Mood altering actions...

Want to change your mood?? I'm gonna tell you something, you don't need any mood or mind altering substances to get this done. I know of an action that will change your mood faster than any IV shot could aspire to do. Step on a scale. Yep, that's it, step on a scale. It can make you higher than high if its headed the direction you want or put you in the pit of despair if its headed the other way. The anticipation before stepping on is a bit of a rush all its own, and the after, if it goes your way, is a mix of relief, excitement, and accomplishment. The after, if it doesn't go your way can ruin not only your day, but possibly week, or however long it takes to get that damn thing going your way again. I was lucky enough to have it read in my favor this morning, Happy New Year's to me!!! But who knows what next week will bring. But hey, who doesn't love a good roller coaster ride??

My belly hurts.... I need a pickle.

I made a cake... Pause for the collective gasp at the fat chic making a cake... It was a cake for a wedding reception. It was for close friends and it turned out great thanks to help from another dear sweet friend of mine. I am currently doing a two week stint of just juicing to clear myself of the holiday sodium, fat, sugar, dairy festival that I partook in so heartily. Oh, and the booze, let's not forget the booze. So, baking a cake in the middle of my juice fast meant eating cake in the middle of my juice fast. And, as luck would have it I had a stroke of bad luck this week that, in my mind, required a bit of emotional eating. Pfffft. When you make "wedding" cakes, you cut the tops off... Waste not want not. It started with just a taste, enter lie #1 to myself. It ended with swiping frosting on chunks of cake and stuffing them in my mouth as fast as I could  like I was hiding it from the non-existent crowd in the kitchen.  My friend didn't care, she was having cake top too. I cared, but it didn't stop me. As I was doing dishes I realized that the sugar and white flour were having an argument with the beet/kale juice in my belly. And you would think the nausea would make me never want to eat again, NOPE, I wanted a pickle. I actually uttered the words, "My belly hurts... I need a pickle". You know why, my body was trying to balance the sugar with a whopping dose of salt. The only honorable thing I did that evening was not eat a pickle, which, stand alone would have been a better cheat than the cake.
Moral of the story:
When you eat crap, you crave crap. When you eat healthy you crave healthy. When I started this weight loss journey I gave it a kick start by juicing for 60 days. I'm not suggesting that is for everyone, but it worked for me. As an avid gardener, cooker, and tried every diet trick on the planet chic, the idea of a natural substance, non-pre-packaged, no pills kinda diet appealed to me. Now I'm no vegetarian, granola eating hippy, far from it. Put a steak in front of me, I dare ya. But, as it turns out vegetables are good for you and are critical to any weight loss program. They are filling, packed full of nutrients, and low calorie. Its like God reached down, handed us a basket full of goodies and said "Here stupid, eat these, you'll feel great and as an added bonus, you'll look good". I'll post more on the juicing another day, but the cake episode reminded me that bad food doesn't actually make me feel better, if anything, worse. I'm feeling like myself again post-holiday free-for-all and all I changed was what I put in my body. Go figure. I'm not letting it ruin the rest of my initial juicing and I am forging ahead. So, it started with a little lie to myself, but its ending in me at least recognizing it and rolling on. Don't let a slip up turn your personal weight loss or health kick on its ear. Don't mercilessly beat yourself up about it and throw everything out the window, move on, you'll be glad you did. And, even if I didn't eat one... PICKLES ROCK!!!

In case you need a reason...

There are many talented fat people in this world. In my mind fat does not affect brain function, I'm sure someone can site a study that says otherwise, but bear with me. I would even venture out on a limb and say that it is somewhat like losing a sense. Can't see?? I bet you hear great! Too heavy to run a mile?? I bet you have an amazing sense of self-deprecating humor and are quick on the wit draw!! How's that for logic? It's a self-defense mechanism you employ because no one enjoys a surly fat person, nothing fun to look at or be around. I find that many overweight people are quick witted and seemingly intelligent. We have opted to exercise our brains instead of our bodies. Which is a bit of a lie, when I exercise my body my brain seems to fire a little better, whether I like to admit that or not. It leads into what all fat people's biggest talent is, LYING. Now, if you ask me a direct question I could no sooner tell you a believable lie than I could do a cart wheel (I'm not that coordinated, even when I'm skinny). But if I feel like eating, I can lie to myself all day long, and night too if need be. Here is a handy little list of reasons to eat, you know, in case you need a new one to add to your own personal list of lies... Added bonus, some of them are even seasonal.

• Feeling sad... Wouldn't a bowl of ice cream with all the trimmings pick you up??
• Angry... Want to punch someone in the face?? Put something, anything in your mouth, it will keep you from saying something you might regret later.
• No one to kiss on New Year's when the ball drops... Feel free to make out with that plate of loaded nachos.
• Little lonely at night... Why wouldn't some buttery popcorn make for good company.
• Something bad happen today... Let that macaroni and cheese soothe your soul.
• Bad day at work and its only noon... How 'bout a foot long Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with extra buffalo sauce to burn away your troubles.
• Its a party!! Everyone loves a party!! What's that... the appetizer table? Nothing says party like an appetizer.
• Family getting together?? Can yours cook their asses off?? Mine sure can, not to mention all the emotional eating that goes along with family.
• Been working out regular? Body feeling hungry from all the new exertion? You must need some extra calories, for fuel you know... Seconds? Yes, please.
• Thanksgiving, its a whole holiday dedicated to eating, I wouldn't want to feel sacrilegious by not partaking to my fullest, and I mean fullest.
• Whoops, had a slip up on the diet, I'm sure its totally blown, I might as well go eat what I really want... A Ruben with twice dipped onion rings.
• Summer coming and still not looking bathing suit ready even though there isn't any bodies of water around for hundreds of miles, don't worry, nothing a good burger can't fix.
• Mind racing, don't know what to do with yourself, you just need a little something to keep you occupied, by all means, keep your mouth busy instead of your body.
• Oh man, I haven't eaten all day, I better empty the cupboards before all this stuff goes bad.
• Look at the line on the edge of that cut pie, I'm just gonna straighten that out. Nope, still a little off, I better fix that. Who ate all the pie?

Well, anyways, you get the gist. Fat people's greatest talent is no doubt lying, not to others, but to themselves. It pretty much snowballs once this cycle starts, so I am convinced that step one, is not starting. Whoa man, is that ever hard. I'm working on it, good luck if you are too.

P.S. None of the above reasons are good or legitimate ones to eat, but I bet a few sound familiar and even a little legitimate.

Why do fat pants make me skinny?

Quick thought for today...
Why am I still wearing my fat pants? Mind you they aren't my super fat pants, but they sure as heck don't fit me. Here are some options:
A) These pants are not worn out yet, and since I am so frugal I have to keep wearing them.
B) It was just the holidays, I can't spend money on myself.
C) I love it when people tell me how big my clothes are getting... Even if its the same fat pants for the last two months.
D) I hate shopping. I really hate shopping for pants. I feel like a can of popped biscuits when I try on pants... And, that makes me hungry.
Well, if you picked C or D you would be correct. I still feel skinny in my fat pants vs. the ones that fit and I can't hide in. So, there you have it, in all honesty I'm not all that frugal.

The Eternal Fat Kid

Raise your hand if you are an eternal fat kid... ok, put down the left over Christmas pie and then raise your hand.
Raise your hand if you are getting ready for the big New Year's "I'm gonna lose X pounds this year" and are celebrating by getting in as much of your favorite foods as you can now.
Raise your hand if dieting and the vicious circle of frustration that accompanies it is a way of life for you.
If at any point you raised your hand, this blog is for you. Well, its for me too, to be honest. And, while we are being honest... I wanted to start this because I am at a critical point in my weight loss, the point where I am tired, tired of fighting, tired of full out exercising, tired of counting, tired of juicing, tired of everyone weighing in, just plain tired. But I don't want to quit. This is the second time in my life I have ditched this weight and I don't want to shoot for a third. I have lost 107 pounds since April 20th, gained back 10 over the holidays and I am now ready to kick that final 50. Is it going to be easy, no, the first 107 weren't, why should these be. Its gonna be hard, the last ones always are, as any chronic dieter knows, but I have things I want to do and this 50 is holding me back. So, maybe saying all the things you aren't supposed to say, telling all the dirty little food secrets, and laying out all the nasty, nitty gritty details will make this final 50 go by the wayside a little easier. So, welcome to my final 50, it should be a good ride.