Vacation!!!

I'm getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow. I'm headed to Canada, I'm a real international traveller like that. Don't be surprised if you don't hear much from me this coming week. Also, don't be surprised if I come back and add way too many vowels to all the words in my posts upon my return. Here are some things about vacation that make me lose my hair... Literally and figuratively.

1) I'm going to a dear friend's wedding. This is the wedding I have been worried about having "the" outfit for. I don't have "the" outfit. This may seem ridiculous, and it probably is, that I keep worrying about this. But the people that I am going to visit haven't seen me in awhile, so, I obviously look a little different considering I have dropped another humans worth of weight off my body. These people, some of my people, have been VERY supportive of my weight loss/health quest. For some reason it is important to me that I look my best when I am there. I don't want to let them down and have them think that all there support was for nothing. Although there is no chance on the planet that they would ever feel this way. EVER. Welcome to my endless rant of insecurities. So weird.

2) I am photographing this wedding. It is my first wedding to perform this task. I am not a wedding photographer. I'm not sure how many you have to do to consider yourself one, but I'm pretty sure ZERO isn't the number. Wedding moments only happen once. You can't stop the ceremony and ask them to do it again because you were slow on the trigger. As a result my iron gut is suffering from some intestinal distress. That should make the drive interesting. Again, these are the kindest people you would ever hope to meet and are going to love whatever I capture, which just makes me want to do a good job all the more.

3) I am driving by myself, a recurrent theme in my life. I do this pretty well, but, my driving record as of late has been classified as less than stellar. Thank goodness not all of my mishaps have had to be reported to my insurance. I'm sure they just laugh every time I call. Here's hopin I can stay out of vehicular trouble for the week.

4) The trip is going to be much shorter than I would like. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the friend that I am going to visit. The miles between us aren't fair. She is a gooden to have around. We stay in contact nearly daily, I know our friendship will sustain no matter what the distance or circumstance. But the spoiled brat in me would like to have more than 5 days to see her. I am thankful that I can be free-wheeling enough to jump in the car and get to go see her at all. Maybe I need to lean a little more towards that attitude instead of already feeling sorry for myself for not getting to spend two weeks... or three weeks... or a month... Be grateful for the time I get, I could not have it all.

5) I'll be meeting a lot of new people. Most people don't realize that I am kinda shy. At least with new people. I'm always nervous about what kind of impression I might make. I don't want to embarrass the people that I am associated with. I also don't want to fall short of any reputation (at least if it's good) that may precede me. Smile, Funny Fat Chic, it's gonna be just fine. I'm also bad with names. I'm gonna spend the drive trying to come up with some mnemonic devices to help me with that.

6) I inevitably will forget to pack about 7 things. And, if you saw how I packed you'd find this VERY funny. Part of the reason I hate to fly is it limits my ability to take everything I own with me. This time I am not only packing clothes, but am adding camera gear on top of that, and then in attempt to stay somewhat on track while I'm away, I will have some workout stuff and pre-made juice and hemp shakes. I don't want to gain 5lbs while on my road trip, but I am going to have fun and try not to stress too much about IT. If I can sneak my shakes in for breakfast and hit my juice where I can, squeeze in some workouts without tying up too much time I should be ok, and hopefully call it a success on the health front. But, I am going to Canada and there WILL be drinking. I WILL be participating, come hell or high water... As it turns out they have actually had the high water portion of that statement as of late.

There it is, my neurotic ramblings over what will be an amazing trip no matter how it shakes out. Have a great week and a wonderful 4th of July next week!! I'll be back.... (that's my best Arnold impression, how'd you like it????)

Dressing rooms, the bain of my existence.

Here is a weekend recap. It all started Friday night. It actually all started when my Mom genetically handed me down a crappy metabolism, but I digress. I had to work an extra four hours Friday night, emergencies happen where I work and it can't be avoided sometimes, and by sometimes I mean ALL the time. It basically shot my plans for getting my horse rode, a workout in, and editing the horse show I am working on right now. I reduced it down to eating some turkey jerky on my way out the door and getting in my workout before eating some popcorn and going to bed. I had to work on Saturday, so staying up until the wee hours of the morning editing wasn't an option. Went and worked on Saturday, nothing exciting there. My plan for the evening after working was to go buy these ridiculously expensive jeans that I swore I would NEVER pay that much for a pair of jeans so that I would have something respectable to wear to the wedding next weekend, then ride my pony, and workout. No big deal, sounds innocent enough. So, I go to the store where the jeans currently resided, and as it happens, still reside (spoiler alert: I didn't buy them). I had been stewing about these jeans for two weeks. That's how I shop. I don't try stuff on, I don't buy it when I first see it, I try and see if I can live without it, then I go back later and they don't have my size anymore, and I don't have to buy it, wasn't meant to be, see, not complicated at all. So, I grabbed 5 pairs of jeans including "the" pair. I tried them on, One pair didn't fit, the rest did. But, mind you, one pair not fitting is enough to knock the wind outta a Funny Fat Chick's sails. That's it, that's all it takes. I couldn't say that "the" pair made my hiney look so fabulous that I was willing to pay $89 for them. None of the others blew my skirt up either. That may be partially because I was in a dressing room. Which basically amounts to psychological warfare for an eternal fat kid. I have spent my life avoiding these places at ALL costs. For starters, you are changing in out of clothes you don't own in public. Weird. Secondly, there is a good chance that you are going to put something on that doesn't fit, and one way or the other, that is upsetting. Lastly, if you are shopping alone there is no reassuring friend to tell you that you don't look like the beached whale that you see in the mirror. I spent enough time trying stuff on that I had to pee, real bad. I found the bathroom and tried to regroup. I thought, I will look one. more. time. I hit the clearance rack where I found the pair I ended up buying. Whether they were a better cut for me, the right shade of blue, or who knows what, I liked this pair of jeans, didn't love, but liked them enough to buy them and didn't feel completely ripped off. They were still more money than I am usually willing to spend on britches, but they didn't break the bank. I got the rest of my shopping done and headed home. Where, I crashed. Crashed hard. I didn't get any of the other things done that I wanted to, and I ate my way through the evening. Nothing terrible for me because I just don't keep that stuff in the house, but if it had been there, I'm sure it wouldn't have stood a chance. One that emotional trigger is tripped there is no putting that bullet back in the gun. I am better now. Back to my normal self. But it is continually disappointing that there are still things out there that can push me over that edge. Between the exhaustion, the jeans fiasco, and my teetering self-confidence, this wasn't my best weekend. But the good news is that I can pick myself up and move on from it, something I never used to do. Silver linings, they are out there.

This HAD to be shared...

This is a link to a post by a fellow blogger. For any of you that have been trying to eat clean, this is a MUST read. It hits all the anxiety, pitfalls, and distress that one encounters on their quest for "environmentally friendly" nutrition.

http://www.nwedible.com/2012/08/tragedy-healthy-eater.html

Marco... Polo

What's that, Funny Fat Chic, have you been absent becasue you have been at the bottom of a pool??? No, not quite. For starters, I can't swim. And, not for lack of trying either. I sink, bottom line. I have been MIA this past week due to the fact that it is beginning to be a CRAZY BUSY SUMMER!!! I apologize for my neglect of this here blog. Here are some observations I have had over the past week that should fill you in on my state of mind/being/and general thought processes.

1) My arms no longer hit my sides when I walk. this could be due to one of two reasons. A) I am finally thin enough that this no longer happens... or B) My football player stature has me walking around looking like "The Rock". You be the judge. Now, if only I could get my thigh to stop touching. They seem to be attached at the hip... Get it?

2) Extreme workout videos don't work for me during the summer months. I got a lot goin on and 85+ minutes a day is a little too much. I know that Pinterest would tell there is someone busier than me out there exercising and I should feel all kinds of shame for not doing TapOut XT2 right now, but you know what, NO, I will not feel bad about this. I bought a book full of exercises and it has workout programs in the back. They are mainly strength training and focus a lot on core stuff. The workouts take about 40+ minutes. I love it. I plug in my iPod and get it done. I feel good, it fits my schedule, and I needed a break from being bossed around. Will I go back to TapOut?? Absolutely, but probably not until this Fall. So there.

3) I have a wedding to go to. I can't find a thing to wear. I am in between sizes. I mean, I can get the 9's on and zipped and some people would wear them... They are too tight for me to make an appearance in them by my standards. The 10/11's look frumpy on me. So now I am just frumpy and grumpy. Bad combination.

4) I LOVE summer. It's riding, hiking, road tripping season and I LOVE it.

5) I may be in a perpetual state of sorta fat. I'm no longer full fledged fat, but I am not thin/skinny/ripped yet either and progress is sloooooow. Like I mean sloooooow. Especially slow for an impatient person (raised hand... that's me!!). So, here I am in between sizes, sorta fat. Sigh.

6) I sustained myself for three days last week on nothing but turkey jerky, vegetable juice, and peanut butter. This was not intentional, but it sure happened. Weird.

7) I had someone point out to me the other day that everyone needs a leg up sometimes. It was in reference to some life decisions that I am making right now, and certain circumstances have caused me to scale back a little more than I wanted, thus making me irritated, upset, etc. If I would be willing to accept help I could up my timeline, if I am stubborn and proceed on my own accord things will go more slowly. Heavy stuff man. Weighs on my mind. Weighs on my psyche. Make me put my hand to my mouth with popcorn in it. Oh, my emotional comfort food, it continually stands the test of time. Still undecided...

So, there you have it, the good, the bad, and the ugly from the bottom of the pool.

New emotion.... VANITY

I've been feeling a little vain lately. Don't worry, I'm not strutting around acting like my you know what doesn't stink or anything. I have just been noticing some things and taking action on them that I never would have before. For example... I have a renegade nose hair in my left nostril. I was never aware of its existence before and now I keep tweezers in the car to yank that sucker out every time it crops up. Another example is that I worry about how my clothes fit. Now, I don't want you to think I've jumped off the deep end, I still wear fat pants to work, thrifty beats vanity any day of the week and twice on Sundays. But I think about it when I leave the house for any other reason. Is this shirt too tight? Do these pants make me look shorter? Do these sleeves make me look like a football player? You know, stuff like that. I'm also uncomfortable in my hair, that's not really new, but I do feel like I am more at odds with it these days. Can't we all just get along? I think gone are the day's of the girl that had "go to town hoodies", hardly ever wore make-up, had never met nail polish or an eyelash curler, and never bothered to check a mirror before exiting the house. I'm WAY to vain now.