I wonder why...

I wonder why I eat so fast? I see other people eat. They go at it at a leisurely pace. Take in every bite one... at... a... time. They savor. They don't worry through their meal. They don't wonder if they are being judged for eating. They don't act like someone is about cut them off from their food. Me, I eat like every meal is my last. Sometimes if I'm by myself (often) I don't even bother to use a plate. I just eat outta the pan over the stove. I eat like someone that has been deprived of food. One look at me and that is clearly not the case. I eat like I'm late for something. And, honestly, a lot of times I am. But that still is no reason to rush eating. It keeps me from thinking, "gosh, I'm full", because I'm focused on getting as much down in as little of time as possible. I'm in a perpetual pie eating contest minus the pie. I eat like I am doing something shameful and I need to hurry and get it done. Everyone needs to eat, where is the shame in that? I have changed my eating habits in a lot of ways and am more conscious of what I put in my body. I just haven't changed the mechanism of how I get my food down me. I shouldn't feel shame anymore. But its there lurking around the corner. I love good food, food bursting with flavor. I feel like I am doing it an injustice by inhaling it when I eat. I wonder if the speed eating is linked to the fact that a portion of my diet is liquid. Maybe whole, real food is a treat. But wouldn't a normal person want to enjoy a treat. I think it's tied to the fact that I still need to make the "food is fuel" conversion. But enjoying cooking and making great meals aren't totally conducive to that mentality. Maybe this will fall somewhere under my 80/20 theory of being perfect 80% of the time and perfectly human 20% of the time. Who knows?? So, part of my weight loss project is to slooooow down a few notches and enjoy eating, recognize fullness, and do justice by my taste buds.