I would like to talk about how I actually see a few things. How the world, ok my world, looks like right now.
For instance... I am starting to see my body take a shape other than round. I am getting a tiny bit of definition in my tree trunk legs. My calves are starting to look like muscles, not just extensions of my thighs. I am beginning to see a waist in between my fat rolls. My arms are getting a little sculpted. They probably look the best of anything on me, besides my perfectly manicured toes... Wait, I mean my perfectly pedicured toes. But in all reality, my arms probably had the least amount of work to do to become passable. There is still some wiggle and jiggle in the bottom of them, but it is rapidly being replaced by muscle. Here is one thing that I don't get about what I see. What kind of cosmic joke is it that stretch marks are on the front of our bodies instead of the back where we can't see them??? Why do I have to look at those things on my stomach instead of on my back where I would rarely, if ever, catch a glimpse of them??? That is a piss poor design flaw in the human body if you ask me.
I no longer want to cry when I see a picture of myself these days. I fit into some cuter clothes now that actually have some shape to them and don't just make me look like a fat face stuck on a colorless blob, how I've always felt up to now. Who knows, maybe I'll even change my profile picture. I don't feel like I dwarf the person standing next to me in pictures. Mind you, I'm not volunteering to get in front of any cameras, I'm just not actively hiding from them.
This is my view when I workout these days...
I like both of these views for different reasons. I still have a love/hate relationship with the running. These days I am leaning a little more towards love than hate. So, there's that. What I can say for the running is that I feel empowered, clear headed, and all around better when I get done with a run. I am always surprised at my distance or the time that I get it done in. Always. I still don't believe I can do it. I hope I can hold onto this awe and wonder for a little while longer. Signing up for some races and finding the MapMyRun app for my phone has made things a little more interesting and provided some new motivation. So, again, there's that. The weight lifting is still my favorite. I can't help it. I feel strong, really strong when I get done with it. I know that it is the thing that is shaping my body on the outside. The running might be changing me on the inside (which should count for more), but the weights are what the rest of the world is seeing. I was excited to find out the other day that The Beast and Autumn from 21 Day Fix Extreme are getting together and releasing a workout program in December (Beach Body). I'll be first in line for that one!! It will be my reward for completing the 10k.
The last thing that I see right now is an amazing fall. The view from my weekly hike is clear, glowing with warm fall light, and starting to get an edge of crisp on it. I love this time of year. Even if it means the rise of pumpkin spiced everything and arm loads of comfort food that I have to resist.
What does your view look like these days????
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