Low rise pants, popcorn, and lead feet.

1. I feel like low-rise pants are the most ridiculous thing out there meant to be as silly as gangsters wearing their pants around their knees. If I wanted to see early twenty something butt cracks seventy five times a day I would go to the beach. If I wanted my butt crack seen by the masses I would streak a college football game. I need something less silly to worry about besides doing a VERY unattractive dance to pull up my britches all day long. I'm not saying we all need to go back to wearing "mom" jeans, but isn't there a happy medium (rise).

2. I resent my calorie counter this week. Which is dumb. It's inanimate and only tells me what I tell it. It means no harm. It's honest, does it's job, never complains. I should probably give it a raise.

3. I have been super busy this week. I have been super restless this week. Like get in the car and not stop driving until I hit a border or an ocean and then make a turn and drive some more. I blame the full moon.

4. I really want to get my nails done. And my toes done. I need to feel girly for a minute instead of dirty... Or sweaty... Or dirty.

5. Whoever invented popcorn... Wait, whoever discovered popcorn, something a great pioneer accomplished, I would like to meet them and shake their hand (maybe kiss their feet) in my next life. After them, I'm moving onto the guy that first made beef jerky. And once I'm done thanking that dude I'm hitting up the brave soul that first dived into a beehive and brought out honey. They all deserve a little recognition.

6. I love my new workout shoes. They are light and comfy. They are funky and fun colors. They do make working out a little more fun.

7. It's Easter this weekend. Another food holiday. Wink, wink. I am excited not only for the real reason for this holiday but also for the resulting pig I'm going to consume. Ham is in my top ten list of favorite dinners.  It's a good gathering food, and we will be gathering.

8. My Ninja rocks. It gets my day going by blending my banana/hemp/almond milk confection. It pulses, it chops, it dices, it does my laundry, it throws Chinese stars, it has a black belt, it's going to make hummus this weekend. Not all of my previous statements are true.

9. I'm fighting off my feelings of restlessness for the weekend by keeping myself busy with spring projects... Rearranging my bedroom... Spring yard clean-up... Burn pile... Contemplating painting the workout room, but what color?? Wish me luck and lead feet to keep me anchored.

I was FAAAAAT!

Have you ever seen the movie 'In and Out'? It has Joan Cusack in it. She is nothing short of a hysterical, hold your sides, totally ridiculous kind of funny. The gist of her role is as the fiance of a teacher that gets outed by a former student accepting an Oscar on national television. They live in a small, rural community not yet exposed to something as "big city" as being gay. She lost a ton of weight for their wedding that ends up not happening at the alter because her fiance turns out to actually be gay. My favorite scene is towards the end of the movie. She is sitting in the middle of the street in her wedding dress pitching a world class fit. The former student finds her and asks what happened to her, referring to her being skinny, not referring to the obvious like how she ended up in the middle of the street in a wedding dress. She squawks, as only Joan Cusack could... "Well, I was FAAAAAAT". She sobs on about how she lost the weight for the wedding by rocking a Richard Simmons fitness program, but the one line that always sticks with me is the FAAAAT one.

Yesterday I had a fat day. It's so weird when it happens. Even though I'm losing weight, getting fitter, really working my nutrition, sometimes I feel like I still weigh 307lbs. It's bizarre. Almost like an out of body thing. My limbs feel heavy, my gut feels ginormous and in the way, basically I feel FAAAAAT! I don't know why those days happen. I always feel like the fat chic in the room to some degree, but the "fat days" are different. I don't do anything about them other than try not to eat my way through them. They haven't stopped me from working towards my goals... so far. Maybe I have days like that to remind me that I'm not quite there yet and I need to keep pushing. I don't know if I'll ever see myself as thin or fit, but even if my vision is blurred, I'm not gonna stop trying. I've come way to far to stop now. Fat day aside, I will not always be a fat chic. One day I will just be a Funny Chic.

Cold showers, not just for teenage boys anymore...

I read a lot. Always have. When I'm on a kick I read about what's kickin. So, for obvious reasons I have been reading a lot of weight loss oriented stuff. I have subscribed to several newsletters (shocking), bought several books (even more shocking), and do my fair share of GOOGLE searches (God bless the Internet). This next little tidbit came across from a newsletter run by a certified (for what it's worth) nutritionist and professional physical fitness trainer. WARNING... My next statement will lead to Google-ing. Apparently, NASA figured out that you can lose weight by taking cold showers. Or more specifically, alternating hot for 10 seconds and cold for 20 seconds for a total of 5 minutes. Now, I have an innate fear of being cold, so this approach doesn't really appeal to me. Like, I will do whatever it takes, wear whatever it takes, and huddle where ever I need to to stay warm. My shower knows no other setting other than all the way on hot and for as long as my hot water heater will hold out. But, according to the space cadets, messing with your thermo-regulation will accelerate weight loss, and by a pretty good percentage, something like 30% more fat loss if taking cold showers. I'm not a proponent of quick fixes, they are usually expensive, don't last, and aren't all that good for you. And I am speaking of all the fad diets, pill fixes, and anything that basically doesn't involve hard work and self control. But, I honestly can't come up with a downside of trying this other than getting cold, which like I said, is not my cup of tea. I liken it to magnet therapy, it may or may not do anything but it darn sure isn't going to hurt ya and may only cause slight and short-lived discomfort. So, who knows, maybe the guys over at NASA are onto something... Maybe there is a cold shower conspiracy... Maybe I should start reading about something else. I guess the moral of today's story is go have a cold one!!

Insanity: Week 4

I walked a little taller this week. Is it possible Insanity is improving my posture??? I think it may be improving my attitude. This was the end if month 1. I now have what they call a recovery week before starting month 2. You still workout, but I'm not sure what it's going to entail. Somehow I instinctively know Shaun T will find a way to make me sweat anyways. I'm excited and a little afraid of what month 2 will bring. I feel like the real work is about to ensue. As a reward for finishing the first month I did a little retail therapy. I scored a pair of size ten jeans that are what I want to comfortably wear by the end if this next month. I can get them on, but again, I don't feel they are fit for pubic viewing. By the way, I am happily rocking my 11's now, the real jean 11's, no lycra here! I also bought some funky fun workout shoes because everyone should feel funky and fun while working out. Plus, a couple pairs of workout pants WITH drawstring waists to avoid the embarrassing pants around the ankles scene that had become routine during my workouts. I polished off my "treat myself" weekend by taking the dogs for a long hike on Sunday. So, all in all a pretty good weekend after working hard all week. I feel like I completed my workouts proficiently and that I was keeping up for the most part with the people in the video. I'm still not sore at all which leads me to believe I should enjoy that feeling for a few more days before month 2 starts.  I picked out two women in the video I would like to look like. They aren't what I would describe as super skinny, but they are super fit and athletic looking. That's what I would like to be. If I don't get into my size 6 jeans that's ok (a bit of a waste, but ok), but I want to look fit, athletic, and healthy. Last time I was so skinny I ate next to nothing and ran 8+ miles a day and worked out on the other end of the day. I was exhausted all the time and thought of nothing else but staying skinny. I was miserable and obviously didn't maintain it. This time, I feel good, no, I feel great, I feel like I am building some manageable maintenance tools, and I've reached a place where I'm not miserable. Am I 24/7 happy, heck no, who is??, but I'm not killing myself to obtain my goals, I'm just working towards them, consistently.

Insanity: Week 4 Results

Weight: 178.0 (down 2.4 lbs)
Measurements: Not until the end
Motivation: Good! I'm looking forward to my recovery week and am excited to see what my results will be in the final month. I really want to measure myself, but I'm letting the anticipation keep driving me forward.
Strength Factor: Very good! I feel right as rain right now. I believe this might be the calm before the storm. I may feel like a pile if wet noodles after month 2 starts, only time will tell!

It's good to have goals.

My newest and most current goal is to not have to worry about sucking in my stomach all the time. I think, think, it's getting flatter, but I know it still has what looks like a deflated tire hanging off of it, so, here is me, sucking in my stomach. Now, this isn't the best example of a healthy, motivating goal, but what can I say, not every thought I have is a pure as the driven snow. Despite the off-handedness of my current goal, my heart is in the right place. It is good to have goals. They give you something to strive for. I have many... MANY... goals. Everything from my weight, to pants size, to number of burpees I can do in a minute (thanks to Insanity's Fit test, that ridiculous move is now a motivational goal in my life, who knew?), to emotional goals, and professional ones... the list goes on. What I am beating around the bush about is that if you don't set a destination in mind you won't be as driven as if you are just going through the motions for no apparent reason. Just doing your workouts so that you can say you did them isn't quite enough. I know, as if getting it done wasn't hard enough, now you have to try. I was feeling VERY lead footed the other night and I had to dig a little deeper to push myself through the workout and really get after it. When I was done, I was darn glad I did. I was flopping around, realized my stomach was flopping with me and I got my hiney in gear. See, my goal of not having a flopping stomach came in handy, just when I needed it. So, over the weekend I challenge all of you readers to set yourself some goals. Don't put unrealistic time lines on them, that is where goals get dangerous, when we make them unattainable, but do set some. Give yourself something to work towards. And when you reach them, REJOICE, CELEBRATE, TREAT YOURSELF TO SOME SKINNY JEANS AND CUTE SHOES. Ok, that's what I'm gonna do, what are you gonna do??

The Biggest Loser

Yesterday someone asked me if I saw the finale of The Biggest Loser. I hadn't, I don't watch the show. I have my reasons, and lucky you, you are about to get to hear them. It's gonna be my two cents worth, it's actually gonna be more like a buck fifty, but it's probably only worth two cents. Remember about slapping me if I get too self-righteous yesterday... That may become reality today.

First, I don't like reality tv. It's not worth me taking the time to watch tv for that kind of drivel. Biggest Loser is probably at the better end of all those shows, but I still feel like it is staged to large degree and just not worth me riding the couch to watch.

Secondly, I'm a little bitter that they have personal trainers and nutritionist that take all the thinking and planning it takes to lose weight out of the equation for them. Granted, they have to stand in their underwear and get weighed on national television, but I'd give anything for a nutritionist and personal trainer to make my journey a little smoother.

Third thing, I feel sorry for them because they have a personal trainer and nutritionist. Oh, the contradiction. A large percentage of these people go home and gain their weight back. My theory is that they take them out of their everyday environment, the place where they live "fat" lives, and they get them results in a foreign land filled with support teams, and send them back home without changing their "fat" place. They may learn that broccoli is better than a big mac, but they don't learn to change their everyday normal. They are basically at summer camp and then have to go back to reality. If you don't struggle through your day to day some and learn to handle your new habits in the same life you are bound to fail. There are triggers all over my life and in my home that make me want to overeat, but I've learned to manage them. Had I lost weight somewhere else and come back home, without all the professional support system that the contestants have become accustomed to, I promise I would gain it back too.

I don't want diminish what these people accomplish. Any major weightless requires blood, sweat, and tears. What they do and achieve is very commendable. I feel like the show sets them up for failure. There is so much more to losing weight than just cutting calories and exercising. At home is where your weight loss quest is won or lost, where you are accountable to yourself, not millions of viewers. Lying to yourself is easy, really easy, and the slope is slippery enough to slide right down. When there are no cameras or an audience to witness your back slide, it becomes pretty easy to do just that, back slide. Also, I feel like Jillian Michaels is evil, mean, and a poor motivator, just sayin. If I'm gonna watch a weight loss show I think it would be Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. He lives with them for the first part and gets them started and set up, builds them a home gym, stocks their fridge and then leaves them. He monitors them, comes for their weigh-ins and is available at the drop of a hat if they need him, but they have to do the work in their "fat" environment and change it to their "fit and healthy" environment. That's a better deal in my mind. So, kudos to the contestants of The Biggest Loser, and I truly hope they can keep it off, I'm just not gonna watch it.

Feel Free to Slap Me Silly

I saw one of those cartoon/saying/statement thingies on Facebook the other day that said "No one wants to hear about your workout unless you fell off the treadmill". I laughed. I LOL'd. I had myself a good chuckle. But then I got to thinking, "Am I turning into that person??". I know all of you that read this are reading because you want to, there is no proverbial gun being held to your heads. You can switch me off any time you want to. But in my everyday life, I sure hope I'm not turning into that person that incessantly talks about their workouts and their diet, etc. I think I try not to, but if you catch me on the street and I am dripping with self-righteousness and tales of how many one arm push-ups and burpees I did that day and all you asked me was "Hey, how's it going??", feel free to slap me right back into reality. I won't hit back, I promise.