Almost there...

Something cool happened this morning. I could get into my next 1st pair of cute jeans. Let's define "get into". I got them on and buttoned and zipped with a little bit of shimmying, but nothing drastic. But, and this is the important part, they were tight enough that they made my middle spare tire bulge out more than it already does. They would have been uncomfortable to sit in. So, I passed on them for this weekend's trip out of town. With some hard work I bet they will be just right in a few weeks. I hung them over a door in my workout room as motivation. 

Speaking of motivation, I ran short on it this morning. It was doubles today and I didn't make it all the way through the second workout. I don't do well with first thing in the morning workouts. I run out of steam. Which doesn't make sense. I just woke up, I should be rested and ready to go. I have been in a perpetual state of soreness all week as well, I'm sure from starting a new round of T25. I'm not sweating this failure. My form was getting really bad and I'm sure I was setting myself up to hurt myself. So, I'm gonna take my workout and a half and my almost fitting jeans and go have myself a good weekend. I hope you do too!!!

I'm NOT a scientist!

I hope that any and all advice that you might glean from me on this blog is taken with a HUGE grain of salt... and tequila... and a wedge of lemon... or lime. I am not an expert in anything. I am not a nutritionist. I am just a person that has gained and lost a lot of weight in their life and apparently feels that need to talk about it.

Having said that lovely disclaimer, I tried a little experiment that last couple of weeks.

When you are on the weight loss/quest for healthiness path, you tend to gravitate towards reading all sorts of health/fitness/nutrition articles. There is an endless supply of them. You can find an article to justify just about any kind of diet plan, any kind of fitness plan, any kind of supplement, any kind of anything. It's up to your gut (get it?) or more commonly known as common sense to decipher through the mess. And what works for you might not work for someone else. We are all individuals, bottom line. But, I've gotten a little off track.

Raise your hand if you like asparagus. My hand shot right up! It is hands-down one of my favorite vegetables. I could eat it every day. Except for one tiny detail. It makes my pee stink. If this is a topic that bothers you, I would stop reading here. Come back another day. Today is stinky pee day. The effect is almost instantaneous! Asparagus is coming into season around here so I have several bundles of spears in the fridge. My favorite way to have them is baked asparagus fries, but for the sake of time, I usually just roast them in the oven while I'm out doing chores or something. This asparagus pee phenomenon had me perplexed. So, like any red-blooded, curious American, I Googled it. It has something to do with the sulfurous amino acid breakdown and it is activated within 15 minutes of consumption. But, here is the kicker. Only 25% of people have the ability to smell it. All people pee stinky afterwards but not everyone knows they are committing such a foul act. God Bless my sensitive sniffer. My Google search lead to other foods that affect the smell of bodily fluids. Pineapple for instance has a sweetening effect. It makes everything smell great. Three times over the past two weeks I have had asparagus for dinner and then I ate some fresh cut pineapple for dessert. Guess what?!?!?!?!? You are never gonna guess what. I'll just tell you. They cancel each other out!!! Yep, the pineapple neutralizes the asparagus. I have not found an article to support this theory for a couple of reasons. Mainly, I don't have the time to search stuff forever. Secondly, there may not be a pressing need for this type of research. So, consider this the latest test case in nutrition weirdo facts. If you don't want asparagus pee your options are to A) Not eat asparagus, or B) Back up your asparagus consumption with some delightful pineapple. Best of both worlds!!

I apologize for being a little gross. But there are some things I can't keep to myself.

You'll never guess...

Guess what happened to day!?!?!?

You'll never guess what happened today.

But really, guess what happened today?!?!?!?

Oh, geez, you'll never guess what happened, I'll just tell you.

Remember a month or more ago when I went to the Buckle for the first time. I bought a shirt there, not the one the sales girl wanted me to buy, but one that I could afford and thought was pretty and secretly hoped would fit me when I got home. It didn't. In case you didn't know, that is a fat kid thing. We don't try on clothes in a store. Or at least I don't. There is nothing like a public display of your self-esteem deflating when something doesn't fit. So, at the Buckle I bought the biggest size they have (XL) and rolled on. I tried it on at home a couple weeks later, it didn't fit. It was too tight in the arms and wouldn't fall flat over my gut. It is a pretty open front cardigan that is my favorite color of coral and has lace panels. It's girly and covers my butt, so of course I love it.

Well, today, it fit JUST RIGHT!! I want you all to be aware that this is the first article of clothing that I have worn in long time that doesn't have a number in front of the X. Not even a 1. There is a definite difference between a 1XL and an XL. A sick, twisted, mind effing difference. So, I totally know that sizes run differently in every brand. I know that it was an open front shirt. I know that it probably isn't a huge deal. But it is a HUGE deal to me!!! I needed a little sign of progress. At least in the clothing department. My pants are big, but I am still wearing the same ones. My shirts are big, but I am still wearing the same ones. I just needed a little gauge to tell me that I was winning the war somewhere on my body besides in my bra. My chest cannot get any smaller without me having a minor (by minor, I mean major) meltdown.

Speaking of the war, it is a full on battle with Shaun T right now. This Gamma round kicks ass, and kicks my ass! I love, love, love the weights he has incorporated. Tonia threw me a bone the last two days and modified, although I didn't need her very often. That Speed 3.0 where she went all out was brutal. The burpees are in full force in every video. My goal is to be able to keep my legs together when I come back up to the standing position. Right now they still spread when I try to get vertical. The only way to fix that is to keep doing them. My other really weak point is my triceps. I'm not certain that I have any. I definitely don't have ones that can support my body weight for more than 3 reps. I'm glad that this round has shown me some things to work on and strive for. Keeping my workout fresh is what brings me back to do it the next day. I'm gonna keep on keeping on until there isn't an X in front of my L.

Uh-oh

Soooooo, yesterday was a rough day for the Hot Yoga community. Apparently the dude that started hot yoga (Bikram Choudhury, 69) has a few not-so-awesome sexual assault lawsuits pending against him. I feel like him and Bill Cosby might be holed up somewhere in L.A. swapping stories over a pair of overpriced green tea lattes. If you are interested in reading one of the many articles out there, here is a link...

http://newsfeed.gawker.com/bikram-yoga-falling-apart-under-sexual-assault-claims-a-1687553308

Now, I am a huge proponent of being educated about things that I participate in, things I put in my body, and things that I put on my body. I already knew that the 26 pose series that is the foundation of hot yoga was founded by Bikram Choudhury. I already knew he was kinda an arrogant prick, as many self-made people can be. But, in order to sell people on something as crazy as doing yoga in a 104 degree, humid room, you are going to need to exude a pretty high level of self-confidence. I have no idea if there is any merit to the accusations, but I would guess that something inappropriate happened for this ball to get rolling. Plus, let's look at a few pictures of the dude... Tell me that the word "CREEPY" doesn't come to mind.


This is the picture that you of Bikram Choudhury at almost every hot yoga studio. It is the final pose of the 26 series and it was taken back in the day when Bikram either possessed all of his own hair or wore a rug with extremely strong glue.




This is Bikram now.



This is another more recent picture of Bikram donning one of the famous black speedos that dudes are so very partial to when they do hot yoga.




My conclusions are this... Just because this guy has been accused and maybe even did some very naughty, and morally wrong things, doesn't mean that hot yoga is bad. I would be willing to guess that there will be a trend of people dropping the Bikram portion of their name from their yoga studios. And, rightfully so. People will jump ship on supporting and promoting him, but hot yoga will persevere because I have personally experienced the fact that there is most certainly benefits to it. Beach Body (especially Tony Horton's) programs involve yoga quite often. As a matter of fact, here is a link to Tony's daily 20 minute routine...

http://www.beachbody.com/beachbodyblog/fitness/yoga-and-pilates/tony-hortons-daily-yoga-routine?code=SOCIAL_BB_BLOG&linkId=12525920

Flexibility is an important component of your fitness. Yoga is an effective way to achieve it. So, I am not abandoning it. I am also not going to sign up to go to Bikram's yoga teacher school. I am also going to have a hard time burning the above images out of my brain any time soon. Bald and a bun does not inspire confidence in me, it is more of disturbing distraction.

The Hangover

I don't want the title to this post to mislead you into thinking that I married a stripper in Vegas, or woke up with a tattoo on my face, or met John Goodman over the weekend. This post will actually be a lot more boring than that. The title is my cheap attempt at getting you to read my posts. Call it false advertising. Or a graceful misrepresentation if you are feeling charitable.

My hangover falls squarely under the "I ate too much" over the weekend category. Either I am getting old, or I don't have my body trained for that kind of consumption right now, or I just plain old done myself wrong. My BFF's birthday was on Saturday and we hosted a shindig to celebrate her being awesome and our being lucky enough to have her in our lives. We (my BFF and I) have a thing for tacos. Basically tacos of ANY kind. So, of course, it was a taco party. I cooked for a good portion of the day which basically can be equated to all day grazing. There is spoon licking, taste testing, and bowl licking. Then, I went ahead and ate dinner with everyone as well. I kept it to two tacos and I tried to avoid the super naughty stuff. But it is possible that I consumed my weight in guacamole. I LOVE all things avocado. Especially guacamole. I topped off all the food with a few beers to keep with the party spirit.

Fast forward to the next two days. I felt (still kinda feel) like crap. There is no other poetic way to put it. It's not the same as an alcohol hangover by any means. I could raise my head above my chest without a pounding headache. I could tolerate loud noises. I just felt icky inside. Just goes to show you that there is more than one way to make yourself sick. At the time, I thought I was doing ok, but if I really add up what I consumed, I'm sure I over did it. I hate that I have to be so careful. There was a time I could have knocked out a fiesta, pounded more than my fair share of tacos, and been ready to have them again for breakfast. This is horse $#I%. Just sayin. I have drank a TON of water to make up for it yesterday and today, I started T25 Gamma, and I did yoga at home. I do feel a little better tonight. I have another big weekend next weekend that involves Basque food, a horse sale, breakfast at The Griddle (a place best experienced, not described), and the greatest bloody mary's on the planet. So, I'm gonna have to guess that I am gonna feel like crap after next weekend too. I truly thought I was moderating, but I better give it a little better effort next weekend. Apparently clean eating does have a downside, you have no tolerance for dirty eating. I am just assuming the opposite of clean eating is dirty.

The feeling like crap is not deterring the fact that I really, really want popcorn. RIGHT NOW. I haven't had it in months. For those of you new to the blog, I have a popcorn addiction. I could eat it for dinner every night of the week and twice on Sundays. There is none in the house and I have already removed my bra for the day, so hopefully this craving passes by the time I presentable again tomorrow.

On a T25 note... I started Gamma round today. The first workout was Speed 3.0. I was NOT fully prepared for this workout. First of all, Tonia is not modifying at all. And she is a machine! A super freak! Holy cow!! I could have sworn that this video was on fast-forward. There was a lot of burpee related moves and I am not at a point where I can SNAP back up from the floor as fast as those crazy fit super freaks were able to. I missed some reps of stuff and I was pretty maxed out by the last round. If this is what Gamma has to offer, I may be in a little bit of trouble.

Yoga at home was ok. I purchased a CD that gives you the same basic script that they do in the studio. Plus, no mirrors. Minus, I can't get my house as hot as the studio. Plus, less insecurities about what people are thinking about me. Minus, no one to hold me accountable in my postures. I did feel my spine loosen up which was great because I hadn't been to yoga since Tuesday last week. At home was not perfect, but I am guessing it is better than nothing. And my current schedule was not gonna allow for me to drive my happy butt all the way to Boise and back. I did purchase more classes for yoga. I have every intention of continuing to go to the studio when I can squeeze it in. I am getting more and more convinced that there are some major benefits to this yoga thing. That, and I still wanna look like a gazelle.

A list...

I love that you guys are responding to posts and questions that I ask! Thank you for being engaged!!! Not engaged to me, but involved in the blog. I'm never gettin engaged, it's written in stone somewhere. I also have friends sending me awesome little pick-me-up sayings, motivational memes, and great information! For instance, I got tagged in the following picture today. I loved it, it is a good gut check. Let's go through it and see how I am doing...

#1 Consistency. We talked a little about this yesterday. I am definitely being consistent right now. I'm a machine. But it is the maintenance consistency I struggle with. I'm sure I won't have to worry about that for another 3 years at the rate I am losing. But it is a bridge I am going to have to cross a looooong way down this road. 

#2 Keep track. Yep, fail. Epic fail. I'm not measuring and I'm not weighing. Since this is an honesty zone, I'll tell you why. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid the numbers are going to be so high it will depress me and I will quit. I don't want to know the number. I know it is too high; for now, that's all I need to know. 

#3 Strengthen Your Core. T25 is all about the core. It's worked into every workout and several workouts are core only. Although my heart rate elevates enough that I think Shaun T is sneaking in cardio on me too. I'm just guessing, but I bet yoga is also addressing my core. Just a guess. I thought the back pain thing was interesting. I would say that my core still needs a significant amount of work. I still can't do boy push-ups, that has always been my core gut check in the past. Not there yet, not even close. I'm knees down all the way right now. 

#4 Lift Weights. I 💛💛💛 resistance training. Lifting weights is my reward for doing cardio. There is lots of body weight resistance in T25 plus I have started adding on a little more from my Big Book of Exercises. Check, and check. I love the definition that comes from weight training. I am quite certain that under all my flab I am VERY well defined. 

#5 Don't Compare Yourself To Other People. Boy, this is getting to be a lot like beating a dead horse. Focus on progress and not on comparing yourself to the gazelle floating through yoga class. Maybe she has to take Zoloft to be happy, who knows. Maybe she has a terrible car insurance rate. Maybe she has 7 toes on her left foot. None of those are problems I have, I'm just chubby. 

#6 Get a Work Out Buddy. I'm wishy washy on this one. My schedule is weird. Everyone these days is busy. I pair up with Mom at yoga. I get some of the girls to tag along sometimes. I actually like working out alone, I stay accountable (so far) and I push myself. So, let's just say  riding the fence on this one. 

#7 Practice Yoga. Done and done. I am getting it in my schedule as much as I possibly can. I am seeing a difference in my flexibility. My strength and weight loss are to be determined. My "centered-ness" is variable from day to day. What can I say, I am a fly in a lampshade. 

#8 Follow a Well Rounded Routine. I'm letting Beach Body and Shaun T figure this part out for me. They know what they are doing. And, I'm feeling very round, so they must be good at their job. Read that last line with just a hint of sarcasm. 

#9 Be Patient. Epic fail. I have none. I want this weight gone yesterday. No, I want it gone a month ago. Scratch that, I want it gone 20 years ago. I guess we found one I really need to work on. 

#10 Just Get Moving. Well, I'm a movin and a shakin and a jiggling and a wiggling. Done and done. 

I'll resist my urge to grade myself on how I am doing on this list. But, I would at least say I am trying on about 80% of these which is better than a poke in the nose. 

On an unrelated note, I have given up Subway for Lent. I have basically given up everything else naughty in the food department, so, this is what was left. I decided that giving up Subway would A) eliminate the last little bit of bread left in my life and, B) it would keep me accountable for eating a clean lunch the two days a week I have school. No more convenience eating. They also have some new hires at the Subway I go to and they have been effing up my sandwiches, so what better time to give up a vice. 

One more unrelated note. I crossed my legs while sitting today. Mind you it was a very comfortable, laid back chair and I had to do a touch of contorting to make it happen, but that is progress compared to last week. Whether that is a testament to my increasing flexibility or a decrease in the size of my thighs, I am not sure, but I'll take it. Again, it is better than a pole in the nose. 

Compression Pants

Ok, so what gives?? I am seeing compression pants everywhere. For sale, on people, athletes on TV wear them, on the floor in the yoga locker room, everywhere. Of course I notice them on the floor at yoga because that is the only place I can look when I am in a locker room. What do they do?? Is there any chance that they will "compress" the rest of the weight off of me? Because if so, by golly I'll go buy some. They appear to be all the rage and are potentially going to replace yoga pants in the trendy world. So, I'm just curious what makes them so awesome. You know, before I go invest $45+ dollars on them. Will I feel tighter in them? 'Cause I will do anything to feel less jiggly right now. I noticed this morning that my sides jiggle when I'm putting on deodorant. I can't even catch a break when I'm putting on deodorant. Sheesh. Which will mean I have to buy a compression shirt too. Do they even makes those? Or is that what Spanx are? I have those. I hate those. I asked my BFF what compression pants are for, she said "athletes." I asked if I was athlete enough to wear them. After a pregnant pause she replied a very sketchy, "Oh, yeah." That's what I love about my BFF, she maintains the appropriate amount of sarcasm in her tone so that even when she is lying to me, I still get the message.

Sitting on the floor in yoga last night I wished I could just slice off everything that resided outside of my arms. It is just a pile of flub surrounding me, I just want it gone. Needless to say, I wasn't havin my best yoga night last night. It was my second day of no anti-inflammatories. I could feel it. It was the second set of each pose before I could get all the way into them. They say that though, you are gonna have good days and bad days in yoga. No two ways about it. And, bottom line, it probably is all in your head. My Canadian BFF (that's right, I'm an international sensation) made fun of me for mentioning that I was being competitive in yoga. She is not wrong for laughing at me. But I just can't help it. I hate to fail at anything. I equally hate to not be the best at anything. I know that just by going I am not failing. But that is the kind of thinking that led to keeping NO score in T-ball. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Sports keep score!!! So for me to have to admit that my back is limiting me, or that I can't actually do some of the poses KILLS ME!!! And irritates me. And makes me try harder. So, whatever motivates you, just roll with it.

Today... I banged out doubles for T25. What? But it's not Friday, Funny Fat Chic. Nope, sure isn't. But, I have a full work day on Friday and I am road tripping after work to go spend my (American) BFF's birthday with her. I refuse to get up at 4:30 AM just to get my workouts in. I gotta draw the line somewhere. So, doubles today and a single on Friday. I'm a planner like that. A weird, anal, neurotic planner. I killed my workouts today. Even though I wasn't feelin yoga last night, it must have done me some good because I felt much better today. I pushed, I sweated, and as Shaun T says, I nailed it. Boom.

Speaking of Shaun T, new podcast this week. He interviewed Chili from TLC. "Don't go chasing waterfalls." Holler back 1995!!! She talked about how she has maintained her weight. Consistency. Bottom line. Her eating is a lifestyle choice. It has its guilty pleasures, but consistency is key. Yo-yoing up and down isn't healthy for you according to Chili.... And a whole bunch of experts, actually. So, there is a new goal for me. To remain consistent after I reach my goals. Lifestyle. It is the biggest weight loss buzzword of this decade. But there just might be something to it. Consistent lifestyle. New mantra. She also spoke about comparing yourself to others and how that was a dangerous path to go down. Remember "Comparison is the thief of joy."???? Well, here it is again. She talked about how different her body type was to her sisters and how one of them could gracefully carry extra weight while the other couldn't. She talked about how you had to be true to your body, dress yourself to accentuate the good parts, not highlight the bad. Stuff like that. Stuff that should be a no brainer, I don't know about you guys, but I have to be reminded from time to time. I'm not saying that her celebrity status makes her an expert, but she is a woman, and one that has to look good more often than not because she is in the public eye (or at least was in 1995). So, I'm inclined to give her a listen. And I'm inclined to make myself a new Pandora station featuring, you guessed it, TLC.

Happy Hump Day!! Don't steal your own joy today. Or tomorrow. Drink your water. Bust your butt. Eat clean. That is all. Over and out.

P.S. If you have an opinion on compression pants or actually know what they are I would love to hear it. That is all for reals, not for fakes, this time.

Tired... It's all in your head.

I have been burning the candle at both ends. This is a regular problem for me. I like to be busy. I do better when I am busy. But sometimes it catches up with me. Today I did not have a killer T25 workout. I have felt like I was dragging all day long. I missed a couple reps of each exercise because I just didn't get transitioned fast enough. I didn't keep pace with Shaun T step for step. I am going to yoga again tonight (3rd day in a row) because I am going to be gone this weekend and it is the last day this week I will be able to. But, yoga makes me tired too. I think because it mentally exhausts me. Last night was the first night that I was able to focus enough on myself that I noticed my heart beat after some of the poses. Like, my heart rate really elevates during some of them. All I'm doing is holding myself still in positions. Crazy stuff. So, I am at a crossroads where I am either going to give in to being tired or decide it is all in my head and forge on. Giving in isn't really an option right now, so forge on it is! I do think that some kind of change is going to have to be on the horizon. My school load this term is a lot. My homework is A LOT. I am becoming a boring stick in the mud. I don't like that. My three jobs plus the photography is also a lot. I have stressed about this for a couple weeks, but I think that I am going to have to let my job at the winery go. I love and cherish my boss there and I really don't want to let her down. The winery job is fun (most of the time) but it is not helping me work toward any of my career or financial goals. I could really use the extra time for school. I'm certain it will be the best thing to do, but I really feel bad doing it. I hate to let people down. I am a people pleaser at heart. I will do anything for anyone for a pat on the back. I hope that my boss understands that. But, I don't want to give up and sacrifice my big goals for a little bit of a fun job one day a week. I need to get a little pep back in my step partially to overcome this nagging back thing and because I am a pep-in-my-step kind of gal, not a stick-in-the-mud kind of dud. Hopefully, after I talk with my boss tomorrow, my mind will be at ease a little. It's been wrestling itself for the better part of two weeks. I'll let you know. Until then, I'm gonna go find a happy place at yoga tonight and get my sweat on. Again.

P.S. There was an actual Indian person in my class last night. Dot not feather. Before you stone me for being racist, know that I am not, I have just grown up in the great Northwest where 97% of the population is white. I now live in Idaho where you can bump that percentage to 99%. Shoot me for noticing that there was someone of a different ethnicity in my class. The point of me mentioning this is that he didn't make it through the class. A) That's ok, it's a hot room and your first few times it takes a lot of will power to stay in there. B) I mainly noticed this guy because he was right next to me and he was VERY wiggly during the times that you are supposed to be still. I chalked it up to nerves due to it being one of his first classes. C) I did better than someone from India, the birth place of yoga and humidity. Boom. Told you I was competitive.

Compliments, Pain Meds, and What is Healthy???

Happy Sunday!

Weekend recap. I woke up Saturday morning at about 5 AM with my back absolutely screaming. I would like to make a statement. I am physically tough. I'm not bragging, I swear, but I make it a point to be tough. I have a relatively high pain tolerance. So for me to even mention my back pain is really saying something. I had every intentions of going to yoga. Not happening with what I had going on. I finally conceded and took some pain meds with my anti-inflammatories. Here is something else you should know. I HATE taking pills of any kind. I don't like taking Advil. I don't take vitamins. I don't really go to the doctor because I have been blessed with good health thus far, so no need for meds. I don't get headaches. I avoid cold medicine. I HATE taking pills. So, for me to break down and take some meds was a big deal. I curled up on the couch with my wiener dog and bided my time until the meds kicked in. By 11am, some magic happened. Things had subsided to a dull ache in my back which was hardly noticeable for me. Whatever nerve pain cycle I had going on was broken. Thank goodness. I decided later in the afternoon that some stretching would be good so I did an at home yoga video and I felt good enough after to make up my Friday work outs. Smart idea? I don't know. But what I do know is I am afraid to not exercise. If I really think back as to why I started to gain weight again, it began with a back-isode that I parlayed into a break in training and things snowballed from there. So, here I am, determined to not take a break. It may end up being a mistake or I may tough my way through this and be better for it. Only time will tell. I am still thinking I might go see a chiropractor. But that is pretty close to a doctor and, well, you get the idea. Anyways, Saturday night I could feel a little tension, but noting to write home about. I got up this am and did the pain meds one more time and then tootled off to hot yoga. It felt really, really good. I could really feel my back stretching, my vertebrae relaxing and compressing, my muscles letting out tension. I am very happy I went this morning. I am going to try to fit hot yoga in my schedule again tomorrow. I'm certain that as long as I'm not in the fetal position, the yoga has to be good for my spine. So, even though I had to do something I hate to do, in the end, I think I did myself a favor. 

One of my girly-friends came with Mom and I to yoga this morning and we dived into an interesting topic of conversation on the way home. I keep saying that my quest is to be healthy. Part of that is being at a healthy weight. But, and this is a big but, does being skinny automatically mean you are healthy??? The answer is a resounding HECK NO. I can think of plenty of people that are skinny and have health problems. I can think of plenty of people that are skinny and are garbage guts. I can think of plenty of people that are skinny that haven't raised their heart rate with any kind of physical activity in years. By any of those standards, I have skinny people beat any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Welcome to the great wide world of genetic differences. So, yes, a healthy weight is a part of it, but it is just one piece of the puzzle. We should celebrate those good (no GREAT) habits that we have. Don't just beat ourselves up for not being skinny. Be proud and beautiful at every weight. Easy to say, hard to do. But try. I'm gonna try. 

This kinda transitions in to my final topic. I cannot take a compliment gracefully to save my life. I don't really do anything gracefully. Certainly not dance, definitely not run, and most certainly not take a compliment with any iota of grace. I had someone who hadn't seen me in about a month tell me I was looking good and she was proud of how I going about losing the weight. I can barely muster a thank you response. Why? What gives? There is a good chance that I disagree about how I look and there is an even better chance that I don't think I deserve the praise. That's dumb. Weight loss, no weight loss, I am making a decent effort. If someone notices then it might just possibly mean I am getting results. Thank you low self-esteem for stealing my thunder. Not cool. Something else for me to work on.

Have a great Monday everyone. I am keeping my fingers crossed that me and my back wake up happy and ready to go in the morning. Mind and body strong, Grasshopper (forgive my occasional '80's reference).

Finally Friday

It has been a long week for me. I am much better today. Two days of anti-inflammatories has relieved some of the nerves firing in my back. I can walk and stand up without wanting to pee my pants, so bonus. I made a command decision to take the day off from working out. Getting after it today with a double work outright just lay me out for the weekend or worse. Plus, it is Friday the 13th and I am just superstitious enough to believe that if anything was gonna go wrong with me it would happen today. I am going to try doin my T25 after hot yoga tomorrow. I should be good a loose and free by then. So that is the long and the short of my recent drama. Physically, marginally better; mentally, a lot better.

I thought maybe I would wrap the week up by telling you about some products and things that I love. You know, health wise. We won't get into my boot or turquoise addictions. A Friday list, if you will. 

1) PB2. This is great stuff. My BFF turned me on to it and now I keep a jar (or two) on the shelf all the time. It is powdered peanut butter. They do something to it to remove 85% of the fat calories. You can do all kinds of things with it. I have used it to make peanut sauce for Thai food. Excellent idea. But, I mostly use it in my breakfast shake every so often to change up the flavor.
 

2) Speaking of breakfast shakes... Hemp Protein Powder. Excellent source of plant protein. Gluten free. Dairy free. Nothin but hemp. Add a banana and some almond milk, delicious. Add some cinnamon to that, tastes like a snicker doodle. Throw in some PB2, and it's a party.
 

3) T25. This is a duh. I love the workouts. I love Shaun T. I love the podcast, Define Your Life. Love it all. I just received Gamma round in the mail today. I only have another Beta week to go before I get to switch to Gamma. Exciting!!
 

4) Women's Health Big Book of Exercises. This is my resistance training book. The entire thing is pictures and descriptions of different exercises. The end portion of it is idiot proof work outs with page number references to the exercises. It has work outs for losing weight, 15 minute work outs, several different training modes, and even a body weight only set of work outs. Handy tool.
 

5) SIGG steel water bottles. I have two now. I don't even know what I ever did without them. I drink no less than 4L of water a day. My bottles are a liter each. I have a minor freak out if they aren't within my reach for more than 5 minutes. Just ask my yoga girlfriends, I wigged out in the car the other night. They are as big a part of me as my phone, or my spoon rings I never take off, or my wild curly hair.
 

6) Hot Yoga. This is a love/hate thing. I think it has infinite benefits, especially if you can go daily. My Mom has already made HUGE strides in the 20 days she has been going. HUGE. It is hard on my mind. I'm hoping tomorrow it will be helpful with my back. I wish it was closer to my home. We have to drive almost an hour to get to the studio. Like I said, love/hate.

7) New socks. I don't what it is about new socks, but they can bring sunshine to darkest of days. They feel so delightful on my feet. There is nothing like the feel of new socks before they have been washed for the first time. I can jump higher, run faster, stop speeding bullets, you know the drill. New socks are AWESOME (say it really fast with extra emphasis on the SOME).
 

8) Readers of The Final Fifty. That's right, I love you guys. The support and kind words that I get from you guys is awesome, and motivating, and empowering. I promise I'm not reaching out for sympathy on the bad days, I made a promise to myself that if the blog was gonna be honest I would have to report the good and the bad. I know for a fact I am not the only one that goes through ups and downs. Weight loss is hard. Making changes is hard. Being human is hard. Even yesterday, I got a range of messages from you guys that went from friends checking in on me, to funny cartoons that made me laugh, and people from my past that are health/life coaches offering support and advice. I cherish them all. You guys rock!!! 

That's my finally Friday list. On a side note, I'm thinking about buying a FitBit. I would love to hear from those of you that have them. Pluses, minuses, what do you love/hate about them??? Have a great weekend! Enjoy the unseasonably nice weather wherever you are, and get out and move a little!

P.S. Drink your water. Maybe even treat yourself to a new water bottle.

Unraveled

My theme for yesterday was unraveled. The start of my day was great. I felt good, felt good about myself, I even caught myself skipping down the stairs at work. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, it was sunshine and roses. Fast forward to the end of the day, I'm curled up in a ball on the couch and I want to cry. I'm not crying, but I want to. What happened in between?

I came unraveled. It started with me hauling 30 cases of wine upstairs at my winery job. I was feeling strong and spry so I figured no big deal, I won't be bored, and it is extra exercise. Bonus. By the end I could feel the nerves firing off in my lower back. I ignored them and decided all my recent fitness would prevent me from having an episode. Then, I noticed that my super cute tunic that I had on had snagged on something at my left shoulder and was slowly unraveling. No Bueno. It was a really cute, made me feel pretty kind of shirt. Every girl needs one of those. Every girl need ten of those.  By the time I left work my back was super tight and it was creeping up into a mild headache. I still ignored it. I had chores to do and 15 minutes to get to Bunco. I raced home, pulled off my damaged shirt and tried to find something else to wear without having to change everything. I had on some jeggings and cowboy boots. Last month I couldn't wear the jeggings. They fit just fine now, but they aren't so big that I can pull them up over my middle roll to hide it like I can all my other leggings and jeans. So, every dang shirt I put on proudly highlighted my middle roll. Which in my mind, should be non-existent by now. This whole scene rapidly downward spiraled into me thinking that I have not lost a single ounce and I am going to be a big ole cow for the rest of eternity. Not the greatest mindset before you head to a social outing with a bunch of adorable house wives. I finally threw on a trusty grey sweater and raced out the door. I was a grumpy a-hole at Bunco and I had no right to be. It wasn't my friends fault that my back was firing off and I was having a low self-esteem pity party. It wasn't their fault that in one short afternoon I had come unraveled. In the back of my mind I knew this and it was just making me beat myself up even more. After sitting for three hours at Bunco, I could barely stand up all the way straight to race myself back out to the car. I went home, finally conceded that I needed some anti-inflammatories and proceeded to curl up on the couch in the fetal position, the only thing that offered some relief. 

Today, I ache all over. My back is super pissed at me. I'm not incapacitated by any means, but it feels like a time bomb. I'm sure some of it is from the extra I added to my workout yesterday morning. I'll try and be positive for a minute. I have this great book that is full of resistance training and has workouts put together in the back. I have decided to add these in a few times a week. Most of them hover around 15-20 minutes if you hustle, and you can do them anywhere. I take the book with me when I travel. It's great, really! Mentally I am struggling with the fact that it took next to nothing for me to decide that all the work I have done has been for nothing. The reality is, I am I between sizes. What this means is that all the clothes I have been wearing look frumpy on me because they are too big and all of the clothes that are the next size  down are too tight or don't hide the things I hate about myself. It is another case of my insides not matching my outside. In my mind, I have worked hard enough that that middle spare tire should not be an issue. It is an issue. It piles up when I sit on the floor in yoga. It keeps my arms from being able to hang straight next to my body. It is the first thing that I look for in the mirror. It has the power to make me not want to leave the house. I'm sure it contributes to my intermittent back issues. It makes me so mad/sad that it just takes a few small things to unravel me into a negative attitude. I am working hard. I am trying hard. I am doing everything I can to get healthier. That isn't fair to me to downplay what I have done because I'm not where I want to be when I want to be there. Not fair at all. Why are we soooo hard on ourselves? What has ingrained that mentality into us? We would never pick someone else apart like we do ourselves. Never.  We should be celebrating each milestone, not complaining that we aren't at the destination. That's where I am trying to get my head at today. For some reason it is so much easier to think negatively than it is to pick yourself back up. 

I did workout today. I did T25 only. I modified anything that I thought would put me into a full on back-isode. I'm sure it wasn't an earth shattering, change creating workout for me, but it was better than doing nothing, that I know for sure. My back did loosen up a little during the workout, so I'm gonna take that to be a good sign. Tomorrow is double day, so I better get my head right and be ready to roll on. More power to you if you are havin a hard day. I obviously have them too. No one is immune to them. It is just important to get through them with the least amount of collateral damage and get right back after it. Chin up, Funny Fat Chic, tomorrow is a new day. 

In other news, every waking minute I have been in my car over the past two days has been spent picking little bits of wax out of my nose. Still TOTALLY worth it.

Enough with the hair already!

First, sorry I skipped yesterday. I packed it in yesterday, not a minute to spare. By the time I got home from hot yoga, I was done for the day.

Second, let's talk a little about hot yoga yesterday. Again, I am shocked at the number of men that attend this class. They are there in force, they proudly display their speedos, and they are bendy as hell. Bendy=Flexible. The gentlemen last night had all obviously been doing yoga for quite sometime. They could ease their way into the more advanced postures. Their abilities are something to strive for. Good job dudes!!! Keep after it!! Last night was a new instructor for me. She was a vision. Now, before you start thinking that I am batting for the other team, bear with me, let me explain. This gal was lithe, lean, flexible, graceful. When she walked she floated around the room. She had long legs, long arms, long neck, long everything. She was a gazelle. I want to be her. I will NEVER be her. Genetics say I will NEVER be her. But maybe my compact, muscle bound, pudgy body can strive to move like her. Maybe that is a realistic goal. She had a great voice that was soothing during the down times and encouraging during physically/mentally trying times. This is a trait that all the instructors have.  That must be part of their training. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed all of the instructors. I took a couple girlfriends with me last night, one was her second class, one was a first timer. There is still mixed reviews about whether they like the hot yoga or not. It's a tough deal, it messes with your body and your brain. Tough deal. I'm enjoyed last night, it was a good session for me. I think I'll keep going when I can.

Today. I worked out this morning, I have my afternoon job today and then BUNCO with local ladies tonight. That means I worked out after a fast. It was good. I pushed a little harder thinking about how I wanted be a gazelle instead of a wildebeest. I also waxed my nose hair today. Say what? Did you just throw us a nose hair curve ball, Funny Fat Chic??? Sure did. I think I mentioned that I could see them in car rearview mirror. They have been taunting me. Irritating me. I was getting self-conscious about them. I need one more thing to be self-conscious about like I need a hole in my head. So, thanks to the amazing world of Amazon Prime, I ordered myself a nose hair wax kit (I wasn't gonna be caught dead buying that stuff at Wal*Mart, besides I needed season 5 of Breaking Bad) and this morning I took it for a whirl. Problem number one. I don't have a microwave. It is partially due to lack of counter space and partially due to the fact that I don't think they are healthy. We'll get in to that another time. How did I heat up my wax? I boiled it. By golly I boiled the heck out of it. I dipped the applicator stick, I pulled my lip down, stuck that thing up my nose, and then I waited. 90 seconds is a long time when you are gearing yourself for pulling out all your nose hair. That is a lot of time to think about what is about to happen. If you have ever plucked one of your nose hairs you know that there is some direct connection between it and your tear ducts. What they heck is gonna happen when you yank all of them??? Well, problem number two. You are supposed to yank them, not slowly pull them out. My 90 seconds was up and I panicked a little at the thought of yanking that applicator stick. I finally did it because I have to work with the general public today and having a white plastic stick hanging out of my nose was not really going to cut it. So, yank I did. Turns out it didn't really hurt all that bad. Not a pleasurable feeling, but no tears were shed. What was left on that stick BLEW. MY. MIND. Who knew you had that much hair in your nose?!?!?!?!?!? I won't go into any more details, but it was impressive to say the least.

I'll leave you with that final image. Happy hump day!!

There was a hair...

OK, I would like to think that I am NOT a clean freak. I used to have a job that could be featured on Dirty Jobs. Seriously. I have put my bare hands in places people should never put their hands. I've lived to tell about it. But I do have some key things that I am kinda weird about. Public restrooms for starters. At yoga, there is a public restroom. It is VERY clean by public restroom standards. But, and this is a big but, people wander around the yoga place without their shoes on 'cause you do yoga without your shoes on. This means they go in the public restroom without their shoes on. This really freaks me out. FYI, I wear my shoes into the restroom. I have gotten sideways looks from the yogis for doing this. Ask me if I care. Nope, sure don't. On Saturday (the only day that I made it to yoga this weekend, life got in the way), I had a good yoga session. Another new instructor and she was extremely helpful. She helped me get a couple postures I was unable to get previously. Good, good, good. Now for the punch line. The second half of yoga you are literally gushing sweat from every pore of your body. It was so much this time it was running in my eyes and affecting my vision. There are portions where you are laying face down on the floor. Sometimes I don't realize that I have crept to the top of my mat and sometimes my head ends up off of my mat. At the end of class all you can think about is water. Lots and lots of water. So, you go chug the rest of your water bottle and then you refill it and then you head for the car. There is no better feeling than when you walk outside into the cool air. I have no idea how this will work in the summer time. I may be shopping for a convertible. Anyways, I get into the car and head up the road. Get my breath and bearings back. Then I got this funny feeling. You know when you can feel something in your mouth but you can't quite identify it??? Well, I made a few blind stabs at it and finally pulled a hair from my mouth. Now, if you have been a regular reader of the blog, you know that I have VERY curly hair. Yes, it's natural. This hair was not curly. Every time I do yoga I always pull a hair or two off of my yoga pants. I know they aren't mine. I mentally compartmentalize this fact, lock it up, throw the key away, and chuck the box off the side of a boat where it sinks to the bottom of the bad thought ocean. This hair came out of my mouth. THIS HAIR CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. There is no compartmentalizing that. So, I think it is safe to say we found another thing that kinda weirds me out (biggest understatement of the year). Even though I found a hair in my mouth, even though I don't get to go everyday, even though the locker room brings up every insecurity I have had about my body since middle school, I still like yoga and I am seeing results from it. I can reach things during my T25 workout that I could not previous reach. Certain things are easier to execute than they were before. I don't think that I have really lost any more weight so I can only attribute this to yoga. I won't soon forget the hair thing, but I will try and let it go.

I was uncontrollably hungry this weekend. I tried very hard to portion myself and I think I did pretty well with that, but, and this is another big but, I could have tipped a cow and ate the heaven facing half a beef off the hoof. Where's the beef?!?! I kinda wonder if I was low in iron. Or, was I just plain hungry? Isn't that odd how some days you don't think about food all that much and other days it all you can do to not think about it? I was better today. A lot better. But I still can't help but wonder what gave over the weekend. Maybe hormones? Maybe tired. I have exerted myself a little harder the last couple weeks. Maybe it caught up with me. My insomnia is back a little bit. I'm not sure why. I'm a little stressed about school. It is the first of the year so I am a little stressed about money. I don't know why it has returned, but I do know that lack of sleep definitely makes me hungrier. All I can say is I let myself have a little indulgence with take-out Chinese food on Saturday night (but I ate about 1/2 of what I normally would), I kept up on my water, and stayed as busy as I possibly could. If there are consequences from any of that, then so be it.

That's my weekend wrap up, I almost ate a stranger's hair, I almost ate a half a beef, I did eat Chinese food, and I'm trying to compartmentalize all of that. Happy Monday!!!

The N-word

Nooooo, not that N-word, get your mind out of the gutter. Nope, this N-word is NAKED.

Shaun T posted a new podcast this week for Define Your Life. I've told you before that this podcast talks about more than just fitness, but it is basically how the rest of your life relates to your fitness. It delves into issues like motivation, self-image, confidence, the ability to handle being uncomfortable, etc. This week he interviewed his friend Todd. Who is this famous Todd I speak of?? Just a dude. A dude that lives in North Carolina. He used to be a fatty, he lost weight and got fit on the Beachbody programs, and inadvertently met Shaun T. They have rapid become the best of friends. They workout together via Skype, they travel to see each other as often as possible, they are Soul Brothers. This was really nothing more than two dudes talking while they were sitting out on the deck on Super Bowl Sunday. I like that.

They touched on a lot of things, but one of the things was that Todd was not comfortable with was walking around naked in front of his wife. Shaun T used to hate walking around naked too. As it turns out, dudes have insecurities about their bodies too. Who knew??? I guess ladies don't have the corner market on that one. Now, I don't want to delve into any sexual aspects of walking around naked, I just thought it was crazy that these two super ripped guys weren't nudists in general. I'd like to think that if I looked that amazing (Shaun T buzz word), you all would get a glimpse of me in my birthday suit because I am going to show that body off. Just kidding. I am the least likely person that you will ever see naked, amazing body or not. I freak out in locker rooms. I sometimes work out in the dark I don't have to see myself. Moral of the story was that it is important to love your body. Love your body at every phase. It is the only body that you have. Literally. You only get the one. So why not love it? Now, I don't want you to think that I woke up this morning and fully embraced my front pouch (insert yucky belly) or my dimply thighs or my flappy arms. Nope, didn't happen. But I thought about it. Maybe that counts for something.

Here is what I did do. I worked out in a pair of shorts and a sports bra. And my tennis shoes. And ankle socks. That's it. Nothing else. I thought if those chicas on the video can do it, why can't I? They look so comfortable and free. Whenever I am in plank or doing push-ups I feel like my t-shirt is trying to suffocate me. Like it executing some deep seated revenge for me involving it my sweaty torture session. I'm in my home, by myself, nobody can see me scantily clad. So, I did it. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda liked it. I had to look at my disgusting gut, I had to see the wave of arm fat fly by my face every time I shot my arm in the air for a Mountain Climber. Today was double days on T25. By the time I did the second workout I wasn't even thinking about it. I killed my second workout. I didn't have a wet t-shirt clinging to every part of me, slowing me down. I just flopped around and focused on my core, and rocked it. Plain and simple. Does this constitute as me loving my body? No. For sure not. Is it as great a feat as walking around naked in front of someone? Nope. Not even close. Is it one step closer to me being more comfortable in my own skin. You betcha. Progress, however small, is still progress. Or at least that is what the omnificent, all-knowing power, Pinterest, says.

I thank Shaun T and Todd for me not suffocating during my workout day. Boom. And in case you missed it, I did thank Shaun T yesterday and he responded!!! Whoa. Double Boom. Have an awesome weekend. I'm sure I will have some Hot Yoga reports for you Monday. Peace out.

Tongue Tied

You might not believe this, but sometimes I don't have much to say. For instance, today, I'm a little tongue tied. I listened to another Shaun T podcast and I loved it. It delved into some deep topics, but I don't have my thoughts organized enough to convey them to you yet. I had a good work out today. I discovered my flexibility was better... Yoga maybe? But all in all, that's all I got. So... When in doubt, consult Pinterest. It has the answer for anything and everything. Here are some of my fav's in regard to fitness, eating, etc. Enjoy!







 









And last but not least....

Bippity-Boppity-Bacon

Raise your hand if you know who Jim Gaffigan is. Boom, all 37 of my readers hands just shot up.

Good. That means that you know Bippity-Boppity-Bacon is a reference to a bit that Jim does about adding bacon to a salad. He says something along the lines of it just turns into a treasure hunt for the bacon. Jim's comedy on food is epic to say the least. His book, Dad Is Fat, is worth a read. I laughed. I laughed out loud.

Rewind to Saturday night. I was cranky. Like I have not been cranky in awhile. I don't know where it came from, possibly a jet lag type syndrome from my first Hot Yoga, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe I was beginning to realize my need for better time management. Who knows. Bottom line, I was a grump.

As a result, I was hungry. My physiologic response to basically everything. My survival instincts in that regard should guarantee me to make it through a zombie apocalypse or a nuclear winter with no problems whatsoever. I can store food and take a big nap. Live to fight another day.

I got a little off track right there. Saturday night. I had some friends ask me over for a beer. Knowing the mood I was in I knew I was not gonna be great company. Probably quiet and sullen, a buzz-kill if you will. So, I was faced with dilemma of dinner. I told my Mom that I would have dinner with her when she got off of work. I didn't know what I wanted so she said she would cook. After I hung up the phone from this conversation, I murmured under my breathe, anything but salad. I was at the point if I saw another salad I was going to throw a plate through a wall. My ever growing biceps and my Hulk-like rage would facilitate that feat quite easily. Salad = Giant Green Rage Monster.

I was in the middle of an online quiz for school when my Mom arrived. I heard her cooking away, but didn't really pay attention. She delivered to me one salad with some grilled shrimp on top. I smiled politely. Choked it down. I'm sure it was great, but in my mind it was ANOTHER effing (ear muffs) SALAD. I wanted to throw the gosh darn (no earmuffs) plate through the wall. But, I am all about being supportive of my Mom and her healthy choices right now. Hulk had to stay in his(her) cage.

I am still eating salads. I dress them up with cruciferous vegetables, nuts, berries, lean protein, avocados, grilled mushrooms, and so on and so forth. No Bippity-Boppity-Bacon. Salads are the easiest way for me to eat properly. Lots of veggies and lean protein are good, solid nutrition (notice I didn't say diet, nutrition). But I hit the end of my rut on Saturday night. Does that ever happen to you? You know you are making the right choice, the healthy choice, but it doesn't really make you feel all that much better about it or about you. Good news, it passed. Bad news, I'm sure it will happen again. I just have to remember it is like making deposits in a savings account. The funds I put in today will be paying next months dividends. This month's hard work will equal next month's healthier body. I just wish I could make that portion of my mind dumb. That way it wouldn't realize it was just eating a salad. It could think we were having a steak and cheesy potatoes every day, sometimes twice a day. Mmmmmmm. Steak. Mmmmmmm. Potatoes. Anyways, when and if that feeling rolls up on you, hold back that inner Hulk and keep it together. There are long run goals to be had that short term indulgences won't help. I'm not saying don't indulge every now and again, but make sure it is because you really want to, not because you need to placate a giant green rage monster.

Two for Tuesday

Is it Tuesday already?? Sorry I missed Monday. Here is my list of excuses: I started a new job. It is adding about 20 hours to my week. Why? Because I like to make money, I do better when I'm crazy busy, and I don't know the word no. I'm actually really excited about this job, so, it's a good thing, a really good thing. I rushed off to hot yoga last night after work and chores. I decided I could fit it in. I couldn't really, I'm a little behind for my class reading. But I'll catch up. All will be good. That's it for excuses, no dog ate my homework, no my alarm didn't go off, just a good ole plain, I ran out of time.

So, yesterday was my third consecutive day of hot yoga. I'm not going to be able to 20 days in a row like my Mom, but I'm going to go as often as I can. Weird stuff is happening. I'm sore. Hip flexors first. Shoulders and lats came next. I get a headache after class each time. Weird. I think, now bare with me 'cause I'm gonna sound kooky, it is toxins leaving my body. The poses are done in a specific order and designed to focus on different systems in your body (aka lymphatic, digestive, circulatory, etc.) and as a result your body tries to push out the bad stuff. Weird. On Sunday I could feel energy coming in my hands during Savase. I don't know if that is how you spell it, but it is where you are laying on the floor with your palms up. Weird. I am getting over the smell in the room. Nothing a little Vics Vapor Rub couldn't fix. Weird. I am getting less hung up about how I look in the mirror. It is ME as of right now. I'm obviously there doing something to work on that pudgy, batwing-armed, inflexible human in the mirror. It would only be reverse progress to dwell on my appearance. Plus, as I'm sure we all remember, I vowed not to hate myself. I'm there being supportive of my Mom and doing something good for myself, what's to hate?? I talked a couple of the girls into going with me on two of the days. We had mixed reviews. One really liked it, one is still on the fence. I totally get it. I may still be on the fence. I just know that it is challenging, and if it is challenging, then it must be something I need to work on. The one thing that we all agree on is that we had no idea that the human body could sweat so much. It is impressive. Weird. Yoga kinda messes with your mind a little bit too. The regular yogis (I think that is what you call them), are very zen and can lay there very still when it is time to be still, I can't do this. Physically I can make myself for a short period of time but I can't get my mind to stop racing. Pretty good indicator that I need to stay after this yoga deal when I have time. A person should be able to be still. So, that is my yoga story so far. I'll keep telling it as it happens.

Today. Today was NOT a two for Tuesday. I have been doing at least two workouts a day since I fired the blog back up. Not bragging, just saying. I need it, believe me. The yoga mirror tells me I have a LONG WAYS to go. But with the advent of yoga, I haven't taken a rest day in a couple weeks. I didn't want to deter from my T25 timeline. So, today I compromised. I only did T25. It was Upper Focus today, one of the easier workouts right now. I did that and only that. I decided it was ok to go easy on myself for a day. Everyone needs a rest sometimes. Otherwise burnout is inevitable. I'm all about mental toughness, but you have to listen to your body too. Mine said, "slow your roll, Funny Fat Chick." Now I am going to crank out some homework. Balance, balance, balance. Balance my diet. Balance my time management. Balance in tree pose. I am all about attempting to balance these days. I'm not balanced yet. But I am really working on it.

I was going to do a Super Bowl Sunday post about all the good food and couple of beers I had and how I really tried to just portion myself. But then the Seahawks lost and, well, the wound is just to fresh and too deep. Just know that I ate hot wings and I don't even feel bad about it.

On a side note. How amazing would two tacos be right now? Street tacos to be specific.