I have been burning the candle at both ends. This is a regular problem for me. I like to be busy. I do better when I am busy. But sometimes it catches up with me. Today I did not have a killer T25 workout. I have felt like I was dragging all day long. I missed a couple reps of each exercise because I just didn't get transitioned fast enough. I didn't keep pace with Shaun T step for step. I am going to yoga again tonight (3rd day in a row) because I am going to be gone this weekend and it is the last day this week I will be able to. But, yoga makes me tired too. I think because it mentally exhausts me. Last night was the first night that I was able to focus enough on myself that I noticed my heart beat after some of the poses. Like, my heart rate really elevates during some of them. All I'm doing is holding myself still in positions. Crazy stuff. So, I am at a crossroads where I am either going to give in to being tired or decide it is all in my head and forge on. Giving in isn't really an option right now, so forge on it is! I do think that some kind of change is going to have to be on the horizon. My school load this term is a lot. My homework is A LOT. I am becoming a boring stick in the mud. I don't like that. My three jobs plus the photography is also a lot. I have stressed about this for a couple weeks, but I think that I am going to have to let my job at the winery go. I love and cherish my boss there and I really don't want to let her down. The winery job is fun (most of the time) but it is not helping me work toward any of my career or financial goals. I could really use the extra time for school. I'm certain it will be the best thing to do, but I really feel bad doing it. I hate to let people down. I am a people pleaser at heart. I will do anything for anyone for a pat on the back. I hope that my boss understands that. But, I don't want to give up and sacrifice my big goals for a little bit of a fun job one day a week. I need to get a little pep back in my step partially to overcome this nagging back thing and because I am a pep-in-my-step kind of gal, not a stick-in-the-mud kind of dud. Hopefully, after I talk with my boss tomorrow, my mind will be at ease a little. It's been wrestling itself for the better part of two weeks. I'll let you know. Until then, I'm gonna go find a happy place at yoga tonight and get my sweat on. Again.
P.S. There was an actual Indian person in my class last night. Dot not feather. Before you stone me for being racist, know that I am not, I have just grown up in the great Northwest where 97% of the population is white. I now live in Idaho where you can bump that percentage to 99%. Shoot me for noticing that there was someone of a different ethnicity in my class. The point of me mentioning this is that he didn't make it through the class. A) That's ok, it's a hot room and your first few times it takes a lot of will power to stay in there. B) I mainly noticed this guy because he was right next to me and he was VERY wiggly during the times that you are supposed to be still. I chalked it up to nerves due to it being one of his first classes. C) I did better than someone from India, the birth place of yoga and humidity. Boom. Told you I was competitive.
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