I was FAAAAAT!

Have you ever seen the movie 'In and Out'? It has Joan Cusack in it. She is nothing short of a hysterical, hold your sides, totally ridiculous kind of funny. The gist of her role is as the fiance of a teacher that gets outed by a former student accepting an Oscar on national television. They live in a small, rural community not yet exposed to something as "big city" as being gay. She lost a ton of weight for their wedding that ends up not happening at the alter because her fiance turns out to actually be gay. My favorite scene is towards the end of the movie. She is sitting in the middle of the street in her wedding dress pitching a world class fit. The former student finds her and asks what happened to her, referring to her being skinny, not referring to the obvious like how she ended up in the middle of the street in a wedding dress. She squawks, as only Joan Cusack could... "Well, I was FAAAAAAT". She sobs on about how she lost the weight for the wedding by rocking a Richard Simmons fitness program, but the one line that always sticks with me is the FAAAAT one.

Yesterday I had a fat day. It's so weird when it happens. Even though I'm losing weight, getting fitter, really working my nutrition, sometimes I feel like I still weigh 307lbs. It's bizarre. Almost like an out of body thing. My limbs feel heavy, my gut feels ginormous and in the way, basically I feel FAAAAAT! I don't know why those days happen. I always feel like the fat chic in the room to some degree, but the "fat days" are different. I don't do anything about them other than try not to eat my way through them. They haven't stopped me from working towards my goals... so far. Maybe I have days like that to remind me that I'm not quite there yet and I need to keep pushing. I don't know if I'll ever see myself as thin or fit, but even if my vision is blurred, I'm not gonna stop trying. I've come way to far to stop now. Fat day aside, I will not always be a fat chic. One day I will just be a Funny Chic.