Monday, February 4, 2013

My body fights dirty.

Today is Monday. Probably not news to you. What it means around my outfit is that it is weigh-in day. Yesterday was Sunday... Superbowl Sunday. Again, probably not news to you. What this means is that I ate some, as in I ate some more than I have been. My weigh-in was not a happy event. I was up 2 pounds. 2 f-ing pounds, pardon my language. I ate yesterday and it wasn't good for me food, it was wings, and a few bites of dip, and some onion rings, and a half of brownie I allowed myself, and a little bit of jello/cream cheese confection. I moderated myself for the most part but still hit the uncomfortable point, stupid, I know, and the rich food didn't agree with me because I haven't been eating like that at all. But, here is the thing... I have been EXTREMELY good. I have been working my hiney off in my workouts, really pushing it. I don't sit around the house at all at night, I ride 2 horses, I work out, I don't sit. I have been religious about my nutrition. This is my second gain week in a row. This is VERY discouraging to say the least. My body will do this, gain, gain, and then big lose. But this cycle is making me crazy, making me doubtful, and driving me crazy, did I mention that already??? My clothes fit fine, but I can't get rid of this relentless bit of gut in the front. I need something to switch things up and I just don't know what. I'm not sure how much more reading I can do about this. I'm doing all the right things, I drink TONS of water, I exercise 6-7 days a week (I mix cardio, plyo, yoga, and strength training), I eat vegetables and lean protein, nothing processed, nothing boxed, I track my calories, I try to get 8 hours of sleep, I TRY, I TRY, I TRY. This a dirty rotten deal that my body has stopped responding. Everyone tells me I look great, and I do, comparatively. But if I walked into a gym and had a trainer evaluate me right now they would tell me I need to lose 50lbs, not 30 (ok, 31 with today's weigh-in) like my goal and they would affirm my "I'm fat" sign I'm wearing around my neck these days. It's put me at a desperate point. The commercials for fad stuff are starting to sound good. I won't do them because they are expensive and aren't sustainable, but for crying out loud!!! What the heck do I need to change to get some change in the right direction??? I don't have the answer, but it is my new quest to find out, because one cheat day should not upset all the hard work I have put in, that just can't be true, it's not true for everyone else, it can't be true for me.

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