed either. I think I might me marginally faster than I was before. But, my feet don't needle up and down like sewing machine, they more like pound up and down like a dying jack hammer. Which makes me see my high school softball nickname in a whole new light... "Hammill the Hammer". Here I was thinking it was because I could hit home runs. I would like to be fast of foot. I would like to land softly and move quickly. I would like to release my inner jungle cat. I think I keep up with the videos, but they look a lot better doing it. Maybe I can blame it on my shoes. You know, like all my shoes 'cause I seem to move the same in all of them. Damn shoes anyways for keeping from my WNBA hoop dreams.

Happy Anniversary!!

What, wait a minute, hold the phone... It's Monday, isn't there supposed to be an Insanity update??? So, here is the thing. I had a lot of quote/unquote "life" happen last week that took priority over me taking time for myself each day. It happens, it happens to everyone. What that meant is that not only did I take a break from my calorie counter, but I took a break from Insanity as well. So shoot me. I was also exhausted last week, and if this endeavour has taught me anything it is to listen to my body, and my body needed a little rest. So, that's what it got, sort of. It was still a crazy busy week, hence why you didn't hear much from me here. I am back fully to it this am and will get my program finished and on to the next one... and the next one... and the next one...

Why the Happy Anniversary you ask?? Well, on Saturday the 20th it has been exactly a year since I began this quest to get thin, get fit, and get better all over. I have been struggling, fighting, and losing for a year. Quite possibly another reason why I needed a break last week. You ever push so hard at something for so long that you get burnt out?? I felt a little burnt out last week. Most people start their weight loss goals with 20-30 pounds to lose, it takes a couple months and then they transition into their new maintenance habits/lifestyle. I have had to be in full on weight loss mode for a year. Last week I was tired of thinking about. Tired of worrying about it. Just plain old tired. So, I didn't think about it, I didn't worry about it. I just was. I didn't eat terrible by any means, as a matter of fact, I probably didn't eat any different with the exception of the two times I went out to dinner over the weekend with friends. I did drink a little which is out of my current norm, but all in all I really wasn't bad per se. I snacked a little more yesterday than I should have. I did not weigh in this morning, I weighed last Monday, so I felt like this am was the end of my week off. I am going to do a 5 day juice cleanse to get the "uggg, I drank on Saturday and ate a steak one night" feeling out of system. After that I will be back at my calorie counter. I am still going to do Insanity this week. I have two weeks left of that and I need to finish, it's important to finish your goals. After that I get to measure which is exciting/depressing/good news/bad news all rolled into one. I will see how far I have come but also how far I have to go. And I do still have some to go. People are VERY supportive of me right now and continue to tell me how good I look, but I feel like they are comparing me to the old me, and not to what a normal person should look like. I still have some jiggle in my wiggle. As a matter of fact, until I get to my goal, I am going to call these the Jiggly Days. I am officially out of the Morbidly Obese Days and even out of the Obese Days, but I am not yet in the Beautiful Happy Fit Days. I am in weight loss limbo. A purgatory of sorts. And, seriously, who wants to stay in purgatory?

I don't want you to think that I am diminishing what I have done so far. I have lost 132 pounds in a year. I have lost an average sized woman in a year. I have lost most of what is holding me back in a year. That is a big deal. It's just that the thrill is a little lost on me right now. The last bit has been coming off so slowly that I feel as though I have been hitting my head against every wall for a few months now. I have also amped up my fitness level dramatically in the past year. All done through sweat and movement. I haven't taken any pills or "supplements", I have wrapped myself with anything (although I am tempted), I haven't done anything but change my nutrition and exercise programs. I truly believe that there lies the means for me to keep the weight off. But, the few snacky days that I had in the last week and my propensity to emotionally or stress eat make me a little scared. I could feel myself slipping a little, hence the cleanse and regroup this week. Slipping happens on a slippery slope and I don't want to backslide. No way, no how. You have to try to be aware. I am aware and I am changing course before things get out of hand. But it is disappointing that I haven't beat that part of my personality back with a big enough stick to have gotten rid of it. So, yes, I am celebrating the anniversary, but I am working hard to stay focused and reach my goals. I have set a date for myself, because I feel like I need a deadline. June 30th I have a wedding to attend and two months seems like a reasonable amount of time for me to get rid of 15-20 pounds. Bring on summer, bring on the new me, bring on Glorious Maintenace Days.

Sometimes you need a break, and I don't mean a Kit Kat bar.

I abandoned my calorie counter this week. I needed a break. I was getting a little obsessive about eating EXACTLY 1,300 to 1,500 calories per day, and how many calories were in this walnut half, and how many handfuls of popcorn I could have to round off my day, and what if I add strawberries to this, and measuring everything with tablespoons, 1/4 cups, etc. It was getting to where all I thought about was how many calories I was consuming and did I get them entered in my phone. It was getting too much. I am planning on just taking this week off and then getting back to it, but I needed a mental break from it. I think the calorie counter is a good tool to be accountable and its a good plan to know what and how much you are actually consuming, but if it gets to where it's the center of your universe, it's time for a break. So, here is my calorie counter... Console it, it's having abandonment issues.

Insanity: Week 7

It's hard to believe I only have 2 weeks of Insanity left. I have a feeling I'm not going to hit all my goals, but it won't be for lack of trying. I did have a surprising event happen. They added back in the abs workout this week and I made it all the way through without cheating (some call it modifying, I call it cheating). I was quite surprised, and pleased.

I also made a mistake yesterday. I had an innocent thought. I thought, "Hey, I only have 2 weeks left of Insanity, maybe I should crack the box on the next workout and see what's in store for me." Who thought things could get harder than the second month of Insanity. TapoutXT2 I already knew would be challenging because I started with TapoutXT and it was tough. But the upcoming XT2 is gonna be a butt kicker. It has just a mere 2 days off in the first month and no days off in the second. The shortest workout is an hour and some range into 90+ minutes. If that doesn't tone up the rest of my flab then I think my quest may be hopeless. I think I opened the box so that these next two weeks of Insanity would seem super easy. And mind you, Insanity isn't exactly a walk in the park. 60 days of XT2 will take me to the first of July... Here's hoping I'll be ripped for summer!!

INSANITY: WEEK 7 RESULTS
Weight: 175lbs (Down 4.4 lbs. For the first time in years my driver's license isn't a lie)
Measurements: Not until the end, which is getting close. I did try on some jeans and I can fit some 10's in a couple of brands, yeah me, one step closer to single digits.
Motivation: Pretty darn good now that I have seen what I have to look forward to. I better rock these last two weeks so I am properly prepped for the next go round. To quote Shaun T...DIG DEEPER Y'ALL!!
Strength Factor: Good, I'm not so sore this week, I am getting better in my form, doing more "boy" push-ups, and I am getting some definite definition in my arms. All good stuff.

On a nutrition side note, I had a hard weekend. I didn't eat anything quote/unquote bad for me, but I was super snacky. My weekend plans got tanked and I was a little pouted up about that. The weather was crappy here Saturday and kept me inside too much. I have a couple things I'm stressed about. So, there you have my list of excuses. None worth stuffing my face, so, back to routine and structure tomorrow on Monday. I usually can tell if I've I lost or not before I step on the scale. It's weird, I thought for sure I had gained, I think I had some wires crossed this past week. Time to get unravelled.

Pearls of wisdon from the internet...

With the advent of facebook, pinterest, twitter, ect., ect., there are many places to pull knowledge, wisdom, motivation, and sometimes garbage from... Here is a collective gathering of tidbits that I have been witness to as of late...

You are what you eat, so don't be cheap, easy, or fake.

Strive for progress, not perfection.

You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. -Lou Holtz

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. -Jim Ryan

The difference between a goal and a dream is a deadline. -Steve Smith

It's not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion.– Muhammad Ali, Boxer

Fall down seven times, get up eight -Chinese proverb

Strength is the product of struggle.

If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will.

Sweat is fat crying. (my personal favorite)

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

What you eat in private will show up in public.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.

If you still look cute at the end of your workout then you didn't train hard enough.

The feeling you get after a workout today is what makes you want to do it again tomorrow.

When I exercise I wear all black, its like a funeral for my fat.

The difference between want and need is self-control.

Strong is the new skinny.

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.

There is just a few to keep y'all going. I know that they can be corny, but I find a little solace in them from time to time and whatever it takes to keep going is whatever it takes, corny or not.

Insanity: Week 6

Well, nothing like taking it up a notch to show yourself how NOT fit and NOT strong you are. Shaun T definitely ramps things up for the second month. The workouts are an hour long and some of the moves are much harder, some moves are the same, just more intense. I did not complete these workouts to perfection by any means this week. Which is good. I should have to work to be able to do them at the level the people on the video are doing them. By the last quarter of each video my muscles are definitely fatigued and I had to push pretty hard to finish. I did get sore this week, which is also good because if it hurts it works. I have a lot to strive for over the next three weeks. I would like my form to improve on a few of the moves, I would like to get more power jumps in when they are called for and by the end I would like all of my push-ups to be "boy" ones. Right now I am about 50/50, when I get fatigued I switch so I can keep going. What I can say for Shaun T is that I am willing to do whatever he tells me. He is a VERY good motivator and has put together a challenging program. Here's hoping I can achieve my goals over the next few weeks.

Insanity: Week 6 Results

Weight: 179.4 (up one lb, awesome)
Measurements: Not until the end... Sigh.
Motivation: Good to moderate (always a little shaky on a gain week), ready to push through these final weeks. Changing the program showed me my weaknesses so now I have some things to work on. Not feeling as badass, feeling like I need to work a little harder to be a badass.
Strength Factor: Body sore, have pinpointed my shoulders and quads as weak spots and I know that my remaining belly is compromising some of my form. Cardio strength is good, month one prepped me well for that part, now to get STRONGER!

Body Fat Percentage

There are many ways for us to judge ourselves (body wise), many standards upon which we hold ourselves to. They can range from jean size, dress size, BMI, weight, number of suicides you can do in a minute, how many inches your waist is, the list could go on forever. My latest is body fat percentage. I pitched a big ole fit on Monday about being 30% body fat when my new caliper came in the mail courtesy of Amazon.com. I didn't bother to find out what that number really meant. I just thought, "Good God, I'm still 30% fat, one GD third of me is fat, straight up nasty fat, you're disgusting Funny Fat Chic!!". So, now that I have settled down and decided to do a little research, I found out that for a woman my age I am actually in the healthy/average range for body fat percentage (I am however in the higher end of that range). I have a new goal. I would like to get into the fitness range of body fat percentages. This means I am going to need to lose 6-10% of my body fat. Now that doesn't sound nearly as daunting as x-amount of pounds. Although I'm sure if I do the math it will amount to more than ~20 that I think I need to lose. But I believe that body fat percentage might be a healthier standard to hold ourselves by. Weight doesn't account for the fact that muscle weighs more than fat and all the working out means there is lean muscle being put on underneath that icky fat. Body fat percentage only measures the fat, so it doesn't let you beat yourself up over the muscle you put on. This is part of why I am dying to measure myself to because I think I have lost inches, my pants say that I have, but I said I would wait, so I will wait. I am just stabbing in the dark here, but I think that is good to have ways to measure ourselves that don't always include beating our heads against the proverbial wall next to our scales. I know that I still need to get pounds off, but I like the idea of getting my body fat percentage down. So, don't be surprised if you see that number pop up occasionally in the blog. Here is a really good/informative article that explains body fat percentage, what the numbers mean, the different ranges, and even gives some example pictures of what people look like at various percentages. P.S. I do not look like the woman that is in a bikini at 30% body fat. If I did you probably wouldn't hear me bitching and moaning on here, I'd be somewhere in a bikini.


http://www.builtlean.com/2010/08/03/ideal-body-fat-percentage-chart/e

Arugula!

So, as you can imagine, my diet leans a little more towards salads than it used to. I have made a few discoveries along the way. My most recent one is arugula. I don't even know why they make other lettuces. It's springy without being twiggy, it's flavorful without tastings grassy, it's full of texture and is already in little bite size pieces without having to be chopped up. Don't get me wrong, I still have deep feelings for spinach and I won't turn my nose up at the occasional kale infusion, but arugula is my new love, it's fresh and fun, and new to me. My second runner up is broccoli slaw. I plug that stuff to people like I'm campaigning it for town mayor. It's good stuff, filling, full of iron and fiber and has a million uses. So, I encourage you to shake up your salad life with a new something, whether it be a funky lettuce, a new dressing, the addition of nuts, or dates (another new one for me), or a little broccoli slaw, mix it up, keep it fresh, don't settle for a boring salad!! Arugula for President!!!

Regrouping

I have been trying to just write about Insanity one day a week on Insanity update day, but after the bad day on Monday it stands to reason that I should let you in on how things went yesterday. This is the time of year when things get really busy at my work and the physical part of my job gets, well, more physical. So, I am usually a little spent at the end of the day. But, that is no excuse. I know I will survive this better if I keep going with my exercise routine. Not to mention it is a good way to burn off the stress of the day. Here is a spoiler alert... I felt better after exercising last night, not astronomically worse like I did the night before when I ate my way through a bad evening. So, back to Insanity... I had to do a Fit Test last night and the first workout of month 2. The Fit Test went well. My numbers didn't double like last time, and some stayed the same, but I wasn't expecting huge jumps like the first time. I did increase several of the moves and felt pretty good about that. Then came the workout. Now, I was already a little spent from the Fit Test, you do go all out for 8 different moves for one minute each, it's not extremely hard, but it's no walk in the park either. The month 2 workouts are longer, this one was an hour. And let me tell you something, month 1 meant NOTHING. This was an all out sweat fest and I'm still not sure my heart rate has come down. My clothes were wringing wet when I got done, literally. Shaun T knocked the holy heck outta me and it was exactly what I needed. I needed to sweat, and groan, and fight my way through a gruelling workout. It did more for me mentally than anything I ever put in my mouth has. I just wish when I get blindsided by those days that I would remember that good feeling of accomplishment I feel after a workout instead of the self-loathing feeling I have after a bad night. So, I shall continue my quest on Insanity and hopefully get better at these month 2 workouts because I definitely didn't complete it perfectly last night, but I'm gonna work on it. I'm glad that I regrouped, got my act together, and am back on the bus.

Self-loathing

Whoa. Stop the bus. Let me off. I had a horribly self-sabotaging evening. Why? I have no friggin idea.
Have I gotten too many compliments lately and I feel the need cause myself drama?
Did I feel a little off today and decide to ride that wave all the way into the evening?
Has the back and forth guy jerked my chain again?
Did I gain 0.4 lbs that probably mean nothing but have me upset that I can't even have a recovery week or Easter dinner without gaining?
Am I getting close to a goal and feel the need to challenge myself?
Did my evening plans get set back by working late and cause me to pout my way through the rest of the evening?
Did some of my family issues rear their ugly head yesterday because it was a holiday?
Did I buy a body fat caliber and use it to find out I'm almost 30% fat and let that depressing fact allow me to stuff my face?
Has all my inner demon wrestling made me hungry?
Well, I think the answer is a resounding YES to all of the above. But did I want to talk about it, nope, I wanted to eat about it. So, now what? Sit and stress about my double order of salad (with trimmings) and the sesame snap snacks and homemade hummus and the fact that I didn't workout and that I know all of it was for the wrong reasons. There goes my weekend day off. Nothing I ate was "bad" food, but it was too much, waaaay too much. Why do these set back days happen? I was kinda hoping I was past them. It's like I'm blindsided when it happens. Bam! Out of no where. Yesterday (Sunday) I was hiking and being excited about starting my final month of Insanity. Today (Monday) I've gained weight, let a guy and members of my family get in my head, and allowed a plastic claw with numbers wipe out my self-esteem. What's worse, I'm super conscience of these days now. It's not like I'm blindly eating or lightly blowing off a workout, no, I'm well aware of what I'm doing, how it makes me feel both physically and psychologically, both amount to "I feel like poop on a stick". So, I'm gonna go to bed, get my act together, blow off what I did and didn't accomplish this evening (none of it good), and make a fresh start tomorrow. Sigh. Pffffft. Two thumbs down.

INSANITY Week 5

Recovery week over... It was a good workout, I sweated a little but wasn't whipped afterwards like the regular workouts. It was strange doing the same workout everyday. The Hip Flexor Burners were aptly named as in my hip flexors burned. I added the abs workout on to three days because someday I would like to have abs (insert disbelieving chuckle here). I am a little scared for what is about to come tonight with starting Month 2. I may pass out... or throw up... or want to quit... or just plain die. Who knows?? Stay tuned. If I die you may not have anything to read. If I live everything may be misspelled and blurred because I won't be able to lift my fingers. Hard to say. I'm ready to really sweat tonight and get that Easter dinner out of me. I have ham bloat today. It was so good, but I ate just a little too much as my body is informing me. But I love ham. It's so tasty. And I made a salad that was too die for. And don't get me started on the asparagus with cheese sauce. But I digress. Here are the stats for this week...

INSANITY Week 5

Weight: 178.4 (up 0.4 from last week, not surprising with Easter dinner and my inability to "maintain" my weight... If I'm not losing I'm gaining)
Measurements: Not until the end!! But I'm dying to...
Motivation: Leery and excited all in one fail swoop. Kinda crazy that I only have 4 weeks left!!
Strength: I feel pretty good. I had a bit of a back spasm last night (happens to me sometimes, weird, but it ain't much fun). Everything feels good and strong today and I'm ready to roll for tonight's Fit Test and workout. Bring it on Shaun T, BRING. IT. ON.

Low rise pants, popcorn, and lead feet.

1. I feel like low-rise pants are the most ridiculous thing out there meant to be as silly as gangsters wearing their pants around their knees. If I wanted to see early twenty something butt cracks seventy five times a day I would go to the beach. If I wanted my butt crack seen by the masses I would streak a college football game. I need something less silly to worry about besides doing a VERY unattractive dance to pull up my britches all day long. I'm not saying we all need to go back to wearing "mom" jeans, but isn't there a happy medium (rise).

2. I resent my calorie counter this week. Which is dumb. It's inanimate and only tells me what I tell it. It means no harm. It's honest, does it's job, never complains. I should probably give it a raise.

3. I have been super busy this week. I have been super restless this week. Like get in the car and not stop driving until I hit a border or an ocean and then make a turn and drive some more. I blame the full moon.

4. I really want to get my nails done. And my toes done. I need to feel girly for a minute instead of dirty... Or sweaty... Or dirty.

5. Whoever invented popcorn... Wait, whoever discovered popcorn, something a great pioneer accomplished, I would like to meet them and shake their hand (maybe kiss their feet) in my next life. After them, I'm moving onto the guy that first made beef jerky. And once I'm done thanking that dude I'm hitting up the brave soul that first dived into a beehive and brought out honey. They all deserve a little recognition.

6. I love my new workout shoes. They are light and comfy. They are funky and fun colors. They do make working out a little more fun.

7. It's Easter this weekend. Another food holiday. Wink, wink. I am excited not only for the real reason for this holiday but also for the resulting pig I'm going to consume. Ham is in my top ten list of favorite dinners.  It's a good gathering food, and we will be gathering.

8. My Ninja rocks. It gets my day going by blending my banana/hemp/almond milk confection. It pulses, it chops, it dices, it does my laundry, it throws Chinese stars, it has a black belt, it's going to make hummus this weekend. Not all of my previous statements are true.

9. I'm fighting off my feelings of restlessness for the weekend by keeping myself busy with spring projects... Rearranging my bedroom... Spring yard clean-up... Burn pile... Contemplating painting the workout room, but what color?? Wish me luck and lead feet to keep me anchored.

I was FAAAAAT!

Have you ever seen the movie 'In and Out'? It has Joan Cusack in it. She is nothing short of a hysterical, hold your sides, totally ridiculous kind of funny. The gist of her role is as the fiance of a teacher that gets outed by a former student accepting an Oscar on national television. They live in a small, rural community not yet exposed to something as "big city" as being gay. She lost a ton of weight for their wedding that ends up not happening at the alter because her fiance turns out to actually be gay. My favorite scene is towards the end of the movie. She is sitting in the middle of the street in her wedding dress pitching a world class fit. The former student finds her and asks what happened to her, referring to her being skinny, not referring to the obvious like how she ended up in the middle of the street in a wedding dress. She squawks, as only Joan Cusack could... "Well, I was FAAAAAAT". She sobs on about how she lost the weight for the wedding by rocking a Richard Simmons fitness program, but the one line that always sticks with me is the FAAAAT one.

Yesterday I had a fat day. It's so weird when it happens. Even though I'm losing weight, getting fitter, really working my nutrition, sometimes I feel like I still weigh 307lbs. It's bizarre. Almost like an out of body thing. My limbs feel heavy, my gut feels ginormous and in the way, basically I feel FAAAAAT! I don't know why those days happen. I always feel like the fat chic in the room to some degree, but the "fat days" are different. I don't do anything about them other than try not to eat my way through them. They haven't stopped me from working towards my goals... so far. Maybe I have days like that to remind me that I'm not quite there yet and I need to keep pushing. I don't know if I'll ever see myself as thin or fit, but even if my vision is blurred, I'm not gonna stop trying. I've come way to far to stop now. Fat day aside, I will not always be a fat chic. One day I will just be a Funny Chic.

Cold showers, not just for teenage boys anymore...

I read a lot. Always have. When I'm on a kick I read about what's kickin. So, for obvious reasons I have been reading a lot of weight loss oriented stuff. I have subscribed to several newsletters (shocking), bought several books (even more shocking), and do my fair share of GOOGLE searches (God bless the Internet). This next little tidbit came across from a newsletter run by a certified (for what it's worth) nutritionist and professional physical fitness trainer. WARNING... My next statement will lead to Google-ing. Apparently, NASA figured out that you can lose weight by taking cold showers. Or more specifically, alternating hot for 10 seconds and cold for 20 seconds for a total of 5 minutes. Now, I have an innate fear of being cold, so this approach doesn't really appeal to me. Like, I will do whatever it takes, wear whatever it takes, and huddle where ever I need to to stay warm. My shower knows no other setting other than all the way on hot and for as long as my hot water heater will hold out. But, according to the space cadets, messing with your thermo-regulation will accelerate weight loss, and by a pretty good percentage, something like 30% more fat loss if taking cold showers. I'm not a proponent of quick fixes, they are usually expensive, don't last, and aren't all that good for you. And I am speaking of all the fad diets, pill fixes, and anything that basically doesn't involve hard work and self control. But, I honestly can't come up with a downside of trying this other than getting cold, which like I said, is not my cup of tea. I liken it to magnet therapy, it may or may not do anything but it darn sure isn't going to hurt ya and may only cause slight and short-lived discomfort. So, who knows, maybe the guys over at NASA are onto something... Maybe there is a cold shower conspiracy... Maybe I should start reading about something else. I guess the moral of today's story is go have a cold one!!

Insanity: Week 4

I walked a little taller this week. Is it possible Insanity is improving my posture??? I think it may be improving my attitude. This was the end if month 1. I now have what they call a recovery week before starting month 2. You still workout, but I'm not sure what it's going to entail. Somehow I instinctively know Shaun T will find a way to make me sweat anyways. I'm excited and a little afraid of what month 2 will bring. I feel like the real work is about to ensue. As a reward for finishing the first month I did a little retail therapy. I scored a pair of size ten jeans that are what I want to comfortably wear by the end if this next month. I can get them on, but again, I don't feel they are fit for pubic viewing. By the way, I am happily rocking my 11's now, the real jean 11's, no lycra here! I also bought some funky fun workout shoes because everyone should feel funky and fun while working out. Plus, a couple pairs of workout pants WITH drawstring waists to avoid the embarrassing pants around the ankles scene that had become routine during my workouts. I polished off my "treat myself" weekend by taking the dogs for a long hike on Sunday. So, all in all a pretty good weekend after working hard all week. I feel like I completed my workouts proficiently and that I was keeping up for the most part with the people in the video. I'm still not sore at all which leads me to believe I should enjoy that feeling for a few more days before month 2 starts.  I picked out two women in the video I would like to look like. They aren't what I would describe as super skinny, but they are super fit and athletic looking. That's what I would like to be. If I don't get into my size 6 jeans that's ok (a bit of a waste, but ok), but I want to look fit, athletic, and healthy. Last time I was so skinny I ate next to nothing and ran 8+ miles a day and worked out on the other end of the day. I was exhausted all the time and thought of nothing else but staying skinny. I was miserable and obviously didn't maintain it. This time, I feel good, no, I feel great, I feel like I am building some manageable maintenance tools, and I've reached a place where I'm not miserable. Am I 24/7 happy, heck no, who is??, but I'm not killing myself to obtain my goals, I'm just working towards them, consistently.

Insanity: Week 4 Results

Weight: 178.0 (down 2.4 lbs)
Measurements: Not until the end
Motivation: Good! I'm looking forward to my recovery week and am excited to see what my results will be in the final month. I really want to measure myself, but I'm letting the anticipation keep driving me forward.
Strength Factor: Very good! I feel right as rain right now. I believe this might be the calm before the storm. I may feel like a pile if wet noodles after month 2 starts, only time will tell!

It's good to have goals.

My newest and most current goal is to not have to worry about sucking in my stomach all the time. I think, think, it's getting flatter, but I know it still has what looks like a deflated tire hanging off of it, so, here is me, sucking in my stomach. Now, this isn't the best example of a healthy, motivating goal, but what can I say, not every thought I have is a pure as the driven snow. Despite the off-handedness of my current goal, my heart is in the right place. It is good to have goals. They give you something to strive for. I have many... MANY... goals. Everything from my weight, to pants size, to number of burpees I can do in a minute (thanks to Insanity's Fit test, that ridiculous move is now a motivational goal in my life, who knew?), to emotional goals, and professional ones... the list goes on. What I am beating around the bush about is that if you don't set a destination in mind you won't be as driven as if you are just going through the motions for no apparent reason. Just doing your workouts so that you can say you did them isn't quite enough. I know, as if getting it done wasn't hard enough, now you have to try. I was feeling VERY lead footed the other night and I had to dig a little deeper to push myself through the workout and really get after it. When I was done, I was darn glad I did. I was flopping around, realized my stomach was flopping with me and I got my hiney in gear. See, my goal of not having a flopping stomach came in handy, just when I needed it. So, over the weekend I challenge all of you readers to set yourself some goals. Don't put unrealistic time lines on them, that is where goals get dangerous, when we make them unattainable, but do set some. Give yourself something to work towards. And when you reach them, REJOICE, CELEBRATE, TREAT YOURSELF TO SOME SKINNY JEANS AND CUTE SHOES. Ok, that's what I'm gonna do, what are you gonna do??

The Biggest Loser

Yesterday someone asked me if I saw the finale of The Biggest Loser. I hadn't, I don't watch the show. I have my reasons, and lucky you, you are about to get to hear them. It's gonna be my two cents worth, it's actually gonna be more like a buck fifty, but it's probably only worth two cents. Remember about slapping me if I get too self-righteous yesterday... That may become reality today.

First, I don't like reality tv. It's not worth me taking the time to watch tv for that kind of drivel. Biggest Loser is probably at the better end of all those shows, but I still feel like it is staged to large degree and just not worth me riding the couch to watch.

Secondly, I'm a little bitter that they have personal trainers and nutritionist that take all the thinking and planning it takes to lose weight out of the equation for them. Granted, they have to stand in their underwear and get weighed on national television, but I'd give anything for a nutritionist and personal trainer to make my journey a little smoother.

Third thing, I feel sorry for them because they have a personal trainer and nutritionist. Oh, the contradiction. A large percentage of these people go home and gain their weight back. My theory is that they take them out of their everyday environment, the place where they live "fat" lives, and they get them results in a foreign land filled with support teams, and send them back home without changing their "fat" place. They may learn that broccoli is better than a big mac, but they don't learn to change their everyday normal. They are basically at summer camp and then have to go back to reality. If you don't struggle through your day to day some and learn to handle your new habits in the same life you are bound to fail. There are triggers all over my life and in my home that make me want to overeat, but I've learned to manage them. Had I lost weight somewhere else and come back home, without all the professional support system that the contestants have become accustomed to, I promise I would gain it back too.

I don't want diminish what these people accomplish. Any major weightless requires blood, sweat, and tears. What they do and achieve is very commendable. I feel like the show sets them up for failure. There is so much more to losing weight than just cutting calories and exercising. At home is where your weight loss quest is won or lost, where you are accountable to yourself, not millions of viewers. Lying to yourself is easy, really easy, and the slope is slippery enough to slide right down. When there are no cameras or an audience to witness your back slide, it becomes pretty easy to do just that, back slide. Also, I feel like Jillian Michaels is evil, mean, and a poor motivator, just sayin. If I'm gonna watch a weight loss show I think it would be Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. He lives with them for the first part and gets them started and set up, builds them a home gym, stocks their fridge and then leaves them. He monitors them, comes for their weigh-ins and is available at the drop of a hat if they need him, but they have to do the work in their "fat" environment and change it to their "fit and healthy" environment. That's a better deal in my mind. So, kudos to the contestants of The Biggest Loser, and I truly hope they can keep it off, I'm just not gonna watch it.

Feel Free to Slap Me Silly

I saw one of those cartoon/saying/statement thingies on Facebook the other day that said "No one wants to hear about your workout unless you fell off the treadmill". I laughed. I LOL'd. I had myself a good chuckle. But then I got to thinking, "Am I turning into that person??". I know all of you that read this are reading because you want to, there is no proverbial gun being held to your heads. You can switch me off any time you want to. But in my everyday life, I sure hope I'm not turning into that person that incessantly talks about their workouts and their diet, etc. I think I try not to, but if you catch me on the street and I am dripping with self-righteousness and tales of how many one arm push-ups and burpees I did that day and all you asked me was "Hey, how's it going??", feel free to slap me right back into reality. I won't hit back, I promise.