Good news to report here over at The Final Fifty. I no longer have to shimmy into my jeans. You know what I am talking about. There are three methods of putting jeans on:
1) You just pull them right up. The only parts that move on you are your arms to pull them up.
I have always quantified this method as how jeans go on that are too big. It may be time to revise that statement. It might actualy be the method for jeans that fit correctly. Food for thought.
2) You pull them up, but you have to shimmy and shake your hips in order to get them pulled over your derieaire. There is a certain amount of timing and skill involoved in performing this method. Depending on the degree of tightness of the jeans determines the violence with which you have to shake and shimmy. Sometimes it is just a couple little wiggles, sometimes it is a several well-timed large thrusts combined with a hard haul up with your arms. Some pairs of jeans require that you loop your fingers through the belt loops for a more secure grip. Jeans that fall under this method will NOT require one to wear a belt with them.
I always quantified this method as how jeans go on that fit. This may need to be revised to too tight.
3) Option 3 is a combination move. It involves laying down (usually on the edge of a bed) with your feet hagning off and then employing method number 2. Often times this method requires props in the form of a wire coat hanger for extra leverage to get the zipper pulled up once the jeans are actually over your hips. This method involves, sweating, swearing, and plenty of blame placed on your wardrobe that is somehow conspiring against you.
This was always the method for jeans that were a little too tight. Revision: don't wear these under any circumstances. Nothing good can come from wearing these jeans.
I noticed when I pulled up my jeans today I did NO wiggling around. Not one shimmy. Not one shake. Just pulled 'em up. I have also noticed that when I walk around I have to pull them up sometimes. They get baggy as the day wears on. Fist pump! Heck yeah! Go me! My next set of jeans is way cuter than these! Bring. It. On. If you know me and spend any time with me be prepared to see my butt crack over the next few weeks until I fit into the next size of jeans. I HATE belts. It's an innate fat kid thing. Belts are uncomfortable not only sitting, but standing, and bending, and breathing. Fat kids HAAAAATE belts. So, not only do I not own them, I wouldn't wear them if I did. So there. If you don't like it, don't look. Just sayin. Here's to only shimming when I exercise!!!
Exercise update: So far this week is AWESOME. Don't hate me for being enthusiastic. It has been awhile since I felt enthusiastic, so I'm gonna shine here for a moment. The BETA round is HARD. HARD. HARD. I feel good doing it. I still modify from time to time, but I am trying not to as much as possible. I am jumping, and kicking, and squatting, and huffing, and puffing. Today's workout added in resistance training. I {heart} lifting weights. I tolerate cardio so that I can lift weights. It felt great! Even if I was at the lighter end of my dumbbells, for now. My new shoes came yesterday, so, of course I can run faster, jump higher, and leap buildings with a single bound. My new water bottle came too. Three words. I. LOVE. IT. It is great!!! And no BPA's. Whatever those are. But they are always talked about with a bad connotation, so I'm making an attempt at avoiding them. I got an aluminum (or maybe steel???) 1L water bottle. I drink no less than 4 of them a day. I pee no less that 17 times a day. My kidneys are happy campers.
Happy hump day Final Fifty Fans!
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