Everyone has their thing, for many people it's chocolate, others it's fast food, or a specific menu item of fast food, some people it's cereal. It's like a gateway drug, an alcoholic just having one drink. Never gonna happen. For me, it's popcorn. I have been eating the stuff on a regular basis for as long as my memory goes back. Watching tv, not that I do much of that these days is almost painful without a bowl of popcorn. And not just any popcorn will do. For instance, movie theater popcorn is not good quality stuff, just sayin. I prefer mine air popped and seasoned just so. There is such a thing as too much salt. So, where does this come from, this deeply resonating comfort food addiction?
Here is where I think mine comes from. I was by and far raised during my pre-teen years by my grandmother who is nothing short of an amazing cook. As well as she cooks, it doesn't hold a candle to her baking. Enter the start of my love affair with food in general. She worked as a baker at two restaurants when I was a kid. So, time was an issue. She would often have to pick me up from school, drop me at the sitters and run to her next job. Whenever we did have a moment of down time together we would watch a movie (usually a John Wayne one, because I loved them, not her) with popcorn (taco flavor was my favorite, still is). Of course my Gram spared no expense, it was real butter all the way. We even had a special popcorn bowl, a large stainless steel bowl. She still has that bowl. The air popper we had when I was a kid finally crapped out when I was in college, so we are onto a new one, I kinda miss the old one. I'm sure I ate more popcorn as a kid than was recommended on the national food pyramid, but it was ok, it was our time together. It was also a bandaid when things were rough. If I had a bad day at school, got called a fat kid again, or a bastard because I didn't have a Dad around, I'd have some popcorn when I got home. If it was really bad it was mac 'n cheese, but that's a whole other post. Gram was good at throwing food at emotion. It's what she was good at and had time for. There are worse ways to cope. To this day if I have a bad turn in life I spend a day on the couch watching John Wayne movies and, you guessed it, eating popcorn. Strange how those things from childhood stay with you, you always go back to them. When I walk into her house now I instantly want to eat, anything really, but especially popcorn.
I don't think that I will ever break my popcorn addiction. I'm not sure that I want to. It's an important part of my past, and my current. Understanding where it comes from helps me keep from giving into it constantly. Right now I have popcorn on Thursday night's when I watch my shows (Grey's Anatomy and Scandal if you were curious). It's my guilty pleasure and I'm keeping it.
P.S. My yoga pants fall off when I do jumping jacks. Kinda embarrassing and yet another reason why it's a good idea for me to workout alone.
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