INSANITY: Week 8

Just a quick check-in this week. After my week off and a slow start last week, I got the ball rolling, logged in all my workouts, and again wondered why I bothered to take a break because I felt so good after I got back on the wagon. But maybe I felt good because I took a break, who knows? Either way, it was a good week for me both exercise and nutrition wise, minus the wine I had with my Uncle who was visiting on Saturday night.

Insanity Week 8 Results:

Weight: 174.8 (down 0.2lbs, basically I maintained over the past two weeks, go figure)
Measurements: Only one week to go until I measure, pins and needles, pins and needles...
Motivation: Pretty good, the end is in sight and I am ready to get going on the new program. My goal date is 62 days away and I have some work left to do!!
Strength Factor: I feel really good right now, I'm still not at the all "boy" push-up level, but I feel much stronger than I did when I started this endeavour and I know my fit test results reflect that. I'm ready to tackle this final week and see how I ended up.

White Girls Can't Jump!

So, I'm not like basketball height or anything. I'm not a midget either. I mean 5'6" is pretty average. But one would think I would have better hops than I do. I know height doesn't have everything to do with it. I was just hoping that I could explode a little higher than I can. When I jump, landing softly is not an option. I hit the ground and it sounds like a T-Rex is doing a jumping jack in my spare bedroom. Except my arms are actually proportionate to my body. They repeatedly say "land softly" in my videos. I mock them with each jump. I may have to change rooms soon because I feel like I am compromising the integrity of the sub floor in this one. I can't jump, not like a real jump anyways. This should come as no surprise to me. I have never been light of foot. You want to really see something... You should see me dance. It's a cross between a dry heave and a drunken Billy Ray Cyrus. Not pretty. And it's too bad 'cause I kinda like to dance. It's just nobody likes to dance with me. I really can't blame them. People don't generally risk injury for a good time. So, my other realization, which isn't a far cry from my first one, is this, I am not fast footed either. I think I might me marginally faster than I was before. But, my feet don't needle up and down like sewing machine, they more like pound up and down like a dying jack hammer. Which makes me see my high school softball nickname in a whole new light... "Hammill the Hammer". Here I was thinking it was because I could hit home runs. I would like to be fast of foot. I would like to land softly and move quickly. I would like to release my inner jungle cat. I think I keep up with the videos, but they look a lot better doing it. Maybe I can blame it on my shoes. You know, like all my shoes 'cause I seem to move the same in all of them. Damn shoes anyways for keeping from my WNBA hoop dreams.

Happy Anniversary!!

What, wait a minute, hold the phone... It's Monday, isn't there supposed to be an Insanity update??? So, here is the thing. I had a lot of quote/unquote "life" happen last week that took priority over me taking time for myself each day. It happens, it happens to everyone. What that meant is that not only did I take a break from my calorie counter, but I took a break from Insanity as well. So shoot me. I was also exhausted last week, and if this endeavour has taught me anything it is to listen to my body, and my body needed a little rest. So, that's what it got, sort of. It was still a crazy busy week, hence why you didn't hear much from me here. I am back fully to it this am and will get my program finished and on to the next one... and the next one... and the next one...

Why the Happy Anniversary you ask?? Well, on Saturday the 20th it has been exactly a year since I began this quest to get thin, get fit, and get better all over. I have been struggling, fighting, and losing for a year. Quite possibly another reason why I needed a break last week. You ever push so hard at something for so long that you get burnt out?? I felt a little burnt out last week. Most people start their weight loss goals with 20-30 pounds to lose, it takes a couple months and then they transition into their new maintenance habits/lifestyle. I have had to be in full on weight loss mode for a year. Last week I was tired of thinking about. Tired of worrying about it. Just plain old tired. So, I didn't think about it, I didn't worry about it. I just was. I didn't eat terrible by any means, as a matter of fact, I probably didn't eat any different with the exception of the two times I went out to dinner over the weekend with friends. I did drink a little which is out of my current norm, but all in all I really wasn't bad per se. I snacked a little more yesterday than I should have. I did not weigh in this morning, I weighed last Monday, so I felt like this am was the end of my week off. I am going to do a 5 day juice cleanse to get the "uggg, I drank on Saturday and ate a steak one night" feeling out of system. After that I will be back at my calorie counter. I am still going to do Insanity this week. I have two weeks left of that and I need to finish, it's important to finish your goals. After that I get to measure which is exciting/depressing/good news/bad news all rolled into one. I will see how far I have come but also how far I have to go. And I do still have some to go. People are VERY supportive of me right now and continue to tell me how good I look, but I feel like they are comparing me to the old me, and not to what a normal person should look like. I still have some jiggle in my wiggle. As a matter of fact, until I get to my goal, I am going to call these the Jiggly Days. I am officially out of the Morbidly Obese Days and even out of the Obese Days, but I am not yet in the Beautiful Happy Fit Days. I am in weight loss limbo. A purgatory of sorts. And, seriously, who wants to stay in purgatory?

I don't want you to think that I am diminishing what I have done so far. I have lost 132 pounds in a year. I have lost an average sized woman in a year. I have lost most of what is holding me back in a year. That is a big deal. It's just that the thrill is a little lost on me right now. The last bit has been coming off so slowly that I feel as though I have been hitting my head against every wall for a few months now. I have also amped up my fitness level dramatically in the past year. All done through sweat and movement. I haven't taken any pills or "supplements", I have wrapped myself with anything (although I am tempted), I haven't done anything but change my nutrition and exercise programs. I truly believe that there lies the means for me to keep the weight off. But, the few snacky days that I had in the last week and my propensity to emotionally or stress eat make me a little scared. I could feel myself slipping a little, hence the cleanse and regroup this week. Slipping happens on a slippery slope and I don't want to backslide. No way, no how. You have to try to be aware. I am aware and I am changing course before things get out of hand. But it is disappointing that I haven't beat that part of my personality back with a big enough stick to have gotten rid of it. So, yes, I am celebrating the anniversary, but I am working hard to stay focused and reach my goals. I have set a date for myself, because I feel like I need a deadline. June 30th I have a wedding to attend and two months seems like a reasonable amount of time for me to get rid of 15-20 pounds. Bring on summer, bring on the new me, bring on Glorious Maintenace Days.

Sometimes you need a break, and I don't mean a Kit Kat bar.

I abandoned my calorie counter this week. I needed a break. I was getting a little obsessive about eating EXACTLY 1,300 to 1,500 calories per day, and how many calories were in this walnut half, and how many handfuls of popcorn I could have to round off my day, and what if I add strawberries to this, and measuring everything with tablespoons, 1/4 cups, etc. It was getting to where all I thought about was how many calories I was consuming and did I get them entered in my phone. It was getting too much. I am planning on just taking this week off and then getting back to it, but I needed a mental break from it. I think the calorie counter is a good tool to be accountable and its a good plan to know what and how much you are actually consuming, but if it gets to where it's the center of your universe, it's time for a break. So, here is my calorie counter... Console it, it's having abandonment issues.

Insanity: Week 7

It's hard to believe I only have 2 weeks of Insanity left. I have a feeling I'm not going to hit all my goals, but it won't be for lack of trying. I did have a surprising event happen. They added back in the abs workout this week and I made it all the way through without cheating (some call it modifying, I call it cheating). I was quite surprised, and pleased.

I also made a mistake yesterday. I had an innocent thought. I thought, "Hey, I only have 2 weeks left of Insanity, maybe I should crack the box on the next workout and see what's in store for me." Who thought things could get harder than the second month of Insanity. TapoutXT2 I already knew would be challenging because I started with TapoutXT and it was tough. But the upcoming XT2 is gonna be a butt kicker. It has just a mere 2 days off in the first month and no days off in the second. The shortest workout is an hour and some range into 90+ minutes. If that doesn't tone up the rest of my flab then I think my quest may be hopeless. I think I opened the box so that these next two weeks of Insanity would seem super easy. And mind you, Insanity isn't exactly a walk in the park. 60 days of XT2 will take me to the first of July... Here's hoping I'll be ripped for summer!!

INSANITY: WEEK 7 RESULTS
Weight: 175lbs (Down 4.4 lbs. For the first time in years my driver's license isn't a lie)
Measurements: Not until the end, which is getting close. I did try on some jeans and I can fit some 10's in a couple of brands, yeah me, one step closer to single digits.
Motivation: Pretty darn good now that I have seen what I have to look forward to. I better rock these last two weeks so I am properly prepped for the next go round. To quote Shaun T...DIG DEEPER Y'ALL!!
Strength Factor: Good, I'm not so sore this week, I am getting better in my form, doing more "boy" push-ups, and I am getting some definite definition in my arms. All good stuff.

On a nutrition side note, I had a hard weekend. I didn't eat anything quote/unquote bad for me, but I was super snacky. My weekend plans got tanked and I was a little pouted up about that. The weather was crappy here Saturday and kept me inside too much. I have a couple things I'm stressed about. So, there you have my list of excuses. None worth stuffing my face, so, back to routine and structure tomorrow on Monday. I usually can tell if I've I lost or not before I step on the scale. It's weird, I thought for sure I had gained, I think I had some wires crossed this past week. Time to get unravelled.

Pearls of wisdon from the internet...

With the advent of facebook, pinterest, twitter, ect., ect., there are many places to pull knowledge, wisdom, motivation, and sometimes garbage from... Here is a collective gathering of tidbits that I have been witness to as of late...

You are what you eat, so don't be cheap, easy, or fake.

Strive for progress, not perfection.

You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. -Lou Holtz

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. -Jim Ryan

The difference between a goal and a dream is a deadline. -Steve Smith

It's not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion.– Muhammad Ali, Boxer

Fall down seven times, get up eight -Chinese proverb

Strength is the product of struggle.

If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will.

Sweat is fat crying. (my personal favorite)

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

What you eat in private will show up in public.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.

If you still look cute at the end of your workout then you didn't train hard enough.

The feeling you get after a workout today is what makes you want to do it again tomorrow.

When I exercise I wear all black, its like a funeral for my fat.

The difference between want and need is self-control.

Strong is the new skinny.

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.

There is just a few to keep y'all going. I know that they can be corny, but I find a little solace in them from time to time and whatever it takes to keep going is whatever it takes, corny or not.

Insanity: Week 6

Well, nothing like taking it up a notch to show yourself how NOT fit and NOT strong you are. Shaun T definitely ramps things up for the second month. The workouts are an hour long and some of the moves are much harder, some moves are the same, just more intense. I did not complete these workouts to perfection by any means this week. Which is good. I should have to work to be able to do them at the level the people on the video are doing them. By the last quarter of each video my muscles are definitely fatigued and I had to push pretty hard to finish. I did get sore this week, which is also good because if it hurts it works. I have a lot to strive for over the next three weeks. I would like my form to improve on a few of the moves, I would like to get more power jumps in when they are called for and by the end I would like all of my push-ups to be "boy" ones. Right now I am about 50/50, when I get fatigued I switch so I can keep going. What I can say for Shaun T is that I am willing to do whatever he tells me. He is a VERY good motivator and has put together a challenging program. Here's hoping I can achieve my goals over the next few weeks.

Insanity: Week 6 Results

Weight: 179.4 (up one lb, awesome)
Measurements: Not until the end... Sigh.
Motivation: Good to moderate (always a little shaky on a gain week), ready to push through these final weeks. Changing the program showed me my weaknesses so now I have some things to work on. Not feeling as badass, feeling like I need to work a little harder to be a badass.
Strength Factor: Body sore, have pinpointed my shoulders and quads as weak spots and I know that my remaining belly is compromising some of my form. Cardio strength is good, month one prepped me well for that part, now to get STRONGER!

Body Fat Percentage

There are many ways for us to judge ourselves (body wise), many standards upon which we hold ourselves to. They can range from jean size, dress size, BMI, weight, number of suicides you can do in a minute, how many inches your waist is, the list could go on forever. My latest is body fat percentage. I pitched a big ole fit on Monday about being 30% body fat when my new caliper came in the mail courtesy of Amazon.com. I didn't bother to find out what that number really meant. I just thought, "Good God, I'm still 30% fat, one GD third of me is fat, straight up nasty fat, you're disgusting Funny Fat Chic!!". So, now that I have settled down and decided to do a little research, I found out that for a woman my age I am actually in the healthy/average range for body fat percentage (I am however in the higher end of that range). I have a new goal. I would like to get into the fitness range of body fat percentages. This means I am going to need to lose 6-10% of my body fat. Now that doesn't sound nearly as daunting as x-amount of pounds. Although I'm sure if I do the math it will amount to more than ~20 that I think I need to lose. But I believe that body fat percentage might be a healthier standard to hold ourselves by. Weight doesn't account for the fact that muscle weighs more than fat and all the working out means there is lean muscle being put on underneath that icky fat. Body fat percentage only measures the fat, so it doesn't let you beat yourself up over the muscle you put on. This is part of why I am dying to measure myself to because I think I have lost inches, my pants say that I have, but I said I would wait, so I will wait. I am just stabbing in the dark here, but I think that is good to have ways to measure ourselves that don't always include beating our heads against the proverbial wall next to our scales. I know that I still need to get pounds off, but I like the idea of getting my body fat percentage down. So, don't be surprised if you see that number pop up occasionally in the blog. Here is a really good/informative article that explains body fat percentage, what the numbers mean, the different ranges, and even gives some example pictures of what people look like at various percentages. P.S. I do not look like the woman that is in a bikini at 30% body fat. If I did you probably wouldn't hear me bitching and moaning on here, I'd be somewhere in a bikini.


http://www.builtlean.com/2010/08/03/ideal-body-fat-percentage-chart/e

Arugula!

So, as you can imagine, my diet leans a little more towards salads than it used to. I have made a few discoveries along the way. My most recent one is arugula. I don't even know why they make other lettuces. It's springy without being twiggy, it's flavorful without tastings grassy, it's full of texture and is already in little bite size pieces without having to be chopped up. Don't get me wrong, I still have deep feelings for spinach and I won't turn my nose up at the occasional kale infusion, but arugula is my new love, it's fresh and fun, and new to me. My second runner up is broccoli slaw. I plug that stuff to people like I'm campaigning it for town mayor. It's good stuff, filling, full of iron and fiber and has a million uses. So, I encourage you to shake up your salad life with a new something, whether it be a funky lettuce, a new dressing, the addition of nuts, or dates (another new one for me), or a little broccoli slaw, mix it up, keep it fresh, don't settle for a boring salad!! Arugula for President!!!

Regrouping

I have been trying to just write about Insanity one day a week on Insanity update day, but after the bad day on Monday it stands to reason that I should let you in on how things went yesterday. This is the time of year when things get really busy at my work and the physical part of my job gets, well, more physical. So, I am usually a little spent at the end of the day. But, that is no excuse. I know I will survive this better if I keep going with my exercise routine. Not to mention it is a good way to burn off the stress of the day. Here is a spoiler alert... I felt better after exercising last night, not astronomically worse like I did the night before when I ate my way through a bad evening. So, back to Insanity... I had to do a Fit Test last night and the first workout of month 2. The Fit Test went well. My numbers didn't double like last time, and some stayed the same, but I wasn't expecting huge jumps like the first time. I did increase several of the moves and felt pretty good about that. Then came the workout. Now, I was already a little spent from the Fit Test, you do go all out for 8 different moves for one minute each, it's not extremely hard, but it's no walk in the park either. The month 2 workouts are longer, this one was an hour. And let me tell you something, month 1 meant NOTHING. This was an all out sweat fest and I'm still not sure my heart rate has come down. My clothes were wringing wet when I got done, literally. Shaun T knocked the holy heck outta me and it was exactly what I needed. I needed to sweat, and groan, and fight my way through a gruelling workout. It did more for me mentally than anything I ever put in my mouth has. I just wish when I get blindsided by those days that I would remember that good feeling of accomplishment I feel after a workout instead of the self-loathing feeling I have after a bad night. So, I shall continue my quest on Insanity and hopefully get better at these month 2 workouts because I definitely didn't complete it perfectly last night, but I'm gonna work on it. I'm glad that I regrouped, got my act together, and am back on the bus.

Self-loathing

Whoa. Stop the bus. Let me off. I had a horribly self-sabotaging evening. Why? I have no friggin idea.
Have I gotten too many compliments lately and I feel the need cause myself drama?
Did I feel a little off today and decide to ride that wave all the way into the evening?
Has the back and forth guy jerked my chain again?
Did I gain 0.4 lbs that probably mean nothing but have me upset that I can't even have a recovery week or Easter dinner without gaining?
Am I getting close to a goal and feel the need to challenge myself?
Did my evening plans get set back by working late and cause me to pout my way through the rest of the evening?
Did some of my family issues rear their ugly head yesterday because it was a holiday?
Did I buy a body fat caliber and use it to find out I'm almost 30% fat and let that depressing fact allow me to stuff my face?
Has all my inner demon wrestling made me hungry?
Well, I think the answer is a resounding YES to all of the above. But did I want to talk about it, nope, I wanted to eat about it. So, now what? Sit and stress about my double order of salad (with trimmings) and the sesame snap snacks and homemade hummus and the fact that I didn't workout and that I know all of it was for the wrong reasons. There goes my weekend day off. Nothing I ate was "bad" food, but it was too much, waaaay too much. Why do these set back days happen? I was kinda hoping I was past them. It's like I'm blindsided when it happens. Bam! Out of no where. Yesterday (Sunday) I was hiking and being excited about starting my final month of Insanity. Today (Monday) I've gained weight, let a guy and members of my family get in my head, and allowed a plastic claw with numbers wipe out my self-esteem. What's worse, I'm super conscience of these days now. It's not like I'm blindly eating or lightly blowing off a workout, no, I'm well aware of what I'm doing, how it makes me feel both physically and psychologically, both amount to "I feel like poop on a stick". So, I'm gonna go to bed, get my act together, blow off what I did and didn't accomplish this evening (none of it good), and make a fresh start tomorrow. Sigh. Pffffft. Two thumbs down.

INSANITY Week 5

Recovery week over... It was a good workout, I sweated a little but wasn't whipped afterwards like the regular workouts. It was strange doing the same workout everyday. The Hip Flexor Burners were aptly named as in my hip flexors burned. I added the abs workout on to three days because someday I would like to have abs (insert disbelieving chuckle here). I am a little scared for what is about to come tonight with starting Month 2. I may pass out... or throw up... or want to quit... or just plain die. Who knows?? Stay tuned. If I die you may not have anything to read. If I live everything may be misspelled and blurred because I won't be able to lift my fingers. Hard to say. I'm ready to really sweat tonight and get that Easter dinner out of me. I have ham bloat today. It was so good, but I ate just a little too much as my body is informing me. But I love ham. It's so tasty. And I made a salad that was too die for. And don't get me started on the asparagus with cheese sauce. But I digress. Here are the stats for this week...

INSANITY Week 5

Weight: 178.4 (up 0.4 from last week, not surprising with Easter dinner and my inability to "maintain" my weight... If I'm not losing I'm gaining)
Measurements: Not until the end!! But I'm dying to...
Motivation: Leery and excited all in one fail swoop. Kinda crazy that I only have 4 weeks left!!
Strength: I feel pretty good. I had a bit of a back spasm last night (happens to me sometimes, weird, but it ain't much fun). Everything feels good and strong today and I'm ready to roll for tonight's Fit Test and workout. Bring it on Shaun T, BRING. IT. ON.