I was going to call this post the "Ugly Truth" but I didn't want to infringe on any movie title copyrights. Besides, we are all about being honest here, right?
So, I try really hard not to dive off into a pity party if I can help it. But let's face, we all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes. I had a touch of that last weekend. I waited a few days to write this post to make sure that it was really what I wanted to put out there in the universe, and since it is still on my mind, and my heart, here it goes. I promise to continue to lace some humor throughout. I am laughing at myself, you guys should too. This will all tie in to weight loss, just bear with me.
Last weekend I went on a long weekend trip to stay in a cabin in central Oregon... Alone. But I wasn't supposed to be alone. Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I am absolutely sick and tired of being alone (insert:single). Confession... After I turned 35 this summer I broke down and signed up for eharmony. It has been the worst dating experiences of my life. Internet dating takes the human component out of meeting people and allows people to talk (type) to you without actually having to treat you like person. Repeatedly I have communicated with a guy, for several weeks even, and then one day they just never write again. I had one HORRIFIC date weekend where I flew up to meet a guy, basically got stood up at the airport for 7 hours, met him for a ridiculously late dinner, never heard from him the next, or the next day until 3 hours before my scheduled flight home. This weekend was not an eharmony guy. This was a guy that I knew when I lived in Oregon and have seen from time to time over the years. I invited him to the cabin for the weekend and he indicated that he was coming and was excited to come. Fast forward to me sitting in the cabin staring at two unreturned messages, realizing once again, that I had been stood up. Is this what dating in my 30's is all about, humility??? God bless all my friends because they are quick to tell me there is nothing wrong with me and that I am a great person. They also say that I should stay single as long as I can. Here is the thing about that... They are wrong. Being single has some perks, but at the end of the day, you know who I tell about my day? My dogs. Which I am starting to collect like a crazy cat lady. They listen, they love me, but they don't talk back. They don't hold my hand. They don't laugh. They don't tell me I'm right, wrong, or indifferent. Until you are spending the time in your life alone when you should be married and raising a family and watching everyone else in your life do exactly that, don't tell me I should stay alone. Its not always all it's cracked up to be.
Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't have an all bad weekend. I didn't even have a mostly bad weekend. I refused to. The weather was great. The scenery was beautiful. I got a lot of outside activities done. I even did an 8 mile run on Sunday, a distance PR for me. I couldn't help but think how cliche me running alone is. You know that scene in EVERY romantic drama and comedy where the single chic is running along the beach, or the river, or the whatever. I get why they run, its a solitary activity so it isn't weird for you to be doing it by yourself. I wanted to go watch the Ronda Rousey fight on Saturday night, but I couldn't think of anything worse than sitting in a bar eating dinner alone on my solitary weekend. It takes tough stuff to eat alone in a restaurant when you actually are alone. Tougher stuff than I have. I skipped the fight, got Mexican take out, and did my homework by the fire at the cabin.
My confidence in myself has gone up tenfold since I have begun this particular weight loss journey. I have accomplished a lot in the past year, not just physically, but in other areas of my life as well. I genuinely feel good about myself. But even the sanest, most well-loved, and emotionally strong person will have their boat rocked by rejection. Especially when it comes in the form of silence. There is that not knowing factor. I know to a certain degree that nothing bad happened to this guy. I have Facebook to thank for that. He still posted things all weekend. It was just me that he didn't even think enough of to tell me he wouldn't make it. I had given him outs prior to the weekend and could have even scheduled some photo shoots while I was over there. I put all that on hold because he said he was coming. What is it about me that makes people think that treating me like that is ok? That it won't affect me in the least? The worst part is having people ask about my weekend. What did you do? I tell them. How was the weather? Gorgeous, I say. Who did you go with? No one. And then it happens. The "Oh." This "Oh" is meant to be polite and enthusiastic. It slips from people's mouths before they think of something else to say. The tone of this "Oh" is dripping with pity and a hint of disbelief that I would travel alone, not to meet anyone, but to be alone. That "Oh" speaks volumes.
Weight loss tie-in. I would be lying through my teeth if I didn't tell you that a portion of my weight loss quest is a vain attempt at being more attractive to the opposite sex. People that are healthy and fit are people that have respect for themselves and that makes other people drawn to them in turn. I am not hanging my single hat on the fact that my hind end is getting smaller, but one would think it would help. That is a pretty superficial way to look at looking for a mate, but I feel like I have all the other parts figured out, so that must be it, I must be physically unattractive. I'm honestly not looking for any sympathy here. I gave myself enough of that last weekend. I just want anyone else out there in this same boat to know you aren't completely alone. I get it. I totally get it. But don't let it be something that sets you off your path to living a healthy lifestyle. It is about more than just being physically attractive. It is about being strong in mind and body. STRONG. I'm just about over this hump and over that guy. I'm just about over trying to figure out why. I am moving on. And heading down the road... In sneakers... And compression leggings... And sporting a fanny pack, I mean flipbelt.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Thursday, November 5, 2015
The highs and lows of weight loss.
I am starting to think that this will never end. I have been fighting the weight demon for 35 years now. That is quite a career. It is a roller coaster of a ride that goes from emotional high to emotional low without much contentment in between.
Why so melancholy Funny Fat Chic?
A couple things have happened in the last week. I can do a happy dance because instead of my sizes having multiple Xs in front of them, some, if not all are just a good 'ole plain L. That is kinda cool. I have some cute clothes that I bought the last time I lost weight but I ballooned back up before I fit into them that I can now wear. VICTORY! A short-lived one though.
I have a vacation planned in December. It is a bucket list trip and I could not be more excited about it. Where I'm going, the people I'm going with, it could not be planned more perfectly. I tried on jeans this week. Jeans that I just knew I could get into before this trip. Here I am 30 days out and they absolutely DO NOT fit. No ifs ands or buts about it. <Insert sigh of defeat> Why on God's green earth after all this time, all this work, and all that I have accomplished do I still let myself be defined by the size of my pants?????? But I do. I took the pile of jeans out of the storage tub that they were in and put them in my room on a bench at the foot of my bed so that they would be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. A big 'ole pile of shame. I'm sure that will be effective (she says dripping with sarcasm). It is like I feel the need to punish myself for not getting there in time.
Here is the take away from this. We (or at least I) do not have full control of my body. Even though I have set a goal, maybe an unrealistic one, that doesn't mean that my body has the same plan. I'm not as young as I used to be so weight loss is a little slower process. I refuse to take any weight loss supplements because I know that their effects are not lasting or healthy. I also refuse to starve myself this time. I am eating an appropriate amount of calories in the form of clean, whole foods that nourish me and support my current activities. So, I am going to run 7.5 miles today. I am going to lift weights. I am going to stay consistent and strong through the holidays. I am not going to let that pile of jeans depress me into eating badly and giving up. I like the feeling of accomplishment I am getting by reaching fitness goals, even if my pants size isn't willing to be a reward for me. Highs to lows, contentment must be in there somewhere.
Why so melancholy Funny Fat Chic?
A couple things have happened in the last week. I can do a happy dance because instead of my sizes having multiple Xs in front of them, some, if not all are just a good 'ole plain L. That is kinda cool. I have some cute clothes that I bought the last time I lost weight but I ballooned back up before I fit into them that I can now wear. VICTORY! A short-lived one though.
I have a vacation planned in December. It is a bucket list trip and I could not be more excited about it. Where I'm going, the people I'm going with, it could not be planned more perfectly. I tried on jeans this week. Jeans that I just knew I could get into before this trip. Here I am 30 days out and they absolutely DO NOT fit. No ifs ands or buts about it. <Insert sigh of defeat> Why on God's green earth after all this time, all this work, and all that I have accomplished do I still let myself be defined by the size of my pants?????? But I do. I took the pile of jeans out of the storage tub that they were in and put them in my room on a bench at the foot of my bed so that they would be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. A big 'ole pile of shame. I'm sure that will be effective (she says dripping with sarcasm). It is like I feel the need to punish myself for not getting there in time.
Here is the take away from this. We (or at least I) do not have full control of my body. Even though I have set a goal, maybe an unrealistic one, that doesn't mean that my body has the same plan. I'm not as young as I used to be so weight loss is a little slower process. I refuse to take any weight loss supplements because I know that their effects are not lasting or healthy. I also refuse to starve myself this time. I am eating an appropriate amount of calories in the form of clean, whole foods that nourish me and support my current activities. So, I am going to run 7.5 miles today. I am going to lift weights. I am going to stay consistent and strong through the holidays. I am not going to let that pile of jeans depress me into eating badly and giving up. I like the feeling of accomplishment I am getting by reaching fitness goals, even if my pants size isn't willing to be a reward for me. Highs to lows, contentment must be in there somewhere.
Monday, October 26, 2015
The View
Nope, I'm not about to talk about that TV show. I would never dare to enter into that political of a diatribe on this lighthearted, truth-slinging, funny platform. Nope. No way, no how.
I would like to talk about how I actually see a few things. How the world, ok my world, looks like right now.
For instance... I am starting to see my body take a shape other than round. I am getting a tiny bit of definition in my tree trunk legs. My calves are starting to look like muscles, not just extensions of my thighs. I am beginning to see a waist in between my fat rolls. My arms are getting a little sculpted. They probably look the best of anything on me, besides my perfectly manicured toes... Wait, I mean my perfectly pedicured toes. But in all reality, my arms probably had the least amount of work to do to become passable. There is still some wiggle and jiggle in the bottom of them, but it is rapidly being replaced by muscle. Here is one thing that I don't get about what I see. What kind of cosmic joke is it that stretch marks are on the front of our bodies instead of the back where we can't see them??? Why do I have to look at those things on my stomach instead of on my back where I would rarely, if ever, catch a glimpse of them??? That is a piss poor design flaw in the human body if you ask me.
I no longer want to cry when I see a picture of myself these days. I fit into some cuter clothes now that actually have some shape to them and don't just make me look like a fat face stuck on a colorless blob, how I've always felt up to now. Who knows, maybe I'll even change my profile picture. I don't feel like I dwarf the person standing next to me in pictures. Mind you, I'm not volunteering to get in front of any cameras, I'm just not actively hiding from them.
This is my view when I workout these days...
I would like to talk about how I actually see a few things. How the world, ok my world, looks like right now.
For instance... I am starting to see my body take a shape other than round. I am getting a tiny bit of definition in my tree trunk legs. My calves are starting to look like muscles, not just extensions of my thighs. I am beginning to see a waist in between my fat rolls. My arms are getting a little sculpted. They probably look the best of anything on me, besides my perfectly manicured toes... Wait, I mean my perfectly pedicured toes. But in all reality, my arms probably had the least amount of work to do to become passable. There is still some wiggle and jiggle in the bottom of them, but it is rapidly being replaced by muscle. Here is one thing that I don't get about what I see. What kind of cosmic joke is it that stretch marks are on the front of our bodies instead of the back where we can't see them??? Why do I have to look at those things on my stomach instead of on my back where I would rarely, if ever, catch a glimpse of them??? That is a piss poor design flaw in the human body if you ask me.
I no longer want to cry when I see a picture of myself these days. I fit into some cuter clothes now that actually have some shape to them and don't just make me look like a fat face stuck on a colorless blob, how I've always felt up to now. Who knows, maybe I'll even change my profile picture. I don't feel like I dwarf the person standing next to me in pictures. Mind you, I'm not volunteering to get in front of any cameras, I'm just not actively hiding from them.
This is my view when I workout these days...
I like both of these views for different reasons. I still have a love/hate relationship with the running. These days I am leaning a little more towards love than hate. So, there's that. What I can say for the running is that I feel empowered, clear headed, and all around better when I get done with a run. I am always surprised at my distance or the time that I get it done in. Always. I still don't believe I can do it. I hope I can hold onto this awe and wonder for a little while longer. Signing up for some races and finding the MapMyRun app for my phone has made things a little more interesting and provided some new motivation. So, again, there's that. The weight lifting is still my favorite. I can't help it. I feel strong, really strong when I get done with it. I know that it is the thing that is shaping my body on the outside. The running might be changing me on the inside (which should count for more), but the weights are what the rest of the world is seeing. I was excited to find out the other day that The Beast and Autumn from 21 Day Fix Extreme are getting together and releasing a workout program in December (Beach Body). I'll be first in line for that one!! It will be my reward for completing the 10k.
The last thing that I see right now is an amazing fall. The view from my weekly hike is clear, glowing with warm fall light, and starting to get an edge of crisp on it. I love this time of year. Even if it means the rise of pumpkin spiced everything and arm loads of comfort food that I have to resist.
What does your view look like these days????
Friday, October 16, 2015
Procrastination
In an effort for my brain to avoid typing up my last two term papers that are due tomorrow night, all it will think about is talking points that I have been thinking of for a Final Fifty blog post. So, here I am putting pen to paper (translate fingers to keys) in a feeble attempt to get my brain to go back to thinking about strategic management and its application to my chosen company of Asics tennis shoes. And then for fun after that I am going to write a paper on Volkswagen and the ethical decisions that it made that led up to the emissions scandal and how that is going to affect its position in the marketplace. How bad do you wish you were me right now???
So, we are gonna do this down and dirty style, a list. It has been awhile since we had a list. Yep, a list it is.
1) After I posted that picture of Slack (my puppy) tormenting and mocking me (he lays on his back when I do crunches and rolls over kicks his legs out behind him when I plank) while doing abs yesterday I came to a shocking realization... The thinner my face gets the bigger my teeth are. I have an overbite that I have always been pretty self-conscious about, and apparently I am going to need to gain my weight back in order avoid my mouth being inordinately out of proportion to the rest of my face. Trade-offs suck.
2) I can officially wear regular bras again. So much for my gaining the weight back theory in #1. I have a rather large rib cage that is blessed with a rather small bust. Finding bras to accommodate that scenario when I am overweight is basically impossible. If I find one to fit my cup size, then it cuts into my back horribly and creates no less than two more fat rolls than what actually exist and it won't remain in place. I can now comfortably fit in my old Victoria Secret 36B (loooooooow end of B) bras and they are comfortable, flattering, and don't budge. I always thought I was shaped weird, turns out I was just fat and they don't make pretty, fancy, nice bras for fat chics. They make ugly old sports bras and grandma bras (sorry to all the grandmas out there) that are most likely some form of fat shaming scheme from the lingerie industry. Anyways, lucky me, I can wear real bras again.
3) Fast food. I bet you all think I don't eat fast food anymore. How could I and continue to lose weight??? WRONG. I eat it at least twice a week, sometimes more. I have just found healthy options at the fast food places, I control my portions, and I look for places that make their food from REAL food, not food-like substances. Here are some examples...
4) I am down 13 pounds since I last wrote you guys. That sounds like a lot. This is a good news/bad news deal. Here is why. I swore that I was not going to be slave to the scale. And, honestly I am not. I am much more excited about real bras than I am about the 13 pounds. But, and there is always a but, I did a dance around my bathroom this morning when I saw how much the scale had budged. Then I decided that I didn't believe it and weighed myself again. I guess the moral to this one is that the square piece of electronics in my bathroom still holds a fair amount of psychological power over me. I would like to think it is just a tool in this process, but it still holds the power to make or break my day.
5) I have a problem. A BIG problem. I can't stop buying running clothes. Compression leggings and thin quarter zip shirts with thumb holes are taking over my wardrobe. Old Navy is getting ready to issue me stock instead of shipping me clothes.
6) I am going to be really sad when my Body Beast program is over. I need to find another weight lifting program that I love as much to rotate with it. I feel like I have hit this sweet spot in my workout regime where I have the perfect mix of cardio and weights and it is making me really shed some fat (see#4). I don't want to lose that rhythm. Plus, I really like lifting weights. I like it, I like it a lot.
7) Around my homestead it is officially soup season. Fall=Soup. Fall also = hoodies, flannel pj's, and hibernation level hunger. All I wanna do is EAT. I have to be extra careful this time of year because there are naughty treats and comfort food running around everywhere. Thank goodness I'm not a coffee drinker otherwise pumpkin spice lattes might be taking over my world. I can't help it, I just love all things Fall. Added bonus, it is the only time of year where I can run the heat and the A/C in the house all in the same day. Back to soup. I love it. It is generally easy to make. It is warm and filling. It is a good way to get lots of nutrition with fewer calories. Just be aware of the sodium in soup. It can be bloating. But, making homemade soup is a good way to keep that in check.
Ok, I think that clears out The Final Fifty portion of my brain. I am gonna get back to work on my other stuff now. Unless I can come up with another reason to put it off for an hour... Or two.
Peace out.
So, we are gonna do this down and dirty style, a list. It has been awhile since we had a list. Yep, a list it is.
1) After I posted that picture of Slack (my puppy) tormenting and mocking me (he lays on his back when I do crunches and rolls over kicks his legs out behind him when I plank) while doing abs yesterday I came to a shocking realization... The thinner my face gets the bigger my teeth are. I have an overbite that I have always been pretty self-conscious about, and apparently I am going to need to gain my weight back in order avoid my mouth being inordinately out of proportion to the rest of my face. Trade-offs suck.
2) I can officially wear regular bras again. So much for my gaining the weight back theory in #1. I have a rather large rib cage that is blessed with a rather small bust. Finding bras to accommodate that scenario when I am overweight is basically impossible. If I find one to fit my cup size, then it cuts into my back horribly and creates no less than two more fat rolls than what actually exist and it won't remain in place. I can now comfortably fit in my old Victoria Secret 36B (loooooooow end of B) bras and they are comfortable, flattering, and don't budge. I always thought I was shaped weird, turns out I was just fat and they don't make pretty, fancy, nice bras for fat chics. They make ugly old sports bras and grandma bras (sorry to all the grandmas out there) that are most likely some form of fat shaming scheme from the lingerie industry. Anyways, lucky me, I can wear real bras again.
3) Fast food. I bet you all think I don't eat fast food anymore. How could I and continue to lose weight??? WRONG. I eat it at least twice a week, sometimes more. I have just found healthy options at the fast food places, I control my portions, and I look for places that make their food from REAL food, not food-like substances. Here are some examples...
- Pita Pit. By far my favorite. You get some warmed up lean protein, all the veggies you want, and it is wrapped up in a convenient whole wheat package. The calories are posted right on their menu if you are counting that sort of thing. My favorite is the Chicken Salvaki (sp??).
- Subway. Eat Fresh. Ignore the Jared scandal. Again, lean protein and as many veggies as you want. Downside, bread. I try to limit my Subway experience to once a week. I don't eat bread in any other venue in my life. I'm not saying bread is the anti-Christ, but I do know that I do better the less bread I eat. I do, however, eat Baked Lays. I love them. BBQ, Cheddar, or Sour Cream, I love them all. Bonus, they have the best iced tea on the planet. My usual right now is a steak with no cheese (their cheese doesn't look very real), flatbread, spinach, onions, tomatoes, olives, jalapenoes, yellow peppers, mayo, and sriracha.
- And finally, Jimmy Johns. The Un-wich is the singular greatest creation on the planet. Downside, you don't get a ton of veggie choices at this location. I usually order a #16 (turkey, tomato, bacon) as an Un-wich with double turkey. If I could somehow get Subway to serve Un-wiches, I would be in heaven. Here's another shocker... I eat real mayo at these location. Why? A) I refuse to give up mayo, I just limit my consumption of it. B) I refuse to eat lite mayo. Its gross and who the heck knows what they replace the real ingredients with to make it lite. I'd rather have a little of the good stuff than a ton of the nasty stuff.
4) I am down 13 pounds since I last wrote you guys. That sounds like a lot. This is a good news/bad news deal. Here is why. I swore that I was not going to be slave to the scale. And, honestly I am not. I am much more excited about real bras than I am about the 13 pounds. But, and there is always a but, I did a dance around my bathroom this morning when I saw how much the scale had budged. Then I decided that I didn't believe it and weighed myself again. I guess the moral to this one is that the square piece of electronics in my bathroom still holds a fair amount of psychological power over me. I would like to think it is just a tool in this process, but it still holds the power to make or break my day.
5) I have a problem. A BIG problem. I can't stop buying running clothes. Compression leggings and thin quarter zip shirts with thumb holes are taking over my wardrobe. Old Navy is getting ready to issue me stock instead of shipping me clothes.
6) I am going to be really sad when my Body Beast program is over. I need to find another weight lifting program that I love as much to rotate with it. I feel like I have hit this sweet spot in my workout regime where I have the perfect mix of cardio and weights and it is making me really shed some fat (see#4). I don't want to lose that rhythm. Plus, I really like lifting weights. I like it, I like it a lot.
7) Around my homestead it is officially soup season. Fall=Soup. Fall also = hoodies, flannel pj's, and hibernation level hunger. All I wanna do is EAT. I have to be extra careful this time of year because there are naughty treats and comfort food running around everywhere. Thank goodness I'm not a coffee drinker otherwise pumpkin spice lattes might be taking over my world. I can't help it, I just love all things Fall. Added bonus, it is the only time of year where I can run the heat and the A/C in the house all in the same day. Back to soup. I love it. It is generally easy to make. It is warm and filling. It is a good way to get lots of nutrition with fewer calories. Just be aware of the sodium in soup. It can be bloating. But, making homemade soup is a good way to keep that in check.
Ok, I think that clears out The Final Fifty portion of my brain. I am gonna get back to work on my other stuff now. Unless I can come up with another reason to put it off for an hour... Or two.
Peace out.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Why do I yawn?
You might be wondering if I am about to dive into a diatribe of Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? What makes me yawn? Nope, not even close. I just wanted to check in because I feel like it has been a really, really, really, really long time since I have. And I miss you guys. And I needed a title for this post. I promise it will come into play later.
First off, I would just like to say that I am crazy busy these days, ever so slightly stressed out, and still feeling a little lonely, but I am by and far happy. HAPPY. I hope that you guys are happy too. I feel like the things that I am stressed out about are legitimate things, not trivial things like "What can I eat for lunch that won't instantly add three pounds to my rear end?" Worrying about things like that can not only make you crazy, but it usually makes you feel a little vain and petty which leads to a giant ball of emotion chasing you like Indian Jones in the Temple of Doom. Raise your hand if you are a child of the '80's!!! I am worried about term papers, doing my job to the best of my ability, the best ways to take care of my grandmother, and what trick I should teach my 5 month old puppy next. You know, the important stuff.
Here is how things are going on the fitness front (then we will jump to the oh-so-lovely food front). I am on the last 5 weeks of The Beast by Beach Body. My deepest love for Shaun T still remains, but I have enjoyed The Beast as much as I can possibly enjoy a workout. He has a heavy European accent, talks about himself in the third person, and looks like he could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's younger brother. The only thing that has me in a quandary is that I yawn EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I lift weights. If anyone knows the answer to this phenomenon, I'm all ears. I have also been trying to figure out why I like this workout so much. Is it because I have promptly dropped 12+ pounds since starting it? That doesn't hurt. Is it because it is all weight lifting and I LOVE weight lifting? Sure, it is always good to enjoy what you are doing. Is it because there are no women in it? Holy cow. I have just come to this realization after about 7 weeks of doing this program. There are no women for me to compare myself to. There are no women for me to beat myself up about for not looking like them. There are no women for me to fight against. I am only trying to lift more than my previous self, not the super fine fitness chick on the TV. Two things to take home from this... 1) Stop me if you have heard this one before: Comparison is the thief of joy. The more that we compare ourselves the more we are convinced that we don't measure up and the more miserable we make ourselves in the process. 2) I need to treat every workout as though there are no other chicks. Not because the chicks are bad or because a little competition is bad, but because my fragile ego can't handle it. Recognizing that, admitting it, and working around it will make me more successful in the long run. For now, I am going to continue to BEAST UP! Plus the guys on the video are muscle bound and beautiful, how can I go wrong? The running. Ahhhhh, the running. So, since we last talked I completed a 5k. Not a huge deal except for the fact that I ran in front of people and I averaged an 8 1/2 minute mile. I surprised myself. It was the color run. If you get the chance in your area, I recommend it, it was great fun and as an added bonus you will have a neon blue armpit for at least a week and will blow sparkly boogers for no less than three days. It has spurred me on to sign up for a 10k. It isn't until December so I feel like I have given myself plenty of time to train. I am sticking with my 3-4 days a weeks running schedule and slowly increasing my distance and always working on min/mile time. I can't help but wonder if I like the running because it is solitary as well. The only person I am trying to beat is myself. I'm sensing a theme to my fitness regimes. I welcome any training advice that you experienced runners may have (Mandi & Jenna this means you). Any tips on form would be awesome too. I can't help but think that I could be doing better by myself in that department. That's about it for fitness, just a lifting and a running. Lifting and a running.
Food. Oh, blessed food. I feel like I am on auto pilot these days in the food department. This can be a dangerous place because you can comfortably slip into old habits. But, for right now, I am focusing on eating clean, keeping my portions in check, and not depriving myself when special occasions arise. I am trying not to do too much work out to food comparison math. I don't want it to take over my brain to the point where I am obsessing. I still eat Subway, I still have the occasional alcoholic beverage, I still love jerky. My new favorite is Buffalo Chicken Jerky. It makes my heart sing. I have honestly been more hungry the past few weeks. I am blaming this on a couple things. The weather is cooling off and being the bear that I am I am trying to hibernate. Next, I have upped my training. I am running farther and lifting heavier. I think my body is trying to compensate for that. The trick is to not give into that. I have to continue to keep my portions in check, continue to eat whole foods as much as possible, and I have to listen to my body. If I am a little more hungry, I can add in another healthy snack during the day. I don't need to eat two dinners. Like I said, I am trying not to obsess, just sticking to the simple rules and tuning in to what my gut is actually telling me. Oh, and drinking more water than imaginable. It is easy to back off of the water when the weather cools down, don't do it! Drink more!!
Some interesting food choices that I have been making lately... My Canadian bestie made me lunch one day when I visited her. It was a salad with grated beets, grated carrots, quinoa, mushrooms, and a lovely dressing that has a nutritional yeast base. Who says a salad has to have lettuce? I have been adding back more beets in my diet since then. I have also made a big batch of quinoa to keep in the fridge. I quite like it. It has been a handy little additive for salads and what not. I have found that if I keep a batch of plant protein in the fridge (quinoa, garbanzos, etc.) it makes making dinner at the end of a week day a lot easier. Who knew?
My goals right now are drifting away from just losing weight. I still need to do that. Or losing FAT I should say. If you put a gun to my head I would tell you I have 60 pounds left to go. Most people would tell me that is crazy. I am a deceivingly dense being. I am honestly more worried about being prepped for my 10k. I am working towards boy push-ups and unassisted pull-ups. I want to be in these smoking hot jeans that I bought before I go to NFR and Las Vegas the second week of December. My goals are less about fighting the scale and more about making improvements. I don't actually hate my body right now. It has a gut, the arms are still a little flabby, and my legs are still tree trunks (but they are tree trunks that are starting to show definition). But, BIG BUT, this body carries me for 5.5 miles at a run, it does increasingly heavier squats and bicep curls, it feels pretty darn good once it gets past the morning wake up stiffness. I have to believe that these goals are good ones. Healthy ones. Potentially fun ones.
So, there you have it. I yawn, for why I don't know?
Thanks for tuning in!!!
P.S. This Funny Fat Chic is throwing out a challenge. If any of you get trained up and successfully run The Hot Chocolate Run with me in December I will personally put $100 towards new running shoes for you. Consider yourselves challenged.
First off, I would just like to say that I am crazy busy these days, ever so slightly stressed out, and still feeling a little lonely, but I am by and far happy. HAPPY. I hope that you guys are happy too. I feel like the things that I am stressed out about are legitimate things, not trivial things like "What can I eat for lunch that won't instantly add three pounds to my rear end?" Worrying about things like that can not only make you crazy, but it usually makes you feel a little vain and petty which leads to a giant ball of emotion chasing you like Indian Jones in the Temple of Doom. Raise your hand if you are a child of the '80's!!! I am worried about term papers, doing my job to the best of my ability, the best ways to take care of my grandmother, and what trick I should teach my 5 month old puppy next. You know, the important stuff.
Here is how things are going on the fitness front (then we will jump to the oh-so-lovely food front). I am on the last 5 weeks of The Beast by Beach Body. My deepest love for Shaun T still remains, but I have enjoyed The Beast as much as I can possibly enjoy a workout. He has a heavy European accent, talks about himself in the third person, and looks like he could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's younger brother. The only thing that has me in a quandary is that I yawn EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I lift weights. If anyone knows the answer to this phenomenon, I'm all ears. I have also been trying to figure out why I like this workout so much. Is it because I have promptly dropped 12+ pounds since starting it? That doesn't hurt. Is it because it is all weight lifting and I LOVE weight lifting? Sure, it is always good to enjoy what you are doing. Is it because there are no women in it? Holy cow. I have just come to this realization after about 7 weeks of doing this program. There are no women for me to compare myself to. There are no women for me to beat myself up about for not looking like them. There are no women for me to fight against. I am only trying to lift more than my previous self, not the super fine fitness chick on the TV. Two things to take home from this... 1) Stop me if you have heard this one before: Comparison is the thief of joy. The more that we compare ourselves the more we are convinced that we don't measure up and the more miserable we make ourselves in the process. 2) I need to treat every workout as though there are no other chicks. Not because the chicks are bad or because a little competition is bad, but because my fragile ego can't handle it. Recognizing that, admitting it, and working around it will make me more successful in the long run. For now, I am going to continue to BEAST UP! Plus the guys on the video are muscle bound and beautiful, how can I go wrong? The running. Ahhhhh, the running. So, since we last talked I completed a 5k. Not a huge deal except for the fact that I ran in front of people and I averaged an 8 1/2 minute mile. I surprised myself. It was the color run. If you get the chance in your area, I recommend it, it was great fun and as an added bonus you will have a neon blue armpit for at least a week and will blow sparkly boogers for no less than three days. It has spurred me on to sign up for a 10k. It isn't until December so I feel like I have given myself plenty of time to train. I am sticking with my 3-4 days a weeks running schedule and slowly increasing my distance and always working on min/mile time. I can't help but wonder if I like the running because it is solitary as well. The only person I am trying to beat is myself. I'm sensing a theme to my fitness regimes. I welcome any training advice that you experienced runners may have (Mandi & Jenna this means you). Any tips on form would be awesome too. I can't help but think that I could be doing better by myself in that department. That's about it for fitness, just a lifting and a running. Lifting and a running.
Food. Oh, blessed food. I feel like I am on auto pilot these days in the food department. This can be a dangerous place because you can comfortably slip into old habits. But, for right now, I am focusing on eating clean, keeping my portions in check, and not depriving myself when special occasions arise. I am trying not to do too much work out to food comparison math. I don't want it to take over my brain to the point where I am obsessing. I still eat Subway, I still have the occasional alcoholic beverage, I still love jerky. My new favorite is Buffalo Chicken Jerky. It makes my heart sing. I have honestly been more hungry the past few weeks. I am blaming this on a couple things. The weather is cooling off and being the bear that I am I am trying to hibernate. Next, I have upped my training. I am running farther and lifting heavier. I think my body is trying to compensate for that. The trick is to not give into that. I have to continue to keep my portions in check, continue to eat whole foods as much as possible, and I have to listen to my body. If I am a little more hungry, I can add in another healthy snack during the day. I don't need to eat two dinners. Like I said, I am trying not to obsess, just sticking to the simple rules and tuning in to what my gut is actually telling me. Oh, and drinking more water than imaginable. It is easy to back off of the water when the weather cools down, don't do it! Drink more!!
Some interesting food choices that I have been making lately... My Canadian bestie made me lunch one day when I visited her. It was a salad with grated beets, grated carrots, quinoa, mushrooms, and a lovely dressing that has a nutritional yeast base. Who says a salad has to have lettuce? I have been adding back more beets in my diet since then. I have also made a big batch of quinoa to keep in the fridge. I quite like it. It has been a handy little additive for salads and what not. I have found that if I keep a batch of plant protein in the fridge (quinoa, garbanzos, etc.) it makes making dinner at the end of a week day a lot easier. Who knew?
My goals right now are drifting away from just losing weight. I still need to do that. Or losing FAT I should say. If you put a gun to my head I would tell you I have 60 pounds left to go. Most people would tell me that is crazy. I am a deceivingly dense being. I am honestly more worried about being prepped for my 10k. I am working towards boy push-ups and unassisted pull-ups. I want to be in these smoking hot jeans that I bought before I go to NFR and Las Vegas the second week of December. My goals are less about fighting the scale and more about making improvements. I don't actually hate my body right now. It has a gut, the arms are still a little flabby, and my legs are still tree trunks (but they are tree trunks that are starting to show definition). But, BIG BUT, this body carries me for 5.5 miles at a run, it does increasingly heavier squats and bicep curls, it feels pretty darn good once it gets past the morning wake up stiffness. I have to believe that these goals are good ones. Healthy ones. Potentially fun ones.
So, there you have it. I yawn, for why I don't know?
Thanks for tuning in!!!
P.S. This Funny Fat Chic is throwing out a challenge. If any of you get trained up and successfully run The Hot Chocolate Run with me in December I will personally put $100 towards new running shoes for you. Consider yourselves challenged.
Monday, August 3, 2015
The Importance of Failure
This is somewhat unrelated to this blog... But if I really think about it, it's not.
I had to write an admissions essay for the NNU masters program over the weekend. They give you a quote and you have to display your analytical writing skills in a one to two page essay. It was about how you have to fail to learn. I applied it to my professional life, but why doesn't that same theory apply to all the areas of your life. I know I haven't really admitted it, but I have been feeling like I have been failing in my weight (no, FAT) loss journey as of late. I feel like I have let little things sneak back into my life. A weekend cheat day has slipped into 2 or three days. One skipped workout leads to two, regardless of the reason. You know, little things like that. The things that eventually add up to no results or a slump, and if you really don't get it in check, weight (no, FAT) gain. The past couple weeks I have cracked down on my eating. Portion size. Water intake. Clean foods. And you know what, when I went pants shopping yesterday, I have dropped a pants size. I didn't jump on the scale because I didn't want to ruin the moment, but by striving past failure, I made a difference in my body. Below is a copy of my essay. See how it can pertain to you and your life. The quotes that are in it should be read over a couple times to absorb all of their value. Enjoy...
My NNU Admissions Essay:
I had to write an admissions essay for the NNU masters program over the weekend. They give you a quote and you have to display your analytical writing skills in a one to two page essay. It was about how you have to fail to learn. I applied it to my professional life, but why doesn't that same theory apply to all the areas of your life. I know I haven't really admitted it, but I have been feeling like I have been failing in my weight (no, FAT) loss journey as of late. I feel like I have let little things sneak back into my life. A weekend cheat day has slipped into 2 or three days. One skipped workout leads to two, regardless of the reason. You know, little things like that. The things that eventually add up to no results or a slump, and if you really don't get it in check, weight (no, FAT) gain. The past couple weeks I have cracked down on my eating. Portion size. Water intake. Clean foods. And you know what, when I went pants shopping yesterday, I have dropped a pants size. I didn't jump on the scale because I didn't want to ruin the moment, but by striving past failure, I made a difference in my body. Below is a copy of my essay. See how it can pertain to you and your life. The quotes that are in it should be read over a couple times to absorb all of their value. Enjoy...
My NNU Admissions Essay:
To
learn, fail… If nothing ever breaks, you don’t really know how strong it is.
Strike out fear of failure… Reward success and failure equally-punish
inactivity.
~David
Kelley, IDEO
I believe that one good quote
deserves another. The quote from David Kelley brought a celebrated speech to
mind. Theodore Roosevelt spoke of individual citizenship in Paris, France in
1910. He was challenging leaders of democracies to hold their standards high in
an attempt to elevate society as a whole. Lead by example, if you will. He
knocked the legs out from under the pedestal of the privileged man and uplifted
the man that earned his place in society with failures and triumphs. He
emphasized the importance of the everyday man (and woman) that make up the bulk
of society. He made claim to the fact that the extremes in the sense of
individualism versus socialism both fall short of society’s needs and that a middle
ground is where we should lie. While he uttered these words over a hundred
years ago, the intent behind them still holds true today. Here is the portion of his speech that is most
applicable here:
It
is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit
belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by the
dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but
who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great
devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the
end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at
least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those
cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.
~Theodore
Roosevelt
The theme between these two quotes
is the importance of failure. How do we get to an elevated state of failure?
How do we get to that place where we either learn from a scenario with a less
than expected outcome or a place where we see better the value of victory
because we intimately know the ache of defeat? Effort. Valiant effort is the
not only the path to valuable failure, but it is also the path to strength in
victory. The point of both of these quotes is that passivity will obtain no
results. You will not succeed, learn, nor fail by taking a course of inaction.
Both Kelley and Roosevelt allude to point of action as being what is notable.
Action is what positions people to succeed, learn, or fail. Being handed
something freely never has the same impact as earning it honestly. Failing can
drive you to try harder, or approach smarter, until you do obtain your
something. Everyone has a something they want to have in their hand.
My something is being able to make
the most meaningful impact on society in a way that fully employs my skill set,
ambitions, and intellect. Furthering my education is the first step towards
realizing this something. I have not spent my life having things handed to me,
but I may not have always directed myself towards a path that would make full
use of my abilities. I try hard at everything that I do. When I fail, I fail
big. When I win, I win big. Those victories and achievements are always sweeter
because I made the effort to fail in the past. Bad luck is not the sum of
failure. But neither is lack of effort, at least not in my case. Sometimes we
need that failure to show us the correct direction to focus our energies, luck
or no luck. Some might think that I decided to make a 180 degree turn in my
life during my mid-thirties. I don’t believe that in the least. I think that
the jobs that I have had, the education I have undergone, the relationships I
have made and lost have all led me to this point. I am on the course that I
have chosen all along the way. I have not been passive; I have not been
treading lightly. I have been working to get to this point. Going through the
master’s program at NNU is something that I desperately want the chance to fail
at. However, I have no intentions of failing. I have every intention of being
the enthusiastically devoted person in the arena that wants to find out exactly
what my outer limits are. I have every intention of finding out precisely how
strong I am and how that strength can be put forth to better not only myself,
but to better society as a whole.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Playing catch up...
Ummmmm, where have you been Funny Fat Chic???
Its been a busy few weeks. That seems to be the case for everyone this summer. Between work, extracurricular activities, and trying to make the best possible use of the extra daylight hours, it seems like everyone I run into is operating on autopilot and in a hurry. And that is why I love summer. I love to be busy.
So, me, what have I been doing?
Well, I turned 35 a couple weeks ago. It was basically no big deal. Which, as you get older, is exactly what birthdays should be. I felt pretty good about it. I ran 4 miles at lunch that day. That is something that I couldn't even dream of doing when I was turning 34. That has to be some kind of marker that all my hard work has not been for naught. Is that how you say that? Not for nothing? Whatever, you get the idea.
I took last week off from running. I know that this seems to conflict with the epic accomplishments of the previous paragraph, but its ok to take a break sometimes. I had a summer cold. It involved snot, labored breathing, and a fever. I decided it was as good a reason as any to take a little break. I still did the final week of my P90X3. I added in some Natalie Jill workouts from her phone app (which is actually very cool). I am feeling much better this week and I would be ready to get back to running if it weren't for my latent softball injury from this past weekend. WHAT?!?!?! Yep, I hurt my knee running to first base. I heard a decent "SNAP" and then I was non-weight bearing for a few minutes. It doesn't really hurt at all, but if I fully extend it, it just won't hold. I'm going to give it the week. I ordered a brace that should be here Wednesday and we'll see how it holds up next week.
You may have noticed that I said the last week of P90X3. Yep, Tony Horton and I are no longer dating. All in all, I lost 12 pounds in the 3 months with Tony. My inches didn't make any drastic changes. I would like to think that my inches are a little more firm than flab now, but who knows, really. My lackluster results are not all the program's fault. It is BBQ and beer season, both of which play hell with my ability to lose weight. I would recommend this program to anyone who would like to get a formidable strength workout in on a time budget. I would recommend it for any one that would like to be able to do a pull-up or chin-up. I would recommend it for anyone that understands the Three Stooges humor.
I am starting Body Beast today. I wanted to do it in conjunction with my running. I guess I got the cart a little before the horse. I'll let you know what I think. The instructor is new to me. I had a really hard time not rushing back to Shaun T. Insanity Max 30 is next on my list. I miss Shaun T and his uncanny ability to talk about himself in the third person. I think Body Beast will be a great strength trainer. I think that Insanity Max 30 will be a great way to lose weight.
Speaking of losing weight. I read a great article the other day. Why are we all trying to lose weight? If you were a fit size 5 that could do anything physically you wanted to but weighed 280 pounds, would you care? If you were a size 20 and never wanted to get off of the couch but only weighed 130 pounds, would you feel good about yourself? So why are we so hung up on weight? We need to lose fat. Not weight. We need to put less of our eggs in the scale basket and more in the healthy basket. I was a little disappointed at the 12 pounds I lost on P90X3, but why? Of course, its because I want to be skinny and pretty. Guess what... Back in the day when I weighed quite a bit less than I do now, whenever I stepped on my scale, it NEVER one time told me I was pretty. It never applauded the number it flashed at me. It couldn't tell that while I was 60 pounds lighter than I am now, I could only do about half of what I can now physically. So, that is my new creed. I am losing fat and not losing weight. Will I still weigh in? Probably. But I hold less stock in it today than I did yesterday. It carries a lot less weight with me (get it?).
Other than that I have been up to my same old summer antics... shooting weddings, attending concerts, road tripping every chance I get, and of course, working. August looks to be more of the same. The weather has been mild, the people have been awesome, and well, as usual, life is good.
Its been a busy few weeks. That seems to be the case for everyone this summer. Between work, extracurricular activities, and trying to make the best possible use of the extra daylight hours, it seems like everyone I run into is operating on autopilot and in a hurry. And that is why I love summer. I love to be busy.
So, me, what have I been doing?
Well, I turned 35 a couple weeks ago. It was basically no big deal. Which, as you get older, is exactly what birthdays should be. I felt pretty good about it. I ran 4 miles at lunch that day. That is something that I couldn't even dream of doing when I was turning 34. That has to be some kind of marker that all my hard work has not been for naught. Is that how you say that? Not for nothing? Whatever, you get the idea.
I took last week off from running. I know that this seems to conflict with the epic accomplishments of the previous paragraph, but its ok to take a break sometimes. I had a summer cold. It involved snot, labored breathing, and a fever. I decided it was as good a reason as any to take a little break. I still did the final week of my P90X3. I added in some Natalie Jill workouts from her phone app (which is actually very cool). I am feeling much better this week and I would be ready to get back to running if it weren't for my latent softball injury from this past weekend. WHAT?!?!?! Yep, I hurt my knee running to first base. I heard a decent "SNAP" and then I was non-weight bearing for a few minutes. It doesn't really hurt at all, but if I fully extend it, it just won't hold. I'm going to give it the week. I ordered a brace that should be here Wednesday and we'll see how it holds up next week.
You may have noticed that I said the last week of P90X3. Yep, Tony Horton and I are no longer dating. All in all, I lost 12 pounds in the 3 months with Tony. My inches didn't make any drastic changes. I would like to think that my inches are a little more firm than flab now, but who knows, really. My lackluster results are not all the program's fault. It is BBQ and beer season, both of which play hell with my ability to lose weight. I would recommend this program to anyone who would like to get a formidable strength workout in on a time budget. I would recommend it for any one that would like to be able to do a pull-up or chin-up. I would recommend it for anyone that understands the Three Stooges humor.
I am starting Body Beast today. I wanted to do it in conjunction with my running. I guess I got the cart a little before the horse. I'll let you know what I think. The instructor is new to me. I had a really hard time not rushing back to Shaun T. Insanity Max 30 is next on my list. I miss Shaun T and his uncanny ability to talk about himself in the third person. I think Body Beast will be a great strength trainer. I think that Insanity Max 30 will be a great way to lose weight.
Speaking of losing weight. I read a great article the other day. Why are we all trying to lose weight? If you were a fit size 5 that could do anything physically you wanted to but weighed 280 pounds, would you care? If you were a size 20 and never wanted to get off of the couch but only weighed 130 pounds, would you feel good about yourself? So why are we so hung up on weight? We need to lose fat. Not weight. We need to put less of our eggs in the scale basket and more in the healthy basket. I was a little disappointed at the 12 pounds I lost on P90X3, but why? Of course, its because I want to be skinny and pretty. Guess what... Back in the day when I weighed quite a bit less than I do now, whenever I stepped on my scale, it NEVER one time told me I was pretty. It never applauded the number it flashed at me. It couldn't tell that while I was 60 pounds lighter than I am now, I could only do about half of what I can now physically. So, that is my new creed. I am losing fat and not losing weight. Will I still weigh in? Probably. But I hold less stock in it today than I did yesterday. It carries a lot less weight with me (get it?).
Other than that I have been up to my same old summer antics... shooting weddings, attending concerts, road tripping every chance I get, and of course, working. August looks to be more of the same. The weather has been mild, the people have been awesome, and well, as usual, life is good.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
I think I'm in LOVE.
So, I have been seeing this guy for awhile now.
No, not the guy from the bar.
It's been going on a little longer than that. I only get to see him once every couple of weeks due to circumstances out of our control.
He is a little younger than me. He's foreign. He has dark hair and nice eyes. He is gentle and firm. He rubs my feet, and as those of you that know me well, nobody touches my feet. He doesn't talk a whole lot and doesn't expect me talk much either. When he does he always imparts some life wisdom on me. He does ask me some questions every now and again. He's getting to know me slowly but surely. I ALWAYS feel better after I see him. I ALWAYS feel prettier after I see him. I'm beginning to feel committed to him.
If only he wasn't my nail guy.... ;)
P.S. Just in case you didn't read between the lines, go back and read that whole thing with a tone of sarcasm. Although if I ever found a guy that was as reliable as my nail guy, I just might think about being committed.
No, not the guy from the bar.
It's been going on a little longer than that. I only get to see him once every couple of weeks due to circumstances out of our control.
He is a little younger than me. He's foreign. He has dark hair and nice eyes. He is gentle and firm. He rubs my feet, and as those of you that know me well, nobody touches my feet. He doesn't talk a whole lot and doesn't expect me talk much either. When he does he always imparts some life wisdom on me. He does ask me some questions every now and again. He's getting to know me slowly but surely. I ALWAYS feel better after I see him. I ALWAYS feel prettier after I see him. I'm beginning to feel committed to him.
If only he wasn't my nail guy.... ;)
P.S. Just in case you didn't read between the lines, go back and read that whole thing with a tone of sarcasm. Although if I ever found a guy that was as reliable as my nail guy, I just might think about being committed.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
On the hunt...
Did you know I was a hunter???
I am. My love of the great outdoors and my redneck upbringing means that I have been hunting since I was a kid. I also happen to like game. It is a great source of lean protein. But I digress.
I have been on the hunt for some time to find an example of a body image that I would like to embody. The people at Beach Body are great and I realize that they are real people, but they are also fitness models. They try-out to be on the videos, they are the people in Fitness Magazine and Men's Health. They make the cover of magazines because of their incredibly fit (and lean) bodies. My hat is off to them. They are all amazing athletes. But, and here is the but, if I am looking for a body type to work towards, a body to compare myself to, it is HIGHLY unlikely that I will ever achieve their level of fitness or their version of lean. Now, I know that I have preached time and time again that comparison is the thief of joy. Still true. But it is also important to have a goal and to be able to visualize that goal. That is what I am trying to do here.
The first person I found was at the cancer center. Sitting around waiting with Gram, I decided to pick up something to read. Enter Ronda Rousey. She too is on the cover of a magazine, but she is far from skinny and far from being a fitness model. She is UFC all-star Ronda Rousey. She is changing the face of UFC fighting and changing body image standards for women everywhere. She is tough, yet sensitive, motivated, successful, and hard-working. She is on the go ALL. THE. TIME. She doesn't just have a booming fight career, but she is now popping up in action movies all over the place. She has also been an Olympic medalist. Her income from films far trumps what she makes as a fighter, but fighting is still her top priority. Why? Because she is an athlete, she is the best at what she does, and she loves every minute of it. She looks strong, not cut. She looks like she isn't afraid to eat a cheeseburger every so often and can still run five miles if she needs to. She has actual thighs. That's what I want. Healthy. Strong. Normal.
The second body I found wasn't actually found by me. I saw a link to this article on FB. An old friend of mine tagged her teenage daughter to have her read it. I thought it was genius. This gal is also an Olympic athlete. Hammer thrower, Amanda Bingson. She is a stud. Her attitude is what we should all strive for. She loves every bit of her body and makes no apologies for one inch of it. In the article she is shown throwing the hammer... Naked. I'm not going to be able to say it any better than she does in this article. I recommend the read. Long story short, she too is strong, healthy, and normal. She has an A-mazing outlook on her self-image and I hope that she medals when she goes to the next Olympics. I know I'll be cheering for her!
http://espn.go.com/olympics/story/_/page/bodyamandabingson/hammer-thrower-amanda-bingson-says-athletes-come-all-shapes-sizes-espn-magazine-body-issue
So, the hunt is over. I found two spectacular women to model my fitness regime after. I'm gonna keep on trucking until I have at least an ounce of the confidence and presence that these women have. I salute them for being the faces (and bodies) for women and girls to look up to.
I am. My love of the great outdoors and my redneck upbringing means that I have been hunting since I was a kid. I also happen to like game. It is a great source of lean protein. But I digress.
I have been on the hunt for some time to find an example of a body image that I would like to embody. The people at Beach Body are great and I realize that they are real people, but they are also fitness models. They try-out to be on the videos, they are the people in Fitness Magazine and Men's Health. They make the cover of magazines because of their incredibly fit (and lean) bodies. My hat is off to them. They are all amazing athletes. But, and here is the but, if I am looking for a body type to work towards, a body to compare myself to, it is HIGHLY unlikely that I will ever achieve their level of fitness or their version of lean. Now, I know that I have preached time and time again that comparison is the thief of joy. Still true. But it is also important to have a goal and to be able to visualize that goal. That is what I am trying to do here.
The first person I found was at the cancer center. Sitting around waiting with Gram, I decided to pick up something to read. Enter Ronda Rousey. She too is on the cover of a magazine, but she is far from skinny and far from being a fitness model. She is UFC all-star Ronda Rousey. She is changing the face of UFC fighting and changing body image standards for women everywhere. She is tough, yet sensitive, motivated, successful, and hard-working. She is on the go ALL. THE. TIME. She doesn't just have a booming fight career, but she is now popping up in action movies all over the place. She has also been an Olympic medalist. Her income from films far trumps what she makes as a fighter, but fighting is still her top priority. Why? Because she is an athlete, she is the best at what she does, and she loves every minute of it. She looks strong, not cut. She looks like she isn't afraid to eat a cheeseburger every so often and can still run five miles if she needs to. She has actual thighs. That's what I want. Healthy. Strong. Normal.
The second body I found wasn't actually found by me. I saw a link to this article on FB. An old friend of mine tagged her teenage daughter to have her read it. I thought it was genius. This gal is also an Olympic athlete. Hammer thrower, Amanda Bingson. She is a stud. Her attitude is what we should all strive for. She loves every bit of her body and makes no apologies for one inch of it. In the article she is shown throwing the hammer... Naked. I'm not going to be able to say it any better than she does in this article. I recommend the read. Long story short, she too is strong, healthy, and normal. She has an A-mazing outlook on her self-image and I hope that she medals when she goes to the next Olympics. I know I'll be cheering for her!
http://espn.go.com/olympics/story/_/page/bodyamandabingson/hammer-thrower-amanda-bingson-says-athletes-come-all-shapes-sizes-espn-magazine-body-issue
So, the hunt is over. I found two spectacular women to model my fitness regime after. I'm gonna keep on trucking until I have at least an ounce of the confidence and presence that these women have. I salute them for being the faces (and bodies) for women and girls to look up to.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Housekeeping
Is there anything worse than cleaning your house during the summer? I HATE it! I live like a tornado in the summer, mostly using my house to sleep in and prepare the occassional meal. The weather is gorgeous, I LOVE the summer heat, and I just don't want to be in my house. But as most tornadoes do, I leave a big mess in my wake. In attempt to avoid my physical housework, I thought I would take a minute and do a little of my housekeeping here.
First things first, I was supposed to give you guys some numbers this week. If you go back to the last set of numbers I gave you, you will find what you need. Nothing has changed measurement wise. I have maintained my weight, and my inches. Now, before you do a collective sigh and feel sorry for me, don't. I had a feeling that I was hitting a rut. I have felt a little bit rutt-ish in my workouts and my eating. And if we are being honest, and I like to think that we are here at The Final Fifty, I have been living like weekends are calorie free excursions. There have been BBQ's, birthday parties (apparently a lot of people get knocked up 9 months before summertime), and there has been some alcohol consumption. I made myself a deal though, I am not going to torture my psyche all summer long by avoiding all the above situations and not partaking in them to some degree. I do however feel fitter than my last round of measurements. Absolutely fitter. I can run farther (and faster... average of 9.5 minute miles now instead of 11 minutes), I can lift with more ease and even lift more (new dumbbells are on my shopping list). Even though the numbers haven't really changed, I feel like I have changed. I also feel like I am walking around feeling a little more confident (insert:about my body) than usual. Whether that new feeling is justified or not, who knows, but I'm gonna hang on to it for as long as I can.
I have had a crazy couple of days... Three days to be exact, so I guess I should call it a few. I went and saw one of my favorite bands on Thursday night. I went with some friends outside of my normal crew. We had a fabulous time and I wondered to myself why we don't all do stuff together more often. I'm adding these people to my social to-do list. Two very interesting things happened that evening. First, I had a lady get in my face and scream at me because of my hair. She was not a very nice person to say the least. I am not the kind of person that people (especially random strangers) yells at. I was so shocked I think I stood there for a good minute before I picked up my dropped jaw and managed a retort. She claimed that she couldn't see the concert because of my big (expletive) hair. I finally told her that I didn't know how to respond to that as my hair has its own fan base and people usually like it better than they like me. She finally backed off after I cracked a few more jokes at her that brought the ridiculousness of her outburst to light. I partied on, she stewed about it, nobody got scratched, no hair got pulled, no punches where thrown. We after partied at a local bar. This is where interesting thing number two happened. I lost a limbo contest (get low, get low) to a very cute, very young guy with dark curly hair. When the bar shut down, I let loose a little bit and made out with him in the parking lot. Yep, I acted for a blissful minute like I was 10 years younger (and 10 years hotter). When I woke up Friday morning after 2 whole hours of sleep with two hickeys on my neck, I hung my head in shame. But then I thought, what did I actually do wrong. Answer is... NOTHING. I didn't let anything get to an undignified state, I had FUN, and there was no harm, no foul. So, yep, or the first time in about 20 years I have the neck of a naughty teenager. So sue me. {Disclaimer: for those of you reading this, you may have noticed I didn't mention any names. If you are able to connect the dots, keep that dirty little secret to yourself and don't spoil my fun :) please.}
After pulling myself moderately together, I had to take Gram to chemo by 8:30am and then after that I headed out to second shoot a wedding for my best friend. After gram's chemo I went on a run and sweated out all my shame and a good portion of my whiskey. We shot a beautiful wedding and I was home again in the wee hours of the morning instead the late hours of the evening. Then yesterday, I had a wedding of my own to shoot. Not mine, that kinda sounded like it was my wedding. It was a wedding of my own clients I should say. It was 106 degrees here yesterday. I actually sweated all the way through my clothes. Twice. I looked like someone turned a hose on me. Over the course of the past two days I have only peed once. That is how much I have sweated. Today, I am laying low to say the least. I will say one thing about the little whirlwind that I have been on. I am so thankful that I have made the effort to get into shape and have fueled myself with healthy food. I had a foundation to work off of that kept me from being completely miserable over the past few days. My body could take the torture because I have tortured it much worse than that for a lot longer.
I want to talk for a second about my best friend. Some of this is gonna sound mushy. Some of it is gonna sound philosophical. I just told you a very entertaining and embarrassing story about myself, so now you get to bare with me for a minute. Have you ever known an incredibly talented person that had no idea of the reach of their abilities? My best friend is a photographer, like me, but that is by and far not all that she is. She is a wife, a daughter, and mother (most importantly), a stall cleaner, a business manager, and last but not least a friend. She asked me to second shoot this wedding with her. I first thought that it was just to be a second shooter, catch the things that she couldn't be two places at the same time for. Which I happily did. I am a photographer after all, I like to pick up my camera. But I was really there to support her. Support her as a friend. Here is the thing about taking pictures. It is true for me whether I am shooting a landscape, an adorable family, or two people in love. There is a piece of me in every photograph. I am not just recording a moment in time. I want you to see what I see and how I see it. I want you to not only look through my lens, I want you to look through my eyes, and I want you to use the filter of my soul to do it. My best friend leaves a little more of herself in every picture than most do. She has a special way of bringing beauty to light and shedding light on beauty. This wedding was for her husband's (another one of my BEST friends) baby sister. This takes up the intensity by a 1,000%. You not only know and love these people, but they are family. Your want-to to make these images be the best ones that you have ever taken is so strong that it can almost paralyze you. It will make you second guess your judgement all day long. It will make you convinced that you didn't get a shot off long before you bother to go home and even look at a single image. This was my best friend's gift to the bride and groom. And while some might think, oh that's nice, they got a free photographer, I know what she really gave them. She was giving them the type of images to remember their day by that only she could give them. She was the only person on the planet that could record the union of their love because she has watched it develop and grow from the very beginning. She is going to give them images that show how much she completely adores this couple with every click of her shutter. They are going to see themselves through the eye of one of the people that loves them most. She was the only person for that job. So, instead of sitting comfortably enjoying a cold beverage and catching up with her family, she sweated, she walked a thousand miles in the wrong shoes, she changed clothes in her car, she watched her kids be a part of a wedding through her lens instead through her eyes (there is a difference), she ate her dinner in under a minute, she did all the cat herding that comes with photographing a wedding party, she stressed about light (or lack there of), she fended off the event coordinator, and at the end of the day, she nailed it. She gave them a gift that only she could give. Because THAT is how amazing she is.
I don't know if I should hope that you guys had the same kind of weekend I did or not. I do hope that you had fun. I sure did. Stay cool. Drink your water.
First things first, I was supposed to give you guys some numbers this week. If you go back to the last set of numbers I gave you, you will find what you need. Nothing has changed measurement wise. I have maintained my weight, and my inches. Now, before you do a collective sigh and feel sorry for me, don't. I had a feeling that I was hitting a rut. I have felt a little bit rutt-ish in my workouts and my eating. And if we are being honest, and I like to think that we are here at The Final Fifty, I have been living like weekends are calorie free excursions. There have been BBQ's, birthday parties (apparently a lot of people get knocked up 9 months before summertime), and there has been some alcohol consumption. I made myself a deal though, I am not going to torture my psyche all summer long by avoiding all the above situations and not partaking in them to some degree. I do however feel fitter than my last round of measurements. Absolutely fitter. I can run farther (and faster... average of 9.5 minute miles now instead of 11 minutes), I can lift with more ease and even lift more (new dumbbells are on my shopping list). Even though the numbers haven't really changed, I feel like I have changed. I also feel like I am walking around feeling a little more confident (insert:about my body) than usual. Whether that new feeling is justified or not, who knows, but I'm gonna hang on to it for as long as I can.
I have had a crazy couple of days... Three days to be exact, so I guess I should call it a few. I went and saw one of my favorite bands on Thursday night. I went with some friends outside of my normal crew. We had a fabulous time and I wondered to myself why we don't all do stuff together more often. I'm adding these people to my social to-do list. Two very interesting things happened that evening. First, I had a lady get in my face and scream at me because of my hair. She was not a very nice person to say the least. I am not the kind of person that people (especially random strangers) yells at. I was so shocked I think I stood there for a good minute before I picked up my dropped jaw and managed a retort. She claimed that she couldn't see the concert because of my big (expletive) hair. I finally told her that I didn't know how to respond to that as my hair has its own fan base and people usually like it better than they like me. She finally backed off after I cracked a few more jokes at her that brought the ridiculousness of her outburst to light. I partied on, she stewed about it, nobody got scratched, no hair got pulled, no punches where thrown. We after partied at a local bar. This is where interesting thing number two happened. I lost a limbo contest (get low, get low) to a very cute, very young guy with dark curly hair. When the bar shut down, I let loose a little bit and made out with him in the parking lot. Yep, I acted for a blissful minute like I was 10 years younger (and 10 years hotter). When I woke up Friday morning after 2 whole hours of sleep with two hickeys on my neck, I hung my head in shame. But then I thought, what did I actually do wrong. Answer is... NOTHING. I didn't let anything get to an undignified state, I had FUN, and there was no harm, no foul. So, yep, or the first time in about 20 years I have the neck of a naughty teenager. So sue me. {Disclaimer: for those of you reading this, you may have noticed I didn't mention any names. If you are able to connect the dots, keep that dirty little secret to yourself and don't spoil my fun :) please.}
After pulling myself moderately together, I had to take Gram to chemo by 8:30am and then after that I headed out to second shoot a wedding for my best friend. After gram's chemo I went on a run and sweated out all my shame and a good portion of my whiskey. We shot a beautiful wedding and I was home again in the wee hours of the morning instead the late hours of the evening. Then yesterday, I had a wedding of my own to shoot. Not mine, that kinda sounded like it was my wedding. It was a wedding of my own clients I should say. It was 106 degrees here yesterday. I actually sweated all the way through my clothes. Twice. I looked like someone turned a hose on me. Over the course of the past two days I have only peed once. That is how much I have sweated. Today, I am laying low to say the least. I will say one thing about the little whirlwind that I have been on. I am so thankful that I have made the effort to get into shape and have fueled myself with healthy food. I had a foundation to work off of that kept me from being completely miserable over the past few days. My body could take the torture because I have tortured it much worse than that for a lot longer.
I want to talk for a second about my best friend. Some of this is gonna sound mushy. Some of it is gonna sound philosophical. I just told you a very entertaining and embarrassing story about myself, so now you get to bare with me for a minute. Have you ever known an incredibly talented person that had no idea of the reach of their abilities? My best friend is a photographer, like me, but that is by and far not all that she is. She is a wife, a daughter, and mother (most importantly), a stall cleaner, a business manager, and last but not least a friend. She asked me to second shoot this wedding with her. I first thought that it was just to be a second shooter, catch the things that she couldn't be two places at the same time for. Which I happily did. I am a photographer after all, I like to pick up my camera. But I was really there to support her. Support her as a friend. Here is the thing about taking pictures. It is true for me whether I am shooting a landscape, an adorable family, or two people in love. There is a piece of me in every photograph. I am not just recording a moment in time. I want you to see what I see and how I see it. I want you to not only look through my lens, I want you to look through my eyes, and I want you to use the filter of my soul to do it. My best friend leaves a little more of herself in every picture than most do. She has a special way of bringing beauty to light and shedding light on beauty. This wedding was for her husband's (another one of my BEST friends) baby sister. This takes up the intensity by a 1,000%. You not only know and love these people, but they are family. Your want-to to make these images be the best ones that you have ever taken is so strong that it can almost paralyze you. It will make you second guess your judgement all day long. It will make you convinced that you didn't get a shot off long before you bother to go home and even look at a single image. This was my best friend's gift to the bride and groom. And while some might think, oh that's nice, they got a free photographer, I know what she really gave them. She was giving them the type of images to remember their day by that only she could give them. She was the only person on the planet that could record the union of their love because she has watched it develop and grow from the very beginning. She is going to give them images that show how much she completely adores this couple with every click of her shutter. They are going to see themselves through the eye of one of the people that loves them most. She was the only person for that job. So, instead of sitting comfortably enjoying a cold beverage and catching up with her family, she sweated, she walked a thousand miles in the wrong shoes, she changed clothes in her car, she watched her kids be a part of a wedding through her lens instead through her eyes (there is a difference), she ate her dinner in under a minute, she did all the cat herding that comes with photographing a wedding party, she stressed about light (or lack there of), she fended off the event coordinator, and at the end of the day, she nailed it. She gave them a gift that only she could give. Because THAT is how amazing she is.
I don't know if I should hope that you guys had the same kind of weekend I did or not. I do hope that you had fun. I sure did. Stay cool. Drink your water.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
I've Noticed A Few Things
Hey... I'm gonna give you another list. I like lists. They keep me from rambling. They are organized. Or at least they pretend to be. You can talk about them later with ease... "Hey did you see #8 of The Final Fifty list? That girl is crazy!" They are a good way to talk about several different things without having to seamlessly transition in between. It's cheating for writers. Rambling over, list beginning in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
#1 I noticed as I was walking today (it wasn't a running day) that my elbows no longer hit my fat sides when I walk. They not only don't hit, but they don't even brush up against. Is it possible that I am getting a waist? You know, that space between arms and midsections in silhouettes of women. What the heck do I do with one of those? Wear a belt?? No way. But it's nice to have my elbows freed up.
#2 I realized today that I have not had any back pain in quite some time! Further proof that my back pain is entirely preventable by taking care of myself. No drugs, no adjustments, no other therapies. Just good old exercise and decent nutrition. Go figure.
#3 I am two days behind on my P90X3. I have a semi-good reason for this. Last Friday before I headed up to my best friend's for my honorary niece's birthday I was riding my two year old colt that I am just starting. He stumbled and then really tripped and then did an ass-over-tea-kettle somersault and then landed on his side on my leg. I have been a little bruised up and I seemed to hurt my shoulder/collarbone. All injuries are a long ways from my heart and I am going to be just fine. But, I took an extra couple days to try and let things settle back where they should go. I plan on catching up the two workouts this weekend. It's a weigh-in day on Sunday or Monday. Eeeek. So look for some numbers coming your way. In the mean time, enjoy my awesome bruises!! P.S. It looks a lot worse than it feels.
#4 I have been thinking about the word single a lot lately. I get saddled with that term quite often. Its most basic meaning is alone. And sometimes I feel alone. I have chosen relatively solitary jobs. I spend most of my evenings alone with my dogs (but they are awesome dogs). I work out alone. I am a social creature normally, but apparently I appreciate solitude. Most of the time I am the social event planner in my circle of friends. A role I love to take on! Lately when I have been on social outings I am there, but I feel a little withdrawn. I think that cancer in your life does that to you. But, really, if you think about it, any crisis in life can do that to you. Money problems? First thing you do is withdraw yourself and tell yourself you can't do anything because you don't have any money. Trouble on the home front? Time to retreat and spend more time at home and less time around other people. Put on some weight? Time to hideout and make sure no one gets the opportunity to see it until you get it off. The list goes on. Is this a survival instinct? Is this our way of protecting ourselves and our feelings? Is it an instinct that we should fight? I think so. I am going to work harder at being more present. I am not going to skip fun things because I don't deserve it or because there is cancer actively happening in my family. Why does one thing have to do with another? I have a girlfriend that invited me to her son's t-ball games and brought her boys over to see me the other night. Just to visit. She didn't need anything from me. In fact she was bringing me stuff for Gram to try for her nausea. She has no idea how bad I needed that visit. How bad I needed those t-ball games. She has seen cancer up close and personal. She knows how it can take over your life. Maybe she did know how bad I needed to just sit in the shade and chit chat. I am grateful to her for that. I think it brought me back to reality a little bit and convinced me to quit being such a hermit. I had another girlfriend come on a run with me. I almost killed her from heat stroke. But it was so very nice to have a partner to run with. I also visited my bestie last weekend. We shopped, we threw a party, we hiked. Seeing her and her family always helps. ALWAYS.
#5 Shaun T said something interesting today on his podcast. He said that the body you have is the one you deserve. He was speaking in the context that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. He's right. I deserve everything that I think is right and everything that I think is wrong with my body. I have sweated, fought, and battled for the muscles and I have eaten my way to the fat. I have eared every ounce of both. I need to be more accepting of that so that I stay happy in my workouts and don't view them as a means to an end. There is no end to fitness, just continual progress.
#6 I don't think I like chia seeds. I have been trying to like them because they are a GREAT source of well-rounded plant protein. But, they freak me out. They start as seeds, and then somehow turn into weird little gel coated things in my mouth. They also like to reside between my teeth. They have literally no flavor, so all I have to go on is the texture. And, I don't like the texture.
#7 Tomorrow marks the start of concert season for me. Willie Nelson. Don't be a jealous hater. I'm taking Mom and Gram. It is going to be nice to take Gram to something besides chemo or grocery shopping. She will wave at Willie like he is singing to her. I know this because she does it at every concert I've ever taken her to. This time though, instead of being embarrassed, I am going to wave with her because he will be singing to her.
#8 It is going to top a hundred next week. I am secretly excited about this. I LOVE the heat.
#9 My new favorite dessert is a bowl of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a drizzle of raw honey and a splash of almond milk. Sweet (the good kind), full of fiber, and oh-so-tasty! Give it a try. I know berries can be a little pricey but no more spendy than a a run to the store for a tub of ice cream can be. Speaking of, on my way home from Oregon over the weekend I stopped and had a mini Blizzard at Dairy Queen. I don't even feel bad about it. Jurassic smash-up was the flavor if you were curious.
#10 Refer to #8. It is getting hot out there. All the more reason to drink your water. Lots of it. Put some lemon in it. Put some mint in it. Put some cucumber in it. Whatever blows your skirt up besides the a/c vent.
#1 I noticed as I was walking today (it wasn't a running day) that my elbows no longer hit my fat sides when I walk. They not only don't hit, but they don't even brush up against. Is it possible that I am getting a waist? You know, that space between arms and midsections in silhouettes of women. What the heck do I do with one of those? Wear a belt?? No way. But it's nice to have my elbows freed up.
#2 I realized today that I have not had any back pain in quite some time! Further proof that my back pain is entirely preventable by taking care of myself. No drugs, no adjustments, no other therapies. Just good old exercise and decent nutrition. Go figure.
#3 I am two days behind on my P90X3. I have a semi-good reason for this. Last Friday before I headed up to my best friend's for my honorary niece's birthday I was riding my two year old colt that I am just starting. He stumbled and then really tripped and then did an ass-over-tea-kettle somersault and then landed on his side on my leg. I have been a little bruised up and I seemed to hurt my shoulder/collarbone. All injuries are a long ways from my heart and I am going to be just fine. But, I took an extra couple days to try and let things settle back where they should go. I plan on catching up the two workouts this weekend. It's a weigh-in day on Sunday or Monday. Eeeek. So look for some numbers coming your way. In the mean time, enjoy my awesome bruises!! P.S. It looks a lot worse than it feels.
#5 Shaun T said something interesting today on his podcast. He said that the body you have is the one you deserve. He was speaking in the context that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. He's right. I deserve everything that I think is right and everything that I think is wrong with my body. I have sweated, fought, and battled for the muscles and I have eaten my way to the fat. I have eared every ounce of both. I need to be more accepting of that so that I stay happy in my workouts and don't view them as a means to an end. There is no end to fitness, just continual progress.
#6 I don't think I like chia seeds. I have been trying to like them because they are a GREAT source of well-rounded plant protein. But, they freak me out. They start as seeds, and then somehow turn into weird little gel coated things in my mouth. They also like to reside between my teeth. They have literally no flavor, so all I have to go on is the texture. And, I don't like the texture.
#7 Tomorrow marks the start of concert season for me. Willie Nelson. Don't be a jealous hater. I'm taking Mom and Gram. It is going to be nice to take Gram to something besides chemo or grocery shopping. She will wave at Willie like he is singing to her. I know this because she does it at every concert I've ever taken her to. This time though, instead of being embarrassed, I am going to wave with her because he will be singing to her.
#8 It is going to top a hundred next week. I am secretly excited about this. I LOVE the heat.
#9 My new favorite dessert is a bowl of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a drizzle of raw honey and a splash of almond milk. Sweet (the good kind), full of fiber, and oh-so-tasty! Give it a try. I know berries can be a little pricey but no more spendy than a a run to the store for a tub of ice cream can be. Speaking of, on my way home from Oregon over the weekend I stopped and had a mini Blizzard at Dairy Queen. I don't even feel bad about it. Jurassic smash-up was the flavor if you were curious.
#10 Refer to #8. It is getting hot out there. All the more reason to drink your water. Lots of it. Put some lemon in it. Put some mint in it. Put some cucumber in it. Whatever blows your skirt up besides the a/c vent.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Feeling Like A Little List
Hey Gang! We haven't had a good list in awhile...
1) I started wearing men's deodorant. I am a sweater. Not a woolen, cozy clothing item that you wear in the winter. A person that perspires, profusely. Like I just started thinking about sweating and now I am sweating. I also get cold easily, so it is a weird dichotomy in my life. None-the-less, there are no women's deodorants that can keep up with my sweating in the summer. Since it went from Spring to Summer basically overnight here in Southern Idaho, here I am sweaty and stinky. Enter Old Spice Sport edition. I feel better about raising my arm already. Oh wait, is that the Sure commercial?
2) I don't want, or like, to use this blog as a political forum, so I will keep this list item short and sweet. With Gram's cancer and chemo and all the fun stuff that goes with it, I am getting an up close and personal taste of all the things that are eff-ed up with our health care system. There are a lot. That is all.
3) My belly doesn't hit the back of my saddle horn when I ride anymore. Bonus. Mind you, I still have plenty of belly to go around, but I'm no longer donning a round bruise in my midsection.
4) In reference to #3... I have been riding more! I missed it. I like my ponies that I have right now and even though I am just getting them legged up (or started) and not really training for any big event, it feels good to be getting something done with them besides just throwing hay at them and wishing them the best.
5) I never feel so accomplished as I do after a run. I am getting more addicted to the running. I always feel like I really did something and really tried hard at doing something after I get back from a run. Whether that is shedding pounds off of me or not, it has to be a good thing for my health and mental well-being. I think I'll keep after it. I'm even thinking about signing up for a race. Right now my focus is to improve my minutes/mile. New goal... after I get under 200# I want to train for a 10k. If you hear me start saying the words half-marathon or marathon, it might be time for an intervention.
6) I am sooooooo happy it is summer. Some people hate the heat, I LOVE it. Like really, really love it. I have to wear sweatshirts in A/C. I once had a good friend tell me that bacon always looks/smells better in the frying pan than it does in the refrigerator. Needless to say, I am frying my bacon (insert getting a tan). Looks better, yes, smells better, well, refer to #1 of the list.
7) Is there any worse feeling in the world than feeling unwelcome somewhere? I had someone make me feel that way last week and I hated it. It made me a little sad, then it made me a little mad. I would like all of you to pinky swear that if I EVER make you feel that way please not only tell me, but feel free to give my behind a swift kick!!
8) Speaking of my behind, I feel like it might be a couple inches higher off the ground these days. Did I get taller? Are you wondering if I started wearing wedge heels everywhere I go?? No to all of the above. I think that the working out is paying off a little and my saggy/flabby arse is maybe a little less saggy and a little less flabby.
10) This post would not be complete without a mention of Slack. I got a new puppy. He was supposed to be a birthday present for my mom, but he has clearly chosen me as his person. He loves her too, but he loves me more. You know, because a puppy's love is most definitely a competition. He is little, and ferocious, and cuddly, and spotted, and smart, and has just enough German in him to be obstinate. I am putting extra effort in to make sure that Wiener and Camo still feel special. They are a little bowed up that Slack gets to go to work with me, but how else will I get him potty trained?? Plus, they are wiener dogs, no matter what I do they are gonna be bowed up about it.
11) Thanks for staying tuned-in! I know the personal posts are fewer and farther in between these days, but I promise, when I have something to say you guys will hear it. Keep drinking your water, keep moving your feet, and enjoy the heck out of this summer heat. (I know I just rhymed a little right there, don't hold it against me).
1) I started wearing men's deodorant. I am a sweater. Not a woolen, cozy clothing item that you wear in the winter. A person that perspires, profusely. Like I just started thinking about sweating and now I am sweating. I also get cold easily, so it is a weird dichotomy in my life. None-the-less, there are no women's deodorants that can keep up with my sweating in the summer. Since it went from Spring to Summer basically overnight here in Southern Idaho, here I am sweaty and stinky. Enter Old Spice Sport edition. I feel better about raising my arm already. Oh wait, is that the Sure commercial?
2) I don't want, or like, to use this blog as a political forum, so I will keep this list item short and sweet. With Gram's cancer and chemo and all the fun stuff that goes with it, I am getting an up close and personal taste of all the things that are eff-ed up with our health care system. There are a lot. That is all.
3) My belly doesn't hit the back of my saddle horn when I ride anymore. Bonus. Mind you, I still have plenty of belly to go around, but I'm no longer donning a round bruise in my midsection.
4) In reference to #3... I have been riding more! I missed it. I like my ponies that I have right now and even though I am just getting them legged up (or started) and not really training for any big event, it feels good to be getting something done with them besides just throwing hay at them and wishing them the best.
5) I never feel so accomplished as I do after a run. I am getting more addicted to the running. I always feel like I really did something and really tried hard at doing something after I get back from a run. Whether that is shedding pounds off of me or not, it has to be a good thing for my health and mental well-being. I think I'll keep after it. I'm even thinking about signing up for a race. Right now my focus is to improve my minutes/mile. New goal... after I get under 200# I want to train for a 10k. If you hear me start saying the words half-marathon or marathon, it might be time for an intervention.
6) I am sooooooo happy it is summer. Some people hate the heat, I LOVE it. Like really, really love it. I have to wear sweatshirts in A/C. I once had a good friend tell me that bacon always looks/smells better in the frying pan than it does in the refrigerator. Needless to say, I am frying my bacon (insert getting a tan). Looks better, yes, smells better, well, refer to #1 of the list.
7) Is there any worse feeling in the world than feeling unwelcome somewhere? I had someone make me feel that way last week and I hated it. It made me a little sad, then it made me a little mad. I would like all of you to pinky swear that if I EVER make you feel that way please not only tell me, but feel free to give my behind a swift kick!!
8) Speaking of my behind, I feel like it might be a couple inches higher off the ground these days. Did I get taller? Are you wondering if I started wearing wedge heels everywhere I go?? No to all of the above. I think that the working out is paying off a little and my saggy/flabby arse is maybe a little less saggy and a little less flabby.
10) This post would not be complete without a mention of Slack. I got a new puppy. He was supposed to be a birthday present for my mom, but he has clearly chosen me as his person. He loves her too, but he loves me more. You know, because a puppy's love is most definitely a competition. He is little, and ferocious, and cuddly, and spotted, and smart, and has just enough German in him to be obstinate. I am putting extra effort in to make sure that Wiener and Camo still feel special. They are a little bowed up that Slack gets to go to work with me, but how else will I get him potty trained?? Plus, they are wiener dogs, no matter what I do they are gonna be bowed up about it.
11) Thanks for staying tuned-in! I know the personal posts are fewer and farther in between these days, but I promise, when I have something to say you guys will hear it. Keep drinking your water, keep moving your feet, and enjoy the heck out of this summer heat. (I know I just rhymed a little right there, don't hold it against me).
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Keeping it real.
I'm about to tell you a story that is Too Much Information. But, we like to keep it real around here at The Final Fifty, so consider yourselves fairly warned.
I think I told you guys that I was road tripping this weekend to photograph a wedding in Colorado. It was 13 hours in the car yesterday. We did stop off for a little hike that involved circumventing three rattle snakes. I was less than impressed. I am determined not to fall behind in my running or workout programs while travelling so this morning I got up early and went for a run. Yesterday we were playing trivia in the car. One of the questions was to define homeostasis. It is a biological state of equilibrium. I'm my world and in laymans terms, it is pooping daily. Needless to say, travel can disrupt my homeostasis. I was about halfway through my run this morning when I was presented with a definite problem. I was going to return to a state of biological equilibrium whether I wanted to or not. I was fortunate in the fact that at that very moment a ditch and a tree presented itself. All I can say is don't judge me. I would like to think that each of you would make the same choice if you were faced with pooping your pants or shamefully dropping a deuce in a ditch. My deepest apologies to the state of Colorado. As it turns out you can't outrun biology. Happy Saturday!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
4 Week Measurements
Hey-o! As promised, I measured up on Sunday (the end of 4 weeks on P90X~Mass). Here are the stats:
Weight 233.0 (down 4.5 pounds)
Waist 43.0 inches (down 1.5 inches)
Hips 50 inches (same)
Chest 44 (same)
Right Arm 16.5 (same)
Left Arm 16.0 (down 0.5 inch)
Right Thigh 28.0 (down 1.5 inches)
Left Thigh 28.5 (down 0.5 inch)
Body Fat % 30% (same)
These are not STUNNING results. Having said that, I am not unhappy with them. First of all, it is important to remember that I started this program after finishing a different program. I did not start it from ground zero. You always see more drastic results at the very beginning. I also just came off of a less than stellar week in the eating department. I ate clean, but I ate too much. Secondly, I lost my FitBit. While I might think that I am stepping the same, I was not really tracking it. GOOD NEWS!!! My FitBit was found and returned yesterday. But I forgot to put it on this morning. Tomorrow, I am back on the FitBit track. Look out all my FitBit friends... I'm stepping again! Lastly, everything either went down or stayed the same. Nothing went up. I do feel like my arms and legs are getting more toned, so if that means that I am replacing fat with muscle, I'll take it. I skipped yesterday, which means I am going to have to double up this week some time, but I had company from out of town, I partied too hard Sunday night, and it was a holiday (how's that for a bunch of worthless excuses). But I plan on finishing this program in the allotted time and I am excited to see what the new workouts are for this month.
My running app is not allowing hardly any walking time. As in there are two walking stints that last 45 seconds each for the entire run. I now lap my starting point which means that I am covering more distance in the same amount of time. I am scooting right along. I feel like I could run a 5K with relative ease right now. How's that for a big deal? 6 weeks ago I couldn't run longer than a minute and a half without walking. BOOM. Here is a weird fun fact for you... When I run I can spit like a guy. If I was standing still I'm lucky if I don't drool on myself. Not that I spit a lot or anything. I had a little bit of a head cold last week, not enough to stop me, just enough to annoy me. But I get a little phlegm when I run still. Gotta get rid of it somehow. So, I spit, but I can spit a long, long ways!
At the end of this week I am travelling to Colorado to shoot a wedding. We will see how I do sticking to my workouts on the road. Wish me luck. I'll do my best.
In other news, I have a puppy sleeping in my lap. I bought him in the parking lot of a KFC (no, I didn't eat there). He is a dorkie (dachshund x yorkie = dorkie). His name is Slack. He is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I super duper love him. Happy Tuesday!! Drink your water!!
Weight 233.0 (down 4.5 pounds)
Waist 43.0 inches (down 1.5 inches)
Hips 50 inches (same)
Chest 44 (same)
Right Arm 16.5 (same)
Left Arm 16.0 (down 0.5 inch)
Right Thigh 28.0 (down 1.5 inches)
Left Thigh 28.5 (down 0.5 inch)
Body Fat % 30% (same)
These are not STUNNING results. Having said that, I am not unhappy with them. First of all, it is important to remember that I started this program after finishing a different program. I did not start it from ground zero. You always see more drastic results at the very beginning. I also just came off of a less than stellar week in the eating department. I ate clean, but I ate too much. Secondly, I lost my FitBit. While I might think that I am stepping the same, I was not really tracking it. GOOD NEWS!!! My FitBit was found and returned yesterday. But I forgot to put it on this morning. Tomorrow, I am back on the FitBit track. Look out all my FitBit friends... I'm stepping again! Lastly, everything either went down or stayed the same. Nothing went up. I do feel like my arms and legs are getting more toned, so if that means that I am replacing fat with muscle, I'll take it. I skipped yesterday, which means I am going to have to double up this week some time, but I had company from out of town, I partied too hard Sunday night, and it was a holiday (how's that for a bunch of worthless excuses). But I plan on finishing this program in the allotted time and I am excited to see what the new workouts are for this month.
My running app is not allowing hardly any walking time. As in there are two walking stints that last 45 seconds each for the entire run. I now lap my starting point which means that I am covering more distance in the same amount of time. I am scooting right along. I feel like I could run a 5K with relative ease right now. How's that for a big deal? 6 weeks ago I couldn't run longer than a minute and a half without walking. BOOM. Here is a weird fun fact for you... When I run I can spit like a guy. If I was standing still I'm lucky if I don't drool on myself. Not that I spit a lot or anything. I had a little bit of a head cold last week, not enough to stop me, just enough to annoy me. But I get a little phlegm when I run still. Gotta get rid of it somehow. So, I spit, but I can spit a long, long ways!
At the end of this week I am travelling to Colorado to shoot a wedding. We will see how I do sticking to my workouts on the road. Wish me luck. I'll do my best.
In other news, I have a puppy sleeping in my lap. I bought him in the parking lot of a KFC (no, I didn't eat there). He is a dorkie (dachshund x yorkie = dorkie). His name is Slack. He is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I super duper love him. Happy Tuesday!! Drink your water!!
Monday, May 18, 2015
Gut Check
Lately I have been doing a lot of little re-posts to keep things going on the page but I haven't really checked in for a while. There has been A LOT going on and I just haven't had a chance to sit down and organize my thoughts on all of it.
Let's start with why I decided it was important to do so this morning. Friday before last I weighed in. Just to see where I was at. I decided I was going to do measurements once a month on this new program (so, end of this week), but I was curious about my weight. I had dropped 3 pounds in the first 10 days or so of the new P90X3. Thumbs up. Not a shocking number of pounds, but it was at least going in the right direction. This morning I decided to do the same thing, but for different reasons. I have been STARVING for the last week and a half since that weigh-in. Like I could eat anything and everything in sight and not even blink an eye. I have been trying to make healthy choices, but I definitely feel my portion size creeping up to more than what it should be. My water intake has not been nearly as much as it was (shame on me) and I also feel pretty tired (insert sluggish). So, this morning, I was up a pound. Not down, not the same, UP! I haven't missed any P90X3 workouts, but I did miss my last run of the week last Friday due to torrential downpours. In this past two weeks I have had several birthday parties that I have attended which means that I have had little pieces of cake because who doesn't deserve a piece of cake sometimes, right??? With my metabolism the answer there is WRONG, not right. There have also been some chorizos eaten, even without the bun, not a stellar choice for me. For those of you that don't live in Marsing, Idaho and don't know what a chorizo is, it is a spicy hot dog on steroids. I had company come from out of town which of course meant taking them to my favorite places to eat out and cooking a feast or two at home for them. So, all of this has added up to an extra pound. A pound that I had gone and now have to get rid of again.
So, why? Why the naughty eating when tempted? Why the not making up for the lost run over the weekend? Why the diminished water intake? Why the extra pound???? WHY????
First off (brace yourselves, gentlemen), I started my period. I don't know about the rest of you girls, but this hormonal up swing just about kills me in the dieting and restraint department. The week before it I have terrible insomnia. Like I might sporadically get 3 hours of sleep in a night no matter what I do. I end up reading a lot of books in the middle of the night. This makes me tired. Which in turn makes me hungry. Insert first deposit of extra calories. During my period the hunger factor gets cranked up by 1,000% and I want to eat EVERYTHING. I could clean out the cupboards even if they only had mustard and pickles in them. I don't even know, taste, or care what I am eating. And, now in an attempt to catch up, all I want to do is sleep. I have to make myself workout during this week. My motivation is zero. I do it anyways, but it is more of a going through the motions kind of thing. I can justify just about anything during this part of the month for me.
Second, the stress level around my outfit is getting pretty high. Going through cancer treatments and the whole process of cancer with someone is not really all that fun or for the faint at heart. Top it off with the fact that my family is not the best bunch of communicators on the planet and you have a tailor made recipe for bottled up feelings and anger. Fits have been thrown. Fights have been had. Emotions are running a little high. This of course leads to some emotional eating because that's how you deal with feelings in my family, you stuff food on top of them until they suffocate and quit trying to surface.
Lastly, I lost my FitBit. My little accountability friend has jumped ship somewhere. I miss him terribly. I can think that I am making my steps all I want to, but who is to know, I don't have my little buddy reporting in to me. After payday this week I plan on ordering a new one. But it has been over a week now without him, a bad week to boot (see reason #1), and I didn't realize what a darn good motivator he was.
There have been some ups and some downs. Plateaus and small weight gains are a part of any weight loss journey. The important thing right now is that I realize it, get it in check, and get that scale going in the opposite direction. Oh, and that I drink my water. Have a great week all!! I'm gonna give it hell.
Friday, May 1, 2015
New program... New goals.
Happy Friday!
I have two days left in my new program this week. Today and tomorrow. Sore was what I wanted and sore was what I got. While I was actively doing the workouts, I didn't think they were all that hard. Had I not already been through T25, I'm sure that I would have thought they were torturous. So far they are not super cardio based, so I am glad that I am running too. Yesterdays workout was interesting. It was nothing but pull-up/chin-ups and push ups. That's it for 30 minutes. On the bar, on the floor, on the bar, on the floor, on the bar, on the floor... You get the idea. Wednesday I was so sore that my run was difficult. Remember how I was fast of foot Monday and flying on cloud nine? Wednesday not so much. Today I fall somewhere in between.
Starting a new program always brings out new holes in my fitness. #1, as you can probably guess from yesterdays pictures, is that I cannot do an unassisted pull-up. Not even one. I can't even hang my own body weight all that long. I have to be realistic about this. I'm watching people on a video do pull-ups that are probably have no more than 10% body fat. I am trying to haul my own body weight and an extra 77 pounds up and down. #2 I am still doing push-ups on my knees. Again, I use the extra weight as an excuse. #3 My slacking in yoga has led to a decline in my flexibility. The great thing about this program is that they put yoga in at least once a week. I got up this morning and did a mini yoga routine and I felt better afterwards. Felt ready to go. This might need to be a regular thing. So, with the holes that currently exist, I have a new set of fitness goals:
1. By the end of this program (90 days) I would like to be doing unassisted pull-ups and chin-ups. I don't know how many, but from where I stand right now, I think if I can even do one unassisted pull-up, that will be kinda a big deal.
**You may have noticed that I get a little obsessed with fitness people. Natalie Jill is my new obsession. She is A-Mazing. Her blog posts are short, sweet, helpful, and to the point. She came out with a new app this week a that has her fitness routines on it. I think I will find it very handy when I am on the road (go get it!). Anyways, she has a blog post about doing pull-ups for women.... Here is the link:
http://www.nataliejillfitness.com/how-to-do-a-pull-up-women/
2.The other side of my pull-up stand has an ab leg lift deal-a-ma-bopper. I have no idea what the real name for it is, but you can visualize. Since I got it set-up yesterday I stop and do 10 leg lift ab thingys whenever I walk by it. That is how many I can do before I shamefully slide to the floor. I would like to be doing 20 by the end of this month (short-term goal).
3. I would really like to be doing real push-ups. I feel like I am getting stronger so I feel like this should be a reasonable goal. I used to do all kinds of variations of real push-ups. I am trying to be realistic and take into account my weight. I don't want to set a goal that I can't achieve. I also don't want to attempt something I shouldn't and end up with bad form and a potential injury. So, my goal is to be doing real push-ups by the time I weigh 200 pounds or less. I don't know if those two things will coincide by the end of this program or not, but I hope so!
4. I would like to get back on the yoga wagon. More than the hit and miss that I have been getting done the past few weeks. I would like to go back to three times a week. I don't know that I will make hot yoga three times a week, but I have plenty of yoga tools at my disposal at home as well. It is just a matter of making it a priority.
5. I would like to run at least 2 5K's this year. I haven't decided which two, but I want to find some good local ones that I can do. Who knows... If things keep progressing maybe a 10K is even in my future.
I have lots of goals regarding my weight, fitness, health, etc. right now, but I believe the above set of goals is the most important ones for me to work. They are more important than fighting the scale, they are more important than fitting in the next jeans. AND, if I accomplish these goals, those other things will most likely fall into line.
I have had a fat feeling week. You know what I mean? I highly doubt that I am fatter, but I just have felt that way. I'm sure some of it from starting the new workout program. You start something new and you feel more hungry. You notice new inadequacies that make you feel fat. It has been a stressful week on a personal level and that makes me want to do emotional eating. I'm not doing that, but it makes me want to and just that makes me feel fat. Almost as bad as if I just went ahead and stuffed my face. Being sore makes me feel heavy too. It makes my legs feel like heavy concrete pillars. I'm sure by the end of next week I will be feeling much better. I have a lot on my plate mentally with it being the end of my term at school, all the talking and meeting with doctors for gram, and helping out at my former employer's place. Mental weight may be some of the heaviness that I have been feeling this week.
Have a great weekend all... I am sleeping in tomorrow come hell or high water. I am also hiking sometime this weekend come rain or come shine. Drink your water. ;)
I have two days left in my new program this week. Today and tomorrow. Sore was what I wanted and sore was what I got. While I was actively doing the workouts, I didn't think they were all that hard. Had I not already been through T25, I'm sure that I would have thought they were torturous. So far they are not super cardio based, so I am glad that I am running too. Yesterdays workout was interesting. It was nothing but pull-up/chin-ups and push ups. That's it for 30 minutes. On the bar, on the floor, on the bar, on the floor, on the bar, on the floor... You get the idea. Wednesday I was so sore that my run was difficult. Remember how I was fast of foot Monday and flying on cloud nine? Wednesday not so much. Today I fall somewhere in between.
Starting a new program always brings out new holes in my fitness. #1, as you can probably guess from yesterdays pictures, is that I cannot do an unassisted pull-up. Not even one. I can't even hang my own body weight all that long. I have to be realistic about this. I'm watching people on a video do pull-ups that are probably have no more than 10% body fat. I am trying to haul my own body weight and an extra 77 pounds up and down. #2 I am still doing push-ups on my knees. Again, I use the extra weight as an excuse. #3 My slacking in yoga has led to a decline in my flexibility. The great thing about this program is that they put yoga in at least once a week. I got up this morning and did a mini yoga routine and I felt better afterwards. Felt ready to go. This might need to be a regular thing. So, with the holes that currently exist, I have a new set of fitness goals:
1. By the end of this program (90 days) I would like to be doing unassisted pull-ups and chin-ups. I don't know how many, but from where I stand right now, I think if I can even do one unassisted pull-up, that will be kinda a big deal.
**You may have noticed that I get a little obsessed with fitness people. Natalie Jill is my new obsession. She is A-Mazing. Her blog posts are short, sweet, helpful, and to the point. She came out with a new app this week a that has her fitness routines on it. I think I will find it very handy when I am on the road (go get it!). Anyways, she has a blog post about doing pull-ups for women.... Here is the link:
http://www.nataliejillfitness.com/how-to-do-a-pull-up-women/
2.The other side of my pull-up stand has an ab leg lift deal-a-ma-bopper. I have no idea what the real name for it is, but you can visualize. Since I got it set-up yesterday I stop and do 10 leg lift ab thingys whenever I walk by it. That is how many I can do before I shamefully slide to the floor. I would like to be doing 20 by the end of this month (short-term goal).
3. I would really like to be doing real push-ups. I feel like I am getting stronger so I feel like this should be a reasonable goal. I used to do all kinds of variations of real push-ups. I am trying to be realistic and take into account my weight. I don't want to set a goal that I can't achieve. I also don't want to attempt something I shouldn't and end up with bad form and a potential injury. So, my goal is to be doing real push-ups by the time I weigh 200 pounds or less. I don't know if those two things will coincide by the end of this program or not, but I hope so!
4. I would like to get back on the yoga wagon. More than the hit and miss that I have been getting done the past few weeks. I would like to go back to three times a week. I don't know that I will make hot yoga three times a week, but I have plenty of yoga tools at my disposal at home as well. It is just a matter of making it a priority.
5. I would like to run at least 2 5K's this year. I haven't decided which two, but I want to find some good local ones that I can do. Who knows... If things keep progressing maybe a 10K is even in my future.
I have lots of goals regarding my weight, fitness, health, etc. right now, but I believe the above set of goals is the most important ones for me to work. They are more important than fighting the scale, they are more important than fitting in the next jeans. AND, if I accomplish these goals, those other things will most likely fall into line.
I have had a fat feeling week. You know what I mean? I highly doubt that I am fatter, but I just have felt that way. I'm sure some of it from starting the new workout program. You start something new and you feel more hungry. You notice new inadequacies that make you feel fat. It has been a stressful week on a personal level and that makes me want to do emotional eating. I'm not doing that, but it makes me want to and just that makes me feel fat. Almost as bad as if I just went ahead and stuffed my face. Being sore makes me feel heavy too. It makes my legs feel like heavy concrete pillars. I'm sure by the end of next week I will be feeling much better. I have a lot on my plate mentally with it being the end of my term at school, all the talking and meeting with doctors for gram, and helping out at my former employer's place. Mental weight may be some of the heaviness that I have been feeling this week.
Have a great weekend all... I am sleeping in tomorrow come hell or high water. I am also hiking sometime this weekend come rain or come shine. Drink your water. ;)
Monday, April 27, 2015
Stranger things have happened...
Stranger things have happened... Just not to me lately.
Running was interesting today.
For starters I had a lot of gas in the tank. Last week, I REALLY struggled on my running days. My feet were like concrete blocks, my joints ached, it was windy as all get out, I struggled to keep my lungs full of air, and I wanted to whine. But, I just plowed on through and decided to see what this week would be like. When I took off today, I felt like I could run forever. I was light of foot. I didn't even really break a sweat until the last 15 minutes. I felt great. I was instantly surprised. The sprints were easier, the longer distances didn't bother me in the least, I didn't run out of air one time. Either there really is something to the interval training or there was something wrong with me last week. Either way, I was kinda bummed out when my run was over today. Weird.
My runs and walks have turned into treasure hunts. So far I have collected a cotter pin that now resides on my key chain, a neon yellow golf ball, and today, a nice rope halter (no lead). All sorts of weird.
Running was interesting today.
For starters I had a lot of gas in the tank. Last week, I REALLY struggled on my running days. My feet were like concrete blocks, my joints ached, it was windy as all get out, I struggled to keep my lungs full of air, and I wanted to whine. But, I just plowed on through and decided to see what this week would be like. When I took off today, I felt like I could run forever. I was light of foot. I didn't even really break a sweat until the last 15 minutes. I felt great. I was instantly surprised. The sprints were easier, the longer distances didn't bother me in the least, I didn't run out of air one time. Either there really is something to the interval training or there was something wrong with me last week. Either way, I was kinda bummed out when my run was over today. Weird.
My runs and walks have turned into treasure hunts. So far I have collected a cotter pin that now resides on my key chain, a neon yellow golf ball, and today, a nice rope halter (no lead). All sorts of weird.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
The Beginning
Beginnings are scary. Beginnings are new. Beginnings are a lot of unknowns. Beginnings are good. Today I find myself at a beginning. I am starting P90X3 tomorrow. Today I weighed, measured, took pictures, and performed the Fit Test. I am nervous that this thing is gonna really kick my hiney. I am excited that this thing might really kick my hiney. It has been awhile since T25 has really made me sore. And, like it or not, soreness means progress. I am planning to continue my running program and am going to start looking for a race that I want to do. We'll start with a 5k and go from there. If I can make it to yoga, I'm going to. I truly believe that the benefits of the yoga are endless. I also believe that because it is an hour drive from house, it is logistically hard for me to get to. So, that is my plan for now. I may also go hike today 'casue I love it and the sun is shining.
In keeping with the honest nature of this blog I am going to share my measurements with you. This is a big deal. I can't think of very many women that will willingly tell you what they weigh and how many inches their thighs are. But, I want to understand two things from this, 1)It doesn't matter. What I weigh doesn't matter. I like myself right now. I like how hard I have worked to get to this point. These measurements are starting points. Jumping off places. Some of them will surprise you, some of them surprised me. I don't feel the least bit bad about any of them. I do maybe wish I hadn't pigged-out on take-out Chinese food last night, but hey, I was hungry. 2)Don't be afraid to measure yourself. It is a good thing to know where you are at. It can point out the areas that you want to improve. It can point out the areas that you are perfectly happy with. If you want to feel better about yourself, compare your measurements to mine. I don't mind. The only thing that I ask is that you look at them from a healthy place, as a place to build goals, not even remotely a place to knock yourself down.
Here goes nothin...
Measurements:
Weight 237.6 pounds. Height 5 feet 6 inches.
Waist 44.5 inches. Hips 50.0 inches. Chest 44.0 inches. (These three measurements confirm my theories that A)I am flat chested, and, B)I am shaped like a square.)
Right arm 16.5 inches. Left arm 16.5 inches.
Right thigh 29.5 inches. Left thigh 29.0 inches.
Body fat 30.0%. (Yes, I am a freak and have a body fat caliper. A mean little pinchy thing device.)
Shirt size: XXL or XL depending on the brand. Jeans size:16 or 34 depending on the brand.
Fit Test:
Resting heart rate 70 beats per minute.
Pull-ups 1.
Vertical leap 9 inches. (Measure with my arm extended above me, make a vertical jump and measure the difference between the two.)
Push-ups (on knees) 31. (Max out)
Toe Touch +2 inches. (Finger reach beyond heels when sitting with legs flat on the floor.)
Wall squat 2 minutes. (Max out)
Bicep curls 36 reps at 10 pounds. (Max out)
In and Out abs 14 reps. (Max out)
Heart Rate Maximizer 130 beats per minute. (Jumping jacks at max for 90 seconds)
1 minute post 90 beats per minute.
2 minutes post 80 beats per minute.
3 minutes post 74 beats per minute.
4 minutes post 74 beats per minute
Pictures:
I was kind and spared you the "swimwear attire" that they asked for. I don't swim, thus I don't have swimwear. I also have no intentions of posting half naked pictures of me on the internet. You get the idea of what I currently look like.
90 days from now you will see another post similar to this one. Here's hoping that it looks and reads a little differently. I can already tell you that there is one cool feature to P90X3... It has an app! Who doesn't love an app! I downloaded the fit test on app and it guided me through it. I recorded all my stats in it. I can use it to do my workouts on the road because they are all there on the app and I can use it to buy additional workouts if I want to. All sorts of cool! Getting off on the right foot (or the left, whichever floats your boat)!!! Happy Sunday all, drink your water.
In keeping with the honest nature of this blog I am going to share my measurements with you. This is a big deal. I can't think of very many women that will willingly tell you what they weigh and how many inches their thighs are. But, I want to understand two things from this, 1)It doesn't matter. What I weigh doesn't matter. I like myself right now. I like how hard I have worked to get to this point. These measurements are starting points. Jumping off places. Some of them will surprise you, some of them surprised me. I don't feel the least bit bad about any of them. I do maybe wish I hadn't pigged-out on take-out Chinese food last night, but hey, I was hungry. 2)Don't be afraid to measure yourself. It is a good thing to know where you are at. It can point out the areas that you want to improve. It can point out the areas that you are perfectly happy with. If you want to feel better about yourself, compare your measurements to mine. I don't mind. The only thing that I ask is that you look at them from a healthy place, as a place to build goals, not even remotely a place to knock yourself down.
Here goes nothin...
Measurements:
Weight 237.6 pounds. Height 5 feet 6 inches.
Waist 44.5 inches. Hips 50.0 inches. Chest 44.0 inches. (These three measurements confirm my theories that A)I am flat chested, and, B)I am shaped like a square.)
Right arm 16.5 inches. Left arm 16.5 inches.
Right thigh 29.5 inches. Left thigh 29.0 inches.
Body fat 30.0%. (Yes, I am a freak and have a body fat caliper. A mean little pinchy thing device.)
Shirt size: XXL or XL depending on the brand. Jeans size:16 or 34 depending on the brand.
Fit Test:
Resting heart rate 70 beats per minute.
Pull-ups 1.
Vertical leap 9 inches. (Measure with my arm extended above me, make a vertical jump and measure the difference between the two.)
Push-ups (on knees) 31. (Max out)
Toe Touch +2 inches. (Finger reach beyond heels when sitting with legs flat on the floor.)
Wall squat 2 minutes. (Max out)
Bicep curls 36 reps at 10 pounds. (Max out)
In and Out abs 14 reps. (Max out)
Heart Rate Maximizer 130 beats per minute. (Jumping jacks at max for 90 seconds)
1 minute post 90 beats per minute.
2 minutes post 80 beats per minute.
3 minutes post 74 beats per minute.
4 minutes post 74 beats per minute
Pictures:
I was kind and spared you the "swimwear attire" that they asked for. I don't swim, thus I don't have swimwear. I also have no intentions of posting half naked pictures of me on the internet. You get the idea of what I currently look like.
90 days from now you will see another post similar to this one. Here's hoping that it looks and reads a little differently. I can already tell you that there is one cool feature to P90X3... It has an app! Who doesn't love an app! I downloaded the fit test on app and it guided me through it. I recorded all my stats in it. I can use it to do my workouts on the road because they are all there on the app and I can use it to buy additional workouts if I want to. All sorts of cool! Getting off on the right foot (or the left, whichever floats your boat)!!! Happy Sunday all, drink your water.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Failure
Here's the skinny... Ha! Get it? Skinny... I'm not skinny, but I've got the skinny. Sorry, corny fat kid joke.
I was supposed to start P90X3 this week. Know what? I didn't. I took the week off. I ended up taking the break because there was a lot going on this week. I had my friend's memorial service. I had several big assignments due at school. I have an event that I go to every year, twice a year, where I sell handmade items, thus I had to get some items done to sell. Gram had a doctor's appointment one day and a liver biopsy on another day. Those are all just excuses in reality, but that's the short and the long of why I took the week off. I actually think in the long run it might be better that I did. Weight training can be like that, sometimes you have to let your muscles regroup a little so that they will train better when you get back after it. I did NOT, however, quit running. I still got that done this week, and I made my step goal everyday. I am noticing my ankle these days, it is talking to me (old injury). I warm up out of it so I am not going to worry about it. One of my old bosses (a horse veterinarian) used to ask if you were hurt or injured? You can play hurt, you can't play injured. I just hurt a little. So, long story short, I was not inactive, I just didn't "train" per se.
This upcoming program promises to be intense. Tony's programs usually are. This one is different because it doesn't have all the long breaks within it. It is condensed down into 30 minute workouts. I like that. That's part of why I love T25 so much. It fits my schedule. This program came with a big ole book too. It obviously deals with how to train your muscles and how to eat for training. I am taking this week to get it read so that I get the absolute most that I can out of the program. One of the things that resonated with me last night when I was reading was the subject of failure.
I am not a failure type of person. I HATE to fail. It kills me to do something half-way (wasn't that good of me to not use the colorful word to finish that half-@$$), I hate to not be the best at something. Failure is not really an option once I decide to do something. Unless we are talking about keeping weight off, I have yet to really WIN that battle. But, the P90X3 book took a different approach to failure. They were applying it specifically to weight training, but I am wondering if it could pertain to other areas of a person's life. They want you to fail in P90X3. They want you to barely be able to do the last rep of each set. Or, they want you to fail to do the last rep of each set. They want you to push to the point of failure. That is the only way that you can progress.
I thought about that while I was running today. My running app has added sprints to my running program. I have to max out when I sprint. Two things happen when I sprint. 1) I run out of air by the end of it. I get to thinking I'm not going to make it much farther. 2) When I go back to jogging, the jogging is way easier. I want you to know that I am loving the running, but I am not in love with the running. Does that make sense? I struggle through portions of my run. I think I'm not going to make it. But I keep going anyways. It is interesting that the sprints make me think that I am going to fail and make my life easier all at the same time. I was reading that you can actually get more air in your lungs by doing interval training like that than you can by going long distances at a constant pace. I am starting to think that statement is pretty true.
What if we applied this to other things? What if we just weren't afraid of failing because we knew that if we did it would make us stronger. How far could we go? What could we do? I have limitations set up in my own mind. Points in life that if I reach them I think I might fail, what if I took those points away? My friend that passed away was never afraid of failure. I saw her fail plenty of times, it never one time phased her. Food for thought.
P.S. This program requires before pictures, measurements, and a fit test. Mentally prepare yourselves because I am going to throw some numbers at you next week. If we are gonna be honest we gotta be honest all the way, right? For those of you that know me you won't believe my numbers, I am A LOT heavier than I look, so just be prepared for that. But if I don't measure, we won't know what I can get done in 90 days. Let's do this thing!
I was supposed to start P90X3 this week. Know what? I didn't. I took the week off. I ended up taking the break because there was a lot going on this week. I had my friend's memorial service. I had several big assignments due at school. I have an event that I go to every year, twice a year, where I sell handmade items, thus I had to get some items done to sell. Gram had a doctor's appointment one day and a liver biopsy on another day. Those are all just excuses in reality, but that's the short and the long of why I took the week off. I actually think in the long run it might be better that I did. Weight training can be like that, sometimes you have to let your muscles regroup a little so that they will train better when you get back after it. I did NOT, however, quit running. I still got that done this week, and I made my step goal everyday. I am noticing my ankle these days, it is talking to me (old injury). I warm up out of it so I am not going to worry about it. One of my old bosses (a horse veterinarian) used to ask if you were hurt or injured? You can play hurt, you can't play injured. I just hurt a little. So, long story short, I was not inactive, I just didn't "train" per se.
This upcoming program promises to be intense. Tony's programs usually are. This one is different because it doesn't have all the long breaks within it. It is condensed down into 30 minute workouts. I like that. That's part of why I love T25 so much. It fits my schedule. This program came with a big ole book too. It obviously deals with how to train your muscles and how to eat for training. I am taking this week to get it read so that I get the absolute most that I can out of the program. One of the things that resonated with me last night when I was reading was the subject of failure.
I am not a failure type of person. I HATE to fail. It kills me to do something half-way (wasn't that good of me to not use the colorful word to finish that half-@$$), I hate to not be the best at something. Failure is not really an option once I decide to do something. Unless we are talking about keeping weight off, I have yet to really WIN that battle. But, the P90X3 book took a different approach to failure. They were applying it specifically to weight training, but I am wondering if it could pertain to other areas of a person's life. They want you to fail in P90X3. They want you to barely be able to do the last rep of each set. Or, they want you to fail to do the last rep of each set. They want you to push to the point of failure. That is the only way that you can progress.
I thought about that while I was running today. My running app has added sprints to my running program. I have to max out when I sprint. Two things happen when I sprint. 1) I run out of air by the end of it. I get to thinking I'm not going to make it much farther. 2) When I go back to jogging, the jogging is way easier. I want you to know that I am loving the running, but I am not in love with the running. Does that make sense? I struggle through portions of my run. I think I'm not going to make it. But I keep going anyways. It is interesting that the sprints make me think that I am going to fail and make my life easier all at the same time. I was reading that you can actually get more air in your lungs by doing interval training like that than you can by going long distances at a constant pace. I am starting to think that statement is pretty true.
What if we applied this to other things? What if we just weren't afraid of failing because we knew that if we did it would make us stronger. How far could we go? What could we do? I have limitations set up in my own mind. Points in life that if I reach them I think I might fail, what if I took those points away? My friend that passed away was never afraid of failure. I saw her fail plenty of times, it never one time phased her. Food for thought.
P.S. This program requires before pictures, measurements, and a fit test. Mentally prepare yourselves because I am going to throw some numbers at you next week. If we are gonna be honest we gotta be honest all the way, right? For those of you that know me you won't believe my numbers, I am A LOT heavier than I look, so just be prepared for that. But if I don't measure, we won't know what I can get done in 90 days. Let's do this thing!
Thursday, April 16, 2015
It's been a little quiet around here...
I want to make sure that my posts are not just continual repeats of themselves. I don't want to bore the awesome crew that tunes in to read this blog. I love you guys and the last thing that I want to do is bore you. I also don't want to be preachy, but I know it happens sometimes. Good thing you know that I am human.
I've been a little quiet lately for a couple of reasons.
Two days ago my friend lost her battle with cancer. In all honesty, she lost the battle a couple weeks ago when the cancer started taking her voice and her strength from her. Things that she deserved to have all the way to the end. I am eternally sad for myself and all the others that she has left behind, but I am equally grateful that her suffering is over.
During the time when I wanted to be devoted to my friend the most, some news was delivered to my family that took me in other directions. My grandmother beat breast cancer in 2009. We have recently found out that it has returned. It has also possibly spread to her liver (there are a few more diagnostics to find this out). I have spent my fair share of time in hospital waiting rooms these days. In the next couple weeks she will have surgery to remove her entire right breast.
I have also not had any grand fitness or health revelations either. I am staying my course, results are slowly but surely coming. But I haven't had any grand tales to tell you.
These are the main reasons that I haven't been posting as regularly. I am not telling you these things because I am looking for an outpouring of sympathy. Although I know that all of you are cheering me on all the time, and I love you for it. I am happy, healthy, and thankful for every day that I can hit the pavement. I am telling you this because I want you to know how I am dealing with all of it. It is very important (to me) that I be available and able to help my loved ones. But, if I am not taking care of myself, I will not be of any help to them. While I would like nothing more than to curl up on a couch and feel sorry for myself, I'm not taking that option. Here's how I am dealing with it:
I am compartmentalizing things as well as I can. I am putting everything into its own little box and dealing with things one box at a time.
One of those boxes is labelled EXERCISE. It is more important to me now than it was two months ago. I need it not only for my body, but my mind. I hiked up my mountain on Sunday. It had been a little while since I had been up there. It was glorious. I got close to God and I talked to him about giving strength to the people in my life that need it most right now. I got to see the amazing view from up there and I felt immensely better when I got down.
Another box is labelled NUTRITION. I am not going to binge eat just because there are some emotional things happening in my life right now. What good will a fatter version of me be to the people in my life? No good at all, that's what. I feel great right now, my nutrition is in check and my body is getting leaner and meaner all the time. Emotional eating will only sabotage those two things.
Another box is labelled GRAM. I have every intentions of fighting this battle side-by-side with her. She doesn't always make the healthiest of choices, so maybe I can lead her by example. I know that I am going to have to be a strong rock for her to lean on during the coming months. I don't intend to fail her in that regard.
FAMILY/FRIENDS are another box. Some of them need me more than others, I am doing my best to be there for them when they do need me and am trying to be proactive in thinking of things they might need. Sometimes, they might just need a laugh. There are a lot of hugs going around these days too.
There are boxes for WORK and for SCHOOL and the best part about them is that they are all scheduled. No sucker punches or surprises there. I am done with school at the end of the first week of May... HOOOOORAY for summer!
Finally, there is a box labelled HAPPINESS. I am refusing to let any of the sad stuff that is going on in my life right now steal my happiness. I am working hard towards lots of goals in my life and to stay motivated I am going to have to do better than just treading water (emotionally speaking). I'm going to be the old cliche of a positive attitude = a positive life. If I'm happy, maybe, just maybe, I can rub off a little on those in my life that are having a hard time. Who knows if that will work or not, but I do know this for sure... Being negative isn't gonna get squat done for me or for them.
So, there you have it, please forgive me if I am a little sporadic in posting the next few weeks. I will do my best and by golly when I have something funny to say you are gonna hear about it!!
P.S. As wild (read as SHOCKING) as my new shoes are, they make me happy.
Drink your water.
I've been a little quiet lately for a couple of reasons.
Two days ago my friend lost her battle with cancer. In all honesty, she lost the battle a couple weeks ago when the cancer started taking her voice and her strength from her. Things that she deserved to have all the way to the end. I am eternally sad for myself and all the others that she has left behind, but I am equally grateful that her suffering is over.
During the time when I wanted to be devoted to my friend the most, some news was delivered to my family that took me in other directions. My grandmother beat breast cancer in 2009. We have recently found out that it has returned. It has also possibly spread to her liver (there are a few more diagnostics to find this out). I have spent my fair share of time in hospital waiting rooms these days. In the next couple weeks she will have surgery to remove her entire right breast.
I have also not had any grand fitness or health revelations either. I am staying my course, results are slowly but surely coming. But I haven't had any grand tales to tell you.
These are the main reasons that I haven't been posting as regularly. I am not telling you these things because I am looking for an outpouring of sympathy. Although I know that all of you are cheering me on all the time, and I love you for it. I am happy, healthy, and thankful for every day that I can hit the pavement. I am telling you this because I want you to know how I am dealing with all of it. It is very important (to me) that I be available and able to help my loved ones. But, if I am not taking care of myself, I will not be of any help to them. While I would like nothing more than to curl up on a couch and feel sorry for myself, I'm not taking that option. Here's how I am dealing with it:
I am compartmentalizing things as well as I can. I am putting everything into its own little box and dealing with things one box at a time.
One of those boxes is labelled EXERCISE. It is more important to me now than it was two months ago. I need it not only for my body, but my mind. I hiked up my mountain on Sunday. It had been a little while since I had been up there. It was glorious. I got close to God and I talked to him about giving strength to the people in my life that need it most right now. I got to see the amazing view from up there and I felt immensely better when I got down.
Another box is labelled NUTRITION. I am not going to binge eat just because there are some emotional things happening in my life right now. What good will a fatter version of me be to the people in my life? No good at all, that's what. I feel great right now, my nutrition is in check and my body is getting leaner and meaner all the time. Emotional eating will only sabotage those two things.
Another box is labelled GRAM. I have every intentions of fighting this battle side-by-side with her. She doesn't always make the healthiest of choices, so maybe I can lead her by example. I know that I am going to have to be a strong rock for her to lean on during the coming months. I don't intend to fail her in that regard.
FAMILY/FRIENDS are another box. Some of them need me more than others, I am doing my best to be there for them when they do need me and am trying to be proactive in thinking of things they might need. Sometimes, they might just need a laugh. There are a lot of hugs going around these days too.
There are boxes for WORK and for SCHOOL and the best part about them is that they are all scheduled. No sucker punches or surprises there. I am done with school at the end of the first week of May... HOOOOORAY for summer!
Finally, there is a box labelled HAPPINESS. I am refusing to let any of the sad stuff that is going on in my life right now steal my happiness. I am working hard towards lots of goals in my life and to stay motivated I am going to have to do better than just treading water (emotionally speaking). I'm going to be the old cliche of a positive attitude = a positive life. If I'm happy, maybe, just maybe, I can rub off a little on those in my life that are having a hard time. Who knows if that will work or not, but I do know this for sure... Being negative isn't gonna get squat done for me or for them.
So, there you have it, please forgive me if I am a little sporadic in posting the next few weeks. I will do my best and by golly when I have something funny to say you are gonna hear about it!!
P.S. As wild (read as SHOCKING) as my new shoes are, they make me happy.
Drink your water.
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