Why do I yawn?

You might be wondering if I am about to dive into a diatribe of Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? What makes me yawn? Nope, not even close. I just wanted to check in because I feel like it has been a really, really, really, really long time since I have. And I miss you guys. And I needed a title for this post. I promise it will come into play later.

First off, I would just like to say that I am crazy busy these days, ever so slightly stressed out, and still feeling a little lonely, but I am by and far happy. HAPPY. I hope that you guys are happy too. I feel like the things that I am stressed out about are legitimate things, not trivial things like "What can I eat for lunch that won't instantly add three pounds to my rear end?" Worrying about things like that can not only make you crazy, but it usually makes you feel a little vain and petty which leads to a giant ball of emotion chasing you like Indian Jones in the Temple of Doom. Raise your hand if you are a child of the '80's!!! I am worried about term papers, doing my job to the best of my ability, the best ways to take care of my grandmother, and what trick I should teach my 5 month old puppy next. You know, the important stuff.

Here is how things are going on the fitness front (then we will jump to the oh-so-lovely food front). I am on the last 5 weeks of The Beast by Beach Body. My deepest love for Shaun T still remains, but I have enjoyed The Beast as much as I can possibly enjoy a workout. He has a heavy European accent, talks about himself in the third person, and looks like he could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's younger brother. The only thing that has me in a quandary is that I yawn EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I lift weights. If anyone knows the answer to this phenomenon, I'm all ears. I have also been trying to figure out why I like this workout so much. Is it because I have promptly dropped 12+ pounds since starting it? That doesn't hurt. Is it because it is all weight lifting and I LOVE weight lifting? Sure, it is always good to enjoy what you are doing. Is it because there are no women in it? Holy cow. I have just come to this realization after about 7 weeks of doing this program. There are no women for me to compare myself to. There are no women for me to beat myself up about for not looking like them. There are no women for me to fight against. I am only trying to lift more than my previous self, not the super fine fitness chick on the TV. Two things to take home from this... 1) Stop me if you have heard this one before: Comparison is the thief of joy. The more that we compare ourselves the more we are convinced that we don't measure up and the more miserable we make ourselves in the process. 2) I need to treat every workout as though there are no other chicks. Not because the chicks are bad or because a little competition is bad, but because my fragile ego can't handle it. Recognizing that, admitting it, and working around it will make me more successful in the long run. For now, I am going to continue to BEAST UP! Plus the guys on the video are muscle bound and beautiful, how can I go wrong? The running. Ahhhhh, the running. So, since we last talked I completed a 5k. Not a huge deal except for the fact that I ran in front of people and I averaged an 8 1/2 minute mile. I surprised myself. It was the color run. If you get the chance in your area, I recommend it, it was great fun and as an added bonus you will have a neon blue armpit for at least a week and will blow sparkly boogers for no less than three days. It has spurred me on to sign up for a 10k. It isn't until December so I feel like I have given myself plenty of time to train. I am sticking with my 3-4 days a weeks running schedule and slowly increasing my distance and always working on min/mile time. I can't help but wonder if I like the running because it is solitary as well. The only person I am trying to beat is myself. I'm sensing a theme to my fitness regimes. I welcome any training advice that you experienced runners may have (Mandi & Jenna this means you). Any tips on form would be awesome too. I can't help but think that I could be doing better by myself in that department. That's about it for fitness, just a lifting and a running. Lifting and a running.

Food. Oh, blessed food. I feel like I am on auto pilot these days in the food department. This can be a dangerous place because you can comfortably slip into old habits. But, for right now, I am focusing on eating clean, keeping my portions in check, and not depriving myself when special occasions arise. I am trying not to do too much work out to food comparison math. I don't want it to take over my brain to the point where I am obsessing. I still eat Subway, I still have the occasional alcoholic beverage, I still love jerky. My new favorite is Buffalo Chicken Jerky. It makes my heart sing. I have honestly been more hungry the past few weeks. I am blaming this on a couple things. The weather is cooling off and being the bear that I am I am trying to hibernate. Next, I have upped my training. I am running farther and lifting heavier. I think my body is trying to compensate for that. The trick is to not give into that. I have to continue to keep my portions in check, continue to eat whole foods as much as possible, and I have to listen to my body. If I am a little more hungry, I can add in another healthy snack during the day. I don't need to eat two dinners. Like I said, I am trying not to obsess, just sticking to the simple rules and tuning in to what my gut is actually telling me. Oh, and drinking more water than imaginable. It is easy to back off of the water when the weather cools down, don't do it! Drink more!!

Some interesting food choices that I have been making lately... My Canadian bestie made me lunch one day when I visited her. It was a salad with grated beets, grated carrots, quinoa, mushrooms, and a lovely dressing that has a nutritional yeast base. Who says a salad has to have lettuce? I have been adding back more beets in my diet since then. I have also made a big batch of quinoa to keep in the fridge. I quite like it. It has been a handy little additive for salads and what not. I have found that if I keep a batch of plant protein in the fridge (quinoa, garbanzos, etc.) it makes making dinner at the end of a week day a lot easier. Who knew?

My goals right now are drifting away from just losing weight. I still need to do that. Or losing FAT I should say. If you put a gun to my head I would tell you I have 60 pounds left to go. Most people would tell me that is crazy. I am a deceivingly dense being. I am honestly more worried about being prepped for my 10k. I am working towards boy push-ups and unassisted pull-ups. I want to be in these smoking hot jeans that I bought before I go to NFR and Las Vegas the second week of December. My goals are less about fighting the scale and more about making improvements. I don't actually hate my body right now. It has a gut, the arms are still a little flabby, and my legs are still tree trunks (but they are tree trunks that are starting to show definition). But, BIG BUT, this body carries me for 5.5 miles at a run, it does increasingly heavier squats and bicep curls, it feels pretty darn good once it gets past the morning wake up stiffness. I have to believe that these goals are good ones. Healthy ones. Potentially fun ones.

So, there you have it. I yawn, for why I don't know?

Thanks for tuning in!!!

P.S. This Funny Fat Chic is throwing out a challenge. If any of you get trained up and successfully run The Hot Chocolate Run with me in December I will personally put $100 towards new running shoes for you. Consider yourselves challenged.