Hey... Do you ever sit there and wonder to yourself... "What the heck ever happened to Funny Fat Chic?? Did she get all skinny and abandon us??" WRONG. Dead wrong. What happened is I got fat, AGAIN, got embarrassed AGAIN, and THEN abandoned you. So, you can put that little bit of seething distaste that you had for me away because you thought that I was out there looking good.
So, here is where we are at today. Over the past year I have managed to put a good amount of weight back on. I don't think I have put quite all of it on. But I refuse to step on a scale, so that could just be the denial talking. I gained most of it in the early part of the year, so let's say that I have been holding steady for about 6 months. I had some other MAJOR life changes as well. Here is a list... You know 'cause around here at the Final Fifty (or 60... or 85... whatever) we love ourselves a list.
1. I am a part-time photographer. I don't think I quite had that off the ground when I was writing you before. It has become a pretty vital part of my life. To the point that it is now, currently my main source of income. Which leads me to change #2.
2. I quit my day job. I just up and quit my day job. I was a large animal technician at an exclusively horse hospital. I say exclusively, but I have been party to working on alpacas, llamas, camels, cows, deer, elk, kangaroos, zebras, and the list goes on. I know if there are any animal lovers out there you are thinking this sounds like the most awesome job in the world. It's not. And the place I worked had some human dynamics that were less than stellar. Between how beat up my body was getting from getting tossed around by 1,500 lb. animals all day long and how stressed I was getting by the people, and how incredibly low my salary was, it was time for me to go. Where did I go you ask???
3. I went back to school. I am currently going back to college at the ripe old age of 34 to finish my CPA. I have an Ag Business degree (read that as though it means nothing, because it does) which means that I had a good portion of the class requirements filled already. So, here is me trying to be an accountant. But how are living you ask??
4. Not to fear. I am uber frugal and I saved up a bunch of dough before I quit my job. My photography business is doing well. I am a part-time bookkeeper for a local real estate agent. AND, just for fun, I work one day a week at the biggest winery in my little valley. The pay is terrible, but the discount on wine is TOTALLY worth it.
5. I have started sleeping through the night. I know it seems weird that I put this in my list of life changes, but it has actually changed my life. My insomnia has always been an ever-present part of my life and I kinda took it to just be normal. I read a lot of books, operated my daily activities at a sub-par level, and could, on almost a daily basis, be a real bitch (ear muffs). I started sleeping through the night about two weeks after I quit my job. Further proof that that place was eating me alive. Or at the very least making me eat every thing alive in sight.
That pretty much covers the major life changes. So, why return to the blog???
Well, I am currently two weeks into getting back into some kind of workout routine, for starters. Pause for the shock and awe at the fact that I started this project pre-New Year's resolution. I am currently in the phase of where I am realizing how out of shape I am, I am extremely hungry all the time, and since I won't step on a scale I have no proof of this, but I think I have actually gained weight. Time to talk about it before I quit doing it.
Secondly, I don't hate myself. Wait...What???? Yeah, so, here's the thing. I. Don't. Hate. Myself. I don't love my fat. But I don't hate myself. I have always fought this weight/fitness battle driven purely by hatred for myself. Not this time. As it turns out, thick or thin, I am a good person. I am smart. I am funny. I am honest. What's to hate??? Will this make the difference in me having lasting success this time? Who knows. And end of the day, who cares. Know why??? Because... I. Don't. Hate. Myself. Finally, there is a dude. I don't know if he is THE DUDE. But in a lonely attempt to meet someone, I got on the great wide world of Internet dating. Gag. Head hung in shame. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What was I thinking? But, after sifting through a ton of freaks I have met a dude I like. Let's be honest, I like him a lot. I call him Captain America. I won't go into the gushy details as to why, but if I ever mention Captain America on the blog you will know who I am talking about. We have been talking for a few weeks now. He lives about 7 hours away, so, we are working on the details of actually meeting, but it is fun getting to know him. As a result, I am having all kinds of girly thoughts aka insecurities. For instance, will he turn and run when he first lays eyes on me. If things go well, are we gonna, well, I'll just say it, see each other naked? Gawd. Plus, the thought of shopping for a wedding dress mortifies me (talk about cart before the horse, it's great being a girl!). That last one is totally my best friend's fault. She started talking about bridesmaids dresses about 37 seconds after I told her his name.
So, hey, welcome back into my crazy, curly-headed, double chinned head. Let's get healthy, AGAIN!!!
Your the best!!
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