5 Reasons Why I shouldn't Go To The Gym

Some of this will be review. You have had some smidgens and tidbits as to why public workout facilities are not conducive to the entity which is Funny Fat Chic. I have had some instances at home that have further confirmed it is just better for everyone if I workout alone, in the confines of my own home, away from all other forms of life.

1. Sometimes my pants fall off. I am shaped weird. There are no two ways about it. The maternal side of my family basically have no hind ends unless we are morbidly obese. Essentially, the legs run straight into the back, no butts about it. Some of my workout clothes are getting a little loose (thank goodness). The combination results in me being in the middle of an intense set of jumping jacks with my yoga pants around my ankles. If I was at a gym, others would be exposed to things that they do not want to be exposed to.

2. I'm an ugly sweater. Not like what you where at Christmas, but one of those people that actually have buckets of fluid vacate their body during a workout, or a warm day, or a lengthy traffic light... it takes nothing for me to break a sweat. I turn an incredible shade of red and fluid is pouring out of me like a fire hose. I gushed so much sweat the other day that when I went down for a burpee I slipped in my own puddle of DNA and crashed to the floor, hard. If I were at a gym I believe it would pose a hazard to others, as in I would need to carry my own "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign.

3. I drink a lot of water, I pee a lot. Sorry, but the two go hand in hand. I aim for a gallon a day, sometimes I hit the mark, sometimes I don't. Yesterday, I was working out to Insanity, a relatively intense scenario, you are focused and moving hard, I nearly peed my pants. Let's just say there is a lot of jumping, there was cross legged, peepee dance-ish hit of the pause button, and a sprint to the bathroom. If I was at a gym, the bathroom could have been farther away, I could have peed my pants in front of people.

4. I am NOT coordinated. Like not at all. LIKE NOT AT ALL. So, me flopping around doing my thing is probably not visually stimulating or aesthetically pleasing to anyone, especially other gym goers.

5. I don't do public showers. That is all.