Have you ever heard that slogan?? New year, new you.
It is the devoted chant of New Year's resolution makers across the world. I'm tapping out on the inspirational chant this year. Couple of reasons... Fat (emphasis on the fat) lot of good it has done me in the past. I have vowed time and time again to lose weight after the first of the year. Do better. Eat better. Exercise more. I just knew I would be better person for it. Right now I am fat and I am not a bad person. So, if it is in your heart at all that those two things are synonymous, put a stop to it right now. If you aren't at your perfect weight, you are still beautiful, you are still good, you are amazingly you. You don't need a new you. You is perfect. Not to throw any religion at you, but you were made by someone that knows a lot more about life than you do. HE made you perfectly you. Thick or thin. It is society and our own interpretations of its expectations that make us think we need to be a new us. So, stop hating yourself right now. It will be a million times more valuable to your health than a 1,000 miles on a treadmill will ever be. Secondly, why do we have to wait until the new year to make a change in our lives. I like to challenge the rules of life a little. That's why I bucked the system and started 3 weeks early this year. Ha, take that New Year's resolution. I beat you to the punch.
What does all this pseudo-philosophy mean for my New Year's celebrating this evening???
Nothing. I'm gonna party like it is 19-99!! I'm gonna eat naughty, cream cheese based dips... Off of chips no less. I'm even gonna make one of my own and take it to the party. I'm gonna have a few libations because, dang it, I have friends that are fun to drink with. I'm gonna laugh. I'm gonna poke fun at some people. I'm gonna cheer Boise State all the way to victory. I'm gonna have a good time. I'm going to try and do it in moderation. But if I overindulge, I'm not going to hate myself tomorrow. I'm going to plug in Shaun T and bust my butt. I'm happy just thinking about it.
Happy New Year's Final Fifty fans!!! Thank you for tuning in. It makes think I'm not alone in this eternal battle of the bulge. CHEERS!!!
P.S. I ate at Olive Garden last night. Basically the worst place for a person watching what they eat to eat at. I did really good. I skipped the breadsticks (not the salad, I LOVE their salad) and had rosemary chicken with roasted garlic on a bead of fresh spinach with a side of garlic mashed potatoes. AND, for the first time in I can't remember how long, I didn't finish my plate. It was delicious, but I got full. I realized it. I stopped eating. Don't expect this kind of news every day from me.
P.P.S. It was leg day today. My legs feel like I just got off a very small ocean vessel. Thank you Shaun T for reminding me that I have a loooooooooong way to go.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Progress
Today is the day. What day is it you ask??? Today is the first day I have noticed some progress!!! Let's break it down...
1. I tried today. But isn't just the act of doing the workout trying? Yes. And no. Today is the first day that I thought to myself, "I can push a little harder." And I did. They say your get more results that way, we'll see. What I know for sure is that I wanted to try harder. That is a big step.
2. I did more hopping and less modifying. Remember Tanya? Well, she does the low impact version of everything. God bless her little heart. There is A LOT of jumping in T25. Today I did most of it, not all of it, but most of it.
3. I steamed up the windows in my workout room. Now, some might attribute this to the fact that it is only 8 degrees outside and the combination of humid indoor heat vs. the frigid dry air outside created foggy windows. I say it is because I'm burnin it up on my workout. I had to muster up a lot of enthusiasm that I don't necessarily have to write that last sentence, so go ahead and give me a virtual high-five on that one. As a side note, did you know that the way to have a perfect, never miss, high-five is to look at the other person's elbow during the undertaking of the high-five. You're welcome.
4. I could bend over a little more today. AKA I felt more flexible. Over the past few months my body has been assuming approximately three positions, sitting at the computer, walking to class, and sleeping. There has been a little variety thrown in with a photo shoot here and there but those lead to more computer time. So, all this bending over, doing quad stretches, standing on one foot stuff has been a little foreign to me and my core the past 3 weeks. They keep saying core in the videos, jury is still on whether or not I have one. Today, I felt pretty good. Don't get me wrong, I am still acutely aware of my gut while I am bending over. I am still cussing every dimple in my thighs when I'm down there staring at them. My hips are still stiff as hell. But the title for today is PROGRESS, not perfection.
5. And finally, I could clap under my knee during the Heisman. You would have to be doing T25 to understand that gibberish sentence I just threw at you, but believe me, that's a big deal.
Added bonus tip for today (me being preachy again)... DRINK YOUR WATER. I mean it. It is super hard this time of year because it is cold outside. But, you will feel better, your skin will be more moisturized (I looked like a molting lizard 3 weeks ago, now I am glowing (hahahaha), not really, but I'm not flaking dry skin everywhere now), your kidneys will be happy, and you will flush all the holiday junk out of your system. Here's what I'm doing: I drink a minimum of 3 liter bottles of water per day plus I keep a pitcher of lemon water in the fridge. Sometimes I throw in some mint. Sometimes I don't. I try to drink another several mason jar glasses (I'm redneck like that) of that water a day. Moral of the story... DRINK YOUR WATER.
1. I tried today. But isn't just the act of doing the workout trying? Yes. And no. Today is the first day that I thought to myself, "I can push a little harder." And I did. They say your get more results that way, we'll see. What I know for sure is that I wanted to try harder. That is a big step.
2. I did more hopping and less modifying. Remember Tanya? Well, she does the low impact version of everything. God bless her little heart. There is A LOT of jumping in T25. Today I did most of it, not all of it, but most of it.
3. I steamed up the windows in my workout room. Now, some might attribute this to the fact that it is only 8 degrees outside and the combination of humid indoor heat vs. the frigid dry air outside created foggy windows. I say it is because I'm burnin it up on my workout. I had to muster up a lot of enthusiasm that I don't necessarily have to write that last sentence, so go ahead and give me a virtual high-five on that one. As a side note, did you know that the way to have a perfect, never miss, high-five is to look at the other person's elbow during the undertaking of the high-five. You're welcome.
4. I could bend over a little more today. AKA I felt more flexible. Over the past few months my body has been assuming approximately three positions, sitting at the computer, walking to class, and sleeping. There has been a little variety thrown in with a photo shoot here and there but those lead to more computer time. So, all this bending over, doing quad stretches, standing on one foot stuff has been a little foreign to me and my core the past 3 weeks. They keep saying core in the videos, jury is still on whether or not I have one. Today, I felt pretty good. Don't get me wrong, I am still acutely aware of my gut while I am bending over. I am still cussing every dimple in my thighs when I'm down there staring at them. My hips are still stiff as hell. But the title for today is PROGRESS, not perfection.
5. And finally, I could clap under my knee during the Heisman. You would have to be doing T25 to understand that gibberish sentence I just threw at you, but believe me, that's a big deal.
Added bonus tip for today (me being preachy again)... DRINK YOUR WATER. I mean it. It is super hard this time of year because it is cold outside. But, you will feel better, your skin will be more moisturized (I looked like a molting lizard 3 weeks ago, now I am glowing (hahahaha), not really, but I'm not flaking dry skin everywhere now), your kidneys will be happy, and you will flush all the holiday junk out of your system. Here's what I'm doing: I drink a minimum of 3 liter bottles of water per day plus I keep a pitcher of lemon water in the fridge. Sometimes I throw in some mint. Sometimes I don't. I try to drink another several mason jar glasses (I'm redneck like that) of that water a day. Moral of the story... DRINK YOUR WATER.
Monday, December 29, 2014
The Beachbody Dynasty
I know you are all waiting on pins and needles to see what kind of workout I'm doing this time around. Have you ever seen the cartoon saying things on Facebook and other social media, you the ones that have vintage looking people drawn with funny little notes?? I'm not cool enough to know what they are really called, but you know what I am talking about. Anyways, I saw one the other day that said, "No one wants to hear about your workout unless you fell off the treadmill." I got a good chuckle from that one. I didn't laugh until I cried or anything, but it was worth at least a smiling smirk. I, however, assume that you are here reading this because you do want to hear about my workout. If you don't, I'm sure there are 75 million other blogs out there that might interest you.
Here goes nothing... Remember when I was insane and did Insanity??? Well, as it turns out, I really like Shaun T. If it weren't for our many differences (he's fit, I'm not, he's a city kid, I'm not, he is famous, I'm not, the list goes on) I would probably be begging to have his babies. His workouts are work. That is the number one thing I look for in a workout, don't you? Sometimes when he is just warming things up you think to yourself this isn't so bad. That is a mistake, a very big mistake. He is also encouraging. He never puts me down for not being able to something (Tony Horton, I mean you). Right now I am doing T25. I was lured in by the thought of only working out for 25 minutes a day. Let's face it, 25 minutes is actually an hour by the time you find, and begrudgingly put on, your workout clothes, round up a water bottle, hit play, watch the Shakeology commercial at the start of every DVD, workout, cool down, spend enough time lollygagging around that you finally stop sweating and can go take a shower, a 25 minute workout is at least an hour, or more. I know, I know, what's an hour of your day if it means being healthy and fit. Well, quite frankly, it's a lot. I know I am not the only person with a busy life. Everybody has something going on that keeps them from devoting the time that they should to their health. So, here I am trying out T25. Here is the vast difference between T25 and Insanity. There are NO breaks. That's right, there are absolutely NO breaks. My legs are shaking almost daily with the non-stop action of T25. Here is the second major difference... In Shaun T's videos there is always this chic named Tanya. I hated her in Insanity. My hatred for Tanya was the only thing that kept me going some days. She seemed smug. Everything was just so easy for her. And about halfway through I convinced myself that she was Shaun T's girlfriend. She was after my man. Oh, HELL no! In T25 Tanya is still there. Always at Shaun T's side. Tanya is my new best friend. I love her. I wouldn't be able to do this without her. See, Tanya is the modifier. There are days I have a hard time keeping up with her. But if she wasn't there low impacting the workout for me, I might have quit after day two. Life lesson learned, never judge people, you don't when you might need them. Today is the start of week 3 of T25. I'm gonna kill it, I just know it... Pffffft. Who invented the burpee anyways? Last week I also ordered Hip Hop Abs. Stifle your laughter. It was on sale. I am sucker for a sale. I have no rhythm and no abs. It promises me both of those things. Shaun T has his work cut out for him.
It seems that I am loyal to the Beachbody crew. I have P90X (good workout, hate Tony Horton), Insanity, T25, coming soon Hip Hop Abs. My best friend has Chalene Johnson's workouts. I know that it is hard to want to support these sculpted, fitness millionaires, but in all honesty, they kinda have it figured out. Their eating plans are not drastic, they are reasonable, unfortunately, just a little more reasonable than I would like. Their exercise routines are challenging, but not undoable. I'm not advocating one over another, I'm just saying that I have to do something. They took all the thinking right out of it for me. I get up, I look at their calendar, and they tell me, "Hey stupid, today is cardio day", or, "Lucky you, we are doing lower body today." I don't have to do the planning, they have it all ready to go. I am willing to pay for that. And, in the long run, it is a lot cheaper for me to shake my fat in the comfort of my own home than it is to go shake it in front of a bunch of strangers at the gym. I guess all I am saying is that it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you do something. I can be preachy like that, I have been working out forever (two whole weeks).
Here goes nothing... Remember when I was insane and did Insanity??? Well, as it turns out, I really like Shaun T. If it weren't for our many differences (he's fit, I'm not, he's a city kid, I'm not, he is famous, I'm not, the list goes on) I would probably be begging to have his babies. His workouts are work. That is the number one thing I look for in a workout, don't you? Sometimes when he is just warming things up you think to yourself this isn't so bad. That is a mistake, a very big mistake. He is also encouraging. He never puts me down for not being able to something (Tony Horton, I mean you). Right now I am doing T25. I was lured in by the thought of only working out for 25 minutes a day. Let's face it, 25 minutes is actually an hour by the time you find, and begrudgingly put on, your workout clothes, round up a water bottle, hit play, watch the Shakeology commercial at the start of every DVD, workout, cool down, spend enough time lollygagging around that you finally stop sweating and can go take a shower, a 25 minute workout is at least an hour, or more. I know, I know, what's an hour of your day if it means being healthy and fit. Well, quite frankly, it's a lot. I know I am not the only person with a busy life. Everybody has something going on that keeps them from devoting the time that they should to their health. So, here I am trying out T25. Here is the vast difference between T25 and Insanity. There are NO breaks. That's right, there are absolutely NO breaks. My legs are shaking almost daily with the non-stop action of T25. Here is the second major difference... In Shaun T's videos there is always this chic named Tanya. I hated her in Insanity. My hatred for Tanya was the only thing that kept me going some days. She seemed smug. Everything was just so easy for her. And about halfway through I convinced myself that she was Shaun T's girlfriend. She was after my man. Oh, HELL no! In T25 Tanya is still there. Always at Shaun T's side. Tanya is my new best friend. I love her. I wouldn't be able to do this without her. See, Tanya is the modifier. There are days I have a hard time keeping up with her. But if she wasn't there low impacting the workout for me, I might have quit after day two. Life lesson learned, never judge people, you don't when you might need them. Today is the start of week 3 of T25. I'm gonna kill it, I just know it... Pffffft. Who invented the burpee anyways? Last week I also ordered Hip Hop Abs. Stifle your laughter. It was on sale. I am sucker for a sale. I have no rhythm and no abs. It promises me both of those things. Shaun T has his work cut out for him.
It seems that I am loyal to the Beachbody crew. I have P90X (good workout, hate Tony Horton), Insanity, T25, coming soon Hip Hop Abs. My best friend has Chalene Johnson's workouts. I know that it is hard to want to support these sculpted, fitness millionaires, but in all honesty, they kinda have it figured out. Their eating plans are not drastic, they are reasonable, unfortunately, just a little more reasonable than I would like. Their exercise routines are challenging, but not undoable. I'm not advocating one over another, I'm just saying that I have to do something. They took all the thinking right out of it for me. I get up, I look at their calendar, and they tell me, "Hey stupid, today is cardio day", or, "Lucky you, we are doing lower body today." I don't have to do the planning, they have it all ready to go. I am willing to pay for that. And, in the long run, it is a lot cheaper for me to shake my fat in the comfort of my own home than it is to go shake it in front of a bunch of strangers at the gym. I guess all I am saying is that it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you do something. I can be preachy like that, I have been working out forever (two whole weeks).
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Fat Miranda Lambert
Today is my day off on the workout schedule. So, if you were looking for a post about me whining over my jiggling midsection, or my jiggling rear end, or my jiggling ear lobes, or my jiggling EVERYTHING, come back tomorrow.
I am on winter break from school. Yeah me! This means I am finding something for myself to do. I have a hard time sitting still. You would think that would lend itself to a high metabolism and a rockin bod, WRONG. Any-who, I am redoing my bedroom. Like a total overhaul. I need some instant gratification in my life. Obviously the workout gig is a long-term investment to see results kind of thing. When in doubt, paint something. I am painting, installing new flooring, painting the dresser, and hanging stuff on the walls. My bedroom is only 85 square feet. I only mention this because I don't want you to think I am one of those freaks on PBS that can redo an entire house in one afternoon.
As with any good undertaking, the first step is getting organized. The pile of clothes at the foot of my bed that I have been working out of for the past 6-8 months does not scream "organized". The reason they are piled up is that my closet is full of cute clothes. Scratch that, cute, skinny, clothes. I have clothes that range from size 5 to size 20. This means that I have ranged from size 5 to size 20. Take a second to think about that. I have dropped and ballooned to those sizes 3 times in my life. And, lucky me, I have the next two weeks to reflect on that. Pffffft (fart noise, thumbs down). So, the past few days have been spent organizing clothes. Getting rid of stuff that I will NEVER wear again. Packing away stuff that doesn't fit. Hanging up stuff that does. Now, if I am being realistic, do I really think that I am ever going to be a size 5 again. Nope. Sure don't. Did I toss any of those size 5 clothes. Nope. Sure didn't. How's that for an altered sense of reality??? I have a lot of clothes. More than I realized. A lot more. There are some select people that are benefitting from this. Many of them shop at Goodwill. If I think something is really cute, I place it in a good home that has a healthy sense of fashion.
This all sounds like I am some kind of fashionista. If you met me personally you would know that I am about the most low maintenance person on the planet. I cut my own hair for crying out loud. I have however been told once or twice that I do have a nice sense of style. I translate this to mean, "Hey, good job camouflaging your fat!!" I had this idea earlier this summer... I would like to open a boutique called Fat Miranda Lambert. I like her style, for the most part. It is a little hippy, meets a little country, with a touch of glamour thrown in for good measure. Plus she has tattoos, I dig that. With her recent weight loss triumphs she would probably fit the end of my closet that I just packed up, the elusive size 5's. I would love to offer clothing that gives plus size gals the same options as the not-so-plus-size gals (kudos to me for not saying skinny bitches (earmuffs)). I would like to have cowboy boots that I can wear with leggings that have some wiggle room around my fat calves. I would like to have tank tops that don't have arm pits open half way down my side. You know, so I can actually just wear a tank top and a bra in the summer. Not two tank tops and a bra. Speaking of bras, I would like one that accommodates the fact that I am big ribbed and small boobed. Right now all I can wear is sports bras (insert SEXY) because they don't really make a 40A. I would like to have a jacket that fits around my waist but isn't so tight in the shoulders that I can't shake my finger at someone when I need to emphasize something. I would like shapewear (aka Spanx) that takes less than 20 minutes to wrestle myself into. Is this too much to ask??? I would like to think that Miranda Lambert would be ok with the name of my store, being a former fat chick with a great sense of humor and the ablility to laugh at herself. We should all aspire to be as healthy looking, and actually healthy, as she is now. But until then, can't we at least be comfortable??? I'll let you know how the lawsuit shakes out.
I am on winter break from school. Yeah me! This means I am finding something for myself to do. I have a hard time sitting still. You would think that would lend itself to a high metabolism and a rockin bod, WRONG. Any-who, I am redoing my bedroom. Like a total overhaul. I need some instant gratification in my life. Obviously the workout gig is a long-term investment to see results kind of thing. When in doubt, paint something. I am painting, installing new flooring, painting the dresser, and hanging stuff on the walls. My bedroom is only 85 square feet. I only mention this because I don't want you to think I am one of those freaks on PBS that can redo an entire house in one afternoon.
As with any good undertaking, the first step is getting organized. The pile of clothes at the foot of my bed that I have been working out of for the past 6-8 months does not scream "organized". The reason they are piled up is that my closet is full of cute clothes. Scratch that, cute, skinny, clothes. I have clothes that range from size 5 to size 20. This means that I have ranged from size 5 to size 20. Take a second to think about that. I have dropped and ballooned to those sizes 3 times in my life. And, lucky me, I have the next two weeks to reflect on that. Pffffft (fart noise, thumbs down). So, the past few days have been spent organizing clothes. Getting rid of stuff that I will NEVER wear again. Packing away stuff that doesn't fit. Hanging up stuff that does. Now, if I am being realistic, do I really think that I am ever going to be a size 5 again. Nope. Sure don't. Did I toss any of those size 5 clothes. Nope. Sure didn't. How's that for an altered sense of reality??? I have a lot of clothes. More than I realized. A lot more. There are some select people that are benefitting from this. Many of them shop at Goodwill. If I think something is really cute, I place it in a good home that has a healthy sense of fashion.
This all sounds like I am some kind of fashionista. If you met me personally you would know that I am about the most low maintenance person on the planet. I cut my own hair for crying out loud. I have however been told once or twice that I do have a nice sense of style. I translate this to mean, "Hey, good job camouflaging your fat!!" I had this idea earlier this summer... I would like to open a boutique called Fat Miranda Lambert. I like her style, for the most part. It is a little hippy, meets a little country, with a touch of glamour thrown in for good measure. Plus she has tattoos, I dig that. With her recent weight loss triumphs she would probably fit the end of my closet that I just packed up, the elusive size 5's. I would love to offer clothing that gives plus size gals the same options as the not-so-plus-size gals (kudos to me for not saying skinny bitches (earmuffs)). I would like to have cowboy boots that I can wear with leggings that have some wiggle room around my fat calves. I would like to have tank tops that don't have arm pits open half way down my side. You know, so I can actually just wear a tank top and a bra in the summer. Not two tank tops and a bra. Speaking of bras, I would like one that accommodates the fact that I am big ribbed and small boobed. Right now all I can wear is sports bras (insert SEXY) because they don't really make a 40A. I would like to have a jacket that fits around my waist but isn't so tight in the shoulders that I can't shake my finger at someone when I need to emphasize something. I would like shapewear (aka Spanx) that takes less than 20 minutes to wrestle myself into. Is this too much to ask??? I would like to think that Miranda Lambert would be ok with the name of my store, being a former fat chick with a great sense of humor and the ablility to laugh at herself. We should all aspire to be as healthy looking, and actually healthy, as she is now. But until then, can't we at least be comfortable??? I'll let you know how the lawsuit shakes out.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Look out world... I'm fat and I'm back!!
Hey... Do you ever sit there and wonder to yourself... "What the heck ever happened to Funny Fat Chic?? Did she get all skinny and abandon us??" WRONG. Dead wrong. What happened is I got fat, AGAIN, got embarrassed AGAIN, and THEN abandoned you. So, you can put that little bit of seething distaste that you had for me away because you thought that I was out there looking good.
So, here is where we are at today. Over the past year I have managed to put a good amount of weight back on. I don't think I have put quite all of it on. But I refuse to step on a scale, so that could just be the denial talking. I gained most of it in the early part of the year, so let's say that I have been holding steady for about 6 months. I had some other MAJOR life changes as well. Here is a list... You know 'cause around here at the Final Fifty (or 60... or 85... whatever) we love ourselves a list.
1. I am a part-time photographer. I don't think I quite had that off the ground when I was writing you before. It has become a pretty vital part of my life. To the point that it is now, currently my main source of income. Which leads me to change #2.
2. I quit my day job. I just up and quit my day job. I was a large animal technician at an exclusively horse hospital. I say exclusively, but I have been party to working on alpacas, llamas, camels, cows, deer, elk, kangaroos, zebras, and the list goes on. I know if there are any animal lovers out there you are thinking this sounds like the most awesome job in the world. It's not. And the place I worked had some human dynamics that were less than stellar. Between how beat up my body was getting from getting tossed around by 1,500 lb. animals all day long and how stressed I was getting by the people, and how incredibly low my salary was, it was time for me to go. Where did I go you ask???
3. I went back to school. I am currently going back to college at the ripe old age of 34 to finish my CPA. I have an Ag Business degree (read that as though it means nothing, because it does) which means that I had a good portion of the class requirements filled already. So, here is me trying to be an accountant. But how are living you ask??
4. Not to fear. I am uber frugal and I saved up a bunch of dough before I quit my job. My photography business is doing well. I am a part-time bookkeeper for a local real estate agent. AND, just for fun, I work one day a week at the biggest winery in my little valley. The pay is terrible, but the discount on wine is TOTALLY worth it.
5. I have started sleeping through the night. I know it seems weird that I put this in my list of life changes, but it has actually changed my life. My insomnia has always been an ever-present part of my life and I kinda took it to just be normal. I read a lot of books, operated my daily activities at a sub-par level, and could, on almost a daily basis, be a real bitch (ear muffs). I started sleeping through the night about two weeks after I quit my job. Further proof that that place was eating me alive. Or at the very least making me eat every thing alive in sight.
That pretty much covers the major life changes. So, why return to the blog???
Well, I am currently two weeks into getting back into some kind of workout routine, for starters. Pause for the shock and awe at the fact that I started this project pre-New Year's resolution. I am currently in the phase of where I am realizing how out of shape I am, I am extremely hungry all the time, and since I won't step on a scale I have no proof of this, but I think I have actually gained weight. Time to talk about it before I quit doing it.
Secondly, I don't hate myself. Wait...What???? Yeah, so, here's the thing. I. Don't. Hate. Myself. I don't love my fat. But I don't hate myself. I have always fought this weight/fitness battle driven purely by hatred for myself. Not this time. As it turns out, thick or thin, I am a good person. I am smart. I am funny. I am honest. What's to hate??? Will this make the difference in me having lasting success this time? Who knows. And end of the day, who cares. Know why??? Because... I. Don't. Hate. Myself. Finally, there is a dude. I don't know if he is THE DUDE. But in a lonely attempt to meet someone, I got on the great wide world of Internet dating. Gag. Head hung in shame. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What was I thinking? But, after sifting through a ton of freaks I have met a dude I like. Let's be honest, I like him a lot. I call him Captain America. I won't go into the gushy details as to why, but if I ever mention Captain America on the blog you will know who I am talking about. We have been talking for a few weeks now. He lives about 7 hours away, so, we are working on the details of actually meeting, but it is fun getting to know him. As a result, I am having all kinds of girly thoughts aka insecurities. For instance, will he turn and run when he first lays eyes on me. If things go well, are we gonna, well, I'll just say it, see each other naked? Gawd. Plus, the thought of shopping for a wedding dress mortifies me (talk about cart before the horse, it's great being a girl!). That last one is totally my best friend's fault. She started talking about bridesmaids dresses about 37 seconds after I told her his name.
So, hey, welcome back into my crazy, curly-headed, double chinned head. Let's get healthy, AGAIN!!!
So, here is where we are at today. Over the past year I have managed to put a good amount of weight back on. I don't think I have put quite all of it on. But I refuse to step on a scale, so that could just be the denial talking. I gained most of it in the early part of the year, so let's say that I have been holding steady for about 6 months. I had some other MAJOR life changes as well. Here is a list... You know 'cause around here at the Final Fifty (or 60... or 85... whatever) we love ourselves a list.
1. I am a part-time photographer. I don't think I quite had that off the ground when I was writing you before. It has become a pretty vital part of my life. To the point that it is now, currently my main source of income. Which leads me to change #2.
2. I quit my day job. I just up and quit my day job. I was a large animal technician at an exclusively horse hospital. I say exclusively, but I have been party to working on alpacas, llamas, camels, cows, deer, elk, kangaroos, zebras, and the list goes on. I know if there are any animal lovers out there you are thinking this sounds like the most awesome job in the world. It's not. And the place I worked had some human dynamics that were less than stellar. Between how beat up my body was getting from getting tossed around by 1,500 lb. animals all day long and how stressed I was getting by the people, and how incredibly low my salary was, it was time for me to go. Where did I go you ask???
3. I went back to school. I am currently going back to college at the ripe old age of 34 to finish my CPA. I have an Ag Business degree (read that as though it means nothing, because it does) which means that I had a good portion of the class requirements filled already. So, here is me trying to be an accountant. But how are living you ask??
4. Not to fear. I am uber frugal and I saved up a bunch of dough before I quit my job. My photography business is doing well. I am a part-time bookkeeper for a local real estate agent. AND, just for fun, I work one day a week at the biggest winery in my little valley. The pay is terrible, but the discount on wine is TOTALLY worth it.
5. I have started sleeping through the night. I know it seems weird that I put this in my list of life changes, but it has actually changed my life. My insomnia has always been an ever-present part of my life and I kinda took it to just be normal. I read a lot of books, operated my daily activities at a sub-par level, and could, on almost a daily basis, be a real bitch (ear muffs). I started sleeping through the night about two weeks after I quit my job. Further proof that that place was eating me alive. Or at the very least making me eat every thing alive in sight.
That pretty much covers the major life changes. So, why return to the blog???
Well, I am currently two weeks into getting back into some kind of workout routine, for starters. Pause for the shock and awe at the fact that I started this project pre-New Year's resolution. I am currently in the phase of where I am realizing how out of shape I am, I am extremely hungry all the time, and since I won't step on a scale I have no proof of this, but I think I have actually gained weight. Time to talk about it before I quit doing it.
Secondly, I don't hate myself. Wait...What???? Yeah, so, here's the thing. I. Don't. Hate. Myself. I don't love my fat. But I don't hate myself. I have always fought this weight/fitness battle driven purely by hatred for myself. Not this time. As it turns out, thick or thin, I am a good person. I am smart. I am funny. I am honest. What's to hate??? Will this make the difference in me having lasting success this time? Who knows. And end of the day, who cares. Know why??? Because... I. Don't. Hate. Myself. Finally, there is a dude. I don't know if he is THE DUDE. But in a lonely attempt to meet someone, I got on the great wide world of Internet dating. Gag. Head hung in shame. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What was I thinking? But, after sifting through a ton of freaks I have met a dude I like. Let's be honest, I like him a lot. I call him Captain America. I won't go into the gushy details as to why, but if I ever mention Captain America on the blog you will know who I am talking about. We have been talking for a few weeks now. He lives about 7 hours away, so, we are working on the details of actually meeting, but it is fun getting to know him. As a result, I am having all kinds of girly thoughts aka insecurities. For instance, will he turn and run when he first lays eyes on me. If things go well, are we gonna, well, I'll just say it, see each other naked? Gawd. Plus, the thought of shopping for a wedding dress mortifies me (talk about cart before the horse, it's great being a girl!). That last one is totally my best friend's fault. She started talking about bridesmaids dresses about 37 seconds after I told her his name.
So, hey, welcome back into my crazy, curly-headed, double chinned head. Let's get healthy, AGAIN!!!
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