Is there anything worse than cleaning your house during the summer? I HATE it! I live like a tornado in the summer, mostly using my house to sleep in and prepare the occassional meal. The weather is gorgeous, I LOVE the summer heat, and I just don't want to be in my house. But as most tornadoes do, I leave a big mess in my wake. In attempt to avoid my physical housework, I thought I would take a minute and do a little of my housekeeping here.
First things first, I was supposed to give you guys some numbers this week. If you go back to the last set of numbers I gave you, you will find what you need. Nothing has changed measurement wise. I have maintained my weight, and my inches. Now, before you do a collective sigh and feel sorry for me, don't. I had a feeling that I was hitting a rut. I have felt a little bit rutt-ish in my workouts and my eating. And if we are being honest, and I like to think that we are here at The Final Fifty, I have been living like weekends are calorie free excursions. There have been BBQ's, birthday parties (apparently a lot of people get knocked up 9 months before summertime), and there has been some alcohol consumption. I made myself a deal though, I am not going to torture my psyche all summer long by avoiding all the above situations and not partaking in them to some degree. I do however feel fitter than my last round of measurements. Absolutely fitter. I can run farther (and faster... average of 9.5 minute miles now instead of 11 minutes), I can lift with more ease and even lift more (new dumbbells are on my shopping list). Even though the numbers haven't really changed, I feel like I have changed. I also feel like I am walking around feeling a little more confident (insert:about my body) than usual. Whether that new feeling is justified or not, who knows, but I'm gonna hang on to it for as long as I can.
I have had a crazy couple of days... Three days to be exact, so I guess I should call it a few. I went and saw one of my favorite bands on Thursday night. I went with some friends outside of my normal crew. We had a fabulous time and I wondered to myself why we don't all do stuff together more often. I'm adding these people to my social to-do list. Two very interesting things happened that evening. First, I had a lady get in my face and scream at me because of my hair. She was not a very nice person to say the least. I am not the kind of person that people (especially random strangers) yells at. I was so shocked I think I stood there for a good minute before I picked up my dropped jaw and managed a retort. She claimed that she couldn't see the concert because of my big (expletive) hair. I finally told her that I didn't know how to respond to that as my hair has its own fan base and people usually like it better than they like me. She finally backed off after I cracked a few more jokes at her that brought the ridiculousness of her outburst to light. I partied on, she stewed about it, nobody got scratched, no hair got pulled, no punches where thrown. We after partied at a local bar. This is where interesting thing number two happened. I lost a limbo contest (get low, get low) to a very cute, very young guy with dark curly hair. When the bar shut down, I let loose a little bit and made out with him in the parking lot. Yep, I acted for a blissful minute like I was 10 years younger (and 10 years hotter). When I woke up Friday morning after 2 whole hours of sleep with two hickeys on my neck, I hung my head in shame. But then I thought, what did I actually do wrong. Answer is... NOTHING. I didn't let anything get to an undignified state, I had FUN, and there was no harm, no foul. So, yep, or the first time in about 20 years I have the neck of a naughty teenager. So sue me. {Disclaimer: for those of you reading this, you may have noticed I didn't mention any names. If you are able to connect the dots, keep that dirty little secret to yourself and don't spoil my fun :) please.}
After pulling myself moderately together, I had to take Gram to chemo by 8:30am and then after that I headed out to second shoot a wedding for my best friend. After gram's chemo I went on a run and sweated out all my shame and a good portion of my whiskey. We shot a beautiful wedding and I was home again in the wee hours of the morning instead the late hours of the evening. Then yesterday, I had a wedding of my own to shoot. Not mine, that kinda sounded like it was my wedding. It was a wedding of my own clients I should say. It was 106 degrees here yesterday. I actually sweated all the way through my clothes. Twice. I looked like someone turned a hose on me. Over the course of the past two days I have only peed once. That is how much I have sweated. Today, I am laying low to say the least. I will say one thing about the little whirlwind that I have been on. I am so thankful that I have made the effort to get into shape and have fueled myself with healthy food. I had a foundation to work off of that kept me from being completely miserable over the past few days. My body could take the torture because I have tortured it much worse than that for a lot longer.
I want to talk for a second about my best friend. Some of this is gonna sound mushy. Some of it is gonna sound philosophical. I just told you a very entertaining and embarrassing story about myself, so now you get to bare with me for a minute. Have you ever known an incredibly talented person that had no idea of the reach of their abilities? My best friend is a photographer, like me, but that is by and far not all that she is. She is a wife, a daughter, and mother (most importantly), a stall cleaner, a business manager, and last but not least a friend. She asked me to second shoot this wedding with her. I first thought that it was just to be a second shooter, catch the things that she couldn't be two places at the same time for. Which I happily did. I am a photographer after all, I like to pick up my camera. But I was really there to support her. Support her as a friend. Here is the thing about taking pictures. It is true for me whether I am shooting a landscape, an adorable family, or two people in love. There is a piece of me in every photograph. I am not just recording a moment in time. I want you to see what I see and how I see it. I want you to not only look through my lens, I want you to look through my eyes, and I want you to use the filter of my soul to do it. My best friend leaves a little more of herself in every picture than most do. She has a special way of bringing beauty to light and shedding light on beauty. This wedding was for her husband's (another one of my BEST friends) baby sister. This takes up the intensity by a 1,000%. You not only know and love these people, but they are family. Your want-to to make these images be the best ones that you have ever taken is so strong that it can almost paralyze you. It will make you second guess your judgement all day long. It will make you convinced that you didn't get a shot off long before you bother to go home and even look at a single image. This was my best friend's gift to the bride and groom. And while some might think, oh that's nice, they got a free photographer, I know what she really gave them. She was giving them the type of images to remember their day by that only she could give them. She was the only person on the planet that could record the union of their love because she has watched it develop and grow from the very beginning. She is going to give them images that show how much she completely adores this couple with every click of her shutter. They are going to see themselves through the eye of one of the people that loves them most. She was the only person for that job. So, instead of sitting comfortably enjoying a cold beverage and catching up with her family, she sweated, she walked a thousand miles in the wrong shoes, she changed clothes in her car, she watched her kids be a part of a wedding through her lens instead through her eyes (there is a difference), she ate her dinner in under a minute, she did all the cat herding that comes with photographing a wedding party, she stressed about light (or lack there of), she fended off the event coordinator, and at the end of the day, she nailed it. She gave them a gift that only she could give. Because THAT is how amazing she is.
I don't know if I should hope that you guys had the same kind of weekend I did or not. I do hope that you had fun. I sure did. Stay cool. Drink your water.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
I've Noticed A Few Things
Hey... I'm gonna give you another list. I like lists. They keep me from rambling. They are organized. Or at least they pretend to be. You can talk about them later with ease... "Hey did you see #8 of The Final Fifty list? That girl is crazy!" They are a good way to talk about several different things without having to seamlessly transition in between. It's cheating for writers. Rambling over, list beginning in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
#1 I noticed as I was walking today (it wasn't a running day) that my elbows no longer hit my fat sides when I walk. They not only don't hit, but they don't even brush up against. Is it possible that I am getting a waist? You know, that space between arms and midsections in silhouettes of women. What the heck do I do with one of those? Wear a belt?? No way. But it's nice to have my elbows freed up.
#2 I realized today that I have not had any back pain in quite some time! Further proof that my back pain is entirely preventable by taking care of myself. No drugs, no adjustments, no other therapies. Just good old exercise and decent nutrition. Go figure.
#3 I am two days behind on my P90X3. I have a semi-good reason for this. Last Friday before I headed up to my best friend's for my honorary niece's birthday I was riding my two year old colt that I am just starting. He stumbled and then really tripped and then did an ass-over-tea-kettle somersault and then landed on his side on my leg. I have been a little bruised up and I seemed to hurt my shoulder/collarbone. All injuries are a long ways from my heart and I am going to be just fine. But, I took an extra couple days to try and let things settle back where they should go. I plan on catching up the two workouts this weekend. It's a weigh-in day on Sunday or Monday. Eeeek. So look for some numbers coming your way. In the mean time, enjoy my awesome bruises!! P.S. It looks a lot worse than it feels.
#4 I have been thinking about the word single a lot lately. I get saddled with that term quite often. Its most basic meaning is alone. And sometimes I feel alone. I have chosen relatively solitary jobs. I spend most of my evenings alone with my dogs (but they are awesome dogs). I work out alone. I am a social creature normally, but apparently I appreciate solitude. Most of the time I am the social event planner in my circle of friends. A role I love to take on! Lately when I have been on social outings I am there, but I feel a little withdrawn. I think that cancer in your life does that to you. But, really, if you think about it, any crisis in life can do that to you. Money problems? First thing you do is withdraw yourself and tell yourself you can't do anything because you don't have any money. Trouble on the home front? Time to retreat and spend more time at home and less time around other people. Put on some weight? Time to hideout and make sure no one gets the opportunity to see it until you get it off. The list goes on. Is this a survival instinct? Is this our way of protecting ourselves and our feelings? Is it an instinct that we should fight? I think so. I am going to work harder at being more present. I am not going to skip fun things because I don't deserve it or because there is cancer actively happening in my family. Why does one thing have to do with another? I have a girlfriend that invited me to her son's t-ball games and brought her boys over to see me the other night. Just to visit. She didn't need anything from me. In fact she was bringing me stuff for Gram to try for her nausea. She has no idea how bad I needed that visit. How bad I needed those t-ball games. She has seen cancer up close and personal. She knows how it can take over your life. Maybe she did know how bad I needed to just sit in the shade and chit chat. I am grateful to her for that. I think it brought me back to reality a little bit and convinced me to quit being such a hermit. I had another girlfriend come on a run with me. I almost killed her from heat stroke. But it was so very nice to have a partner to run with. I also visited my bestie last weekend. We shopped, we threw a party, we hiked. Seeing her and her family always helps. ALWAYS.
#5 Shaun T said something interesting today on his podcast. He said that the body you have is the one you deserve. He was speaking in the context that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. He's right. I deserve everything that I think is right and everything that I think is wrong with my body. I have sweated, fought, and battled for the muscles and I have eaten my way to the fat. I have eared every ounce of both. I need to be more accepting of that so that I stay happy in my workouts and don't view them as a means to an end. There is no end to fitness, just continual progress.
#6 I don't think I like chia seeds. I have been trying to like them because they are a GREAT source of well-rounded plant protein. But, they freak me out. They start as seeds, and then somehow turn into weird little gel coated things in my mouth. They also like to reside between my teeth. They have literally no flavor, so all I have to go on is the texture. And, I don't like the texture.
#7 Tomorrow marks the start of concert season for me. Willie Nelson. Don't be a jealous hater. I'm taking Mom and Gram. It is going to be nice to take Gram to something besides chemo or grocery shopping. She will wave at Willie like he is singing to her. I know this because she does it at every concert I've ever taken her to. This time though, instead of being embarrassed, I am going to wave with her because he will be singing to her.
#8 It is going to top a hundred next week. I am secretly excited about this. I LOVE the heat.
#9 My new favorite dessert is a bowl of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a drizzle of raw honey and a splash of almond milk. Sweet (the good kind), full of fiber, and oh-so-tasty! Give it a try. I know berries can be a little pricey but no more spendy than a a run to the store for a tub of ice cream can be. Speaking of, on my way home from Oregon over the weekend I stopped and had a mini Blizzard at Dairy Queen. I don't even feel bad about it. Jurassic smash-up was the flavor if you were curious.
#10 Refer to #8. It is getting hot out there. All the more reason to drink your water. Lots of it. Put some lemon in it. Put some mint in it. Put some cucumber in it. Whatever blows your skirt up besides the a/c vent.
#1 I noticed as I was walking today (it wasn't a running day) that my elbows no longer hit my fat sides when I walk. They not only don't hit, but they don't even brush up against. Is it possible that I am getting a waist? You know, that space between arms and midsections in silhouettes of women. What the heck do I do with one of those? Wear a belt?? No way. But it's nice to have my elbows freed up.
#2 I realized today that I have not had any back pain in quite some time! Further proof that my back pain is entirely preventable by taking care of myself. No drugs, no adjustments, no other therapies. Just good old exercise and decent nutrition. Go figure.
#3 I am two days behind on my P90X3. I have a semi-good reason for this. Last Friday before I headed up to my best friend's for my honorary niece's birthday I was riding my two year old colt that I am just starting. He stumbled and then really tripped and then did an ass-over-tea-kettle somersault and then landed on his side on my leg. I have been a little bruised up and I seemed to hurt my shoulder/collarbone. All injuries are a long ways from my heart and I am going to be just fine. But, I took an extra couple days to try and let things settle back where they should go. I plan on catching up the two workouts this weekend. It's a weigh-in day on Sunday or Monday. Eeeek. So look for some numbers coming your way. In the mean time, enjoy my awesome bruises!! P.S. It looks a lot worse than it feels.
#5 Shaun T said something interesting today on his podcast. He said that the body you have is the one you deserve. He was speaking in the context that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. He's right. I deserve everything that I think is right and everything that I think is wrong with my body. I have sweated, fought, and battled for the muscles and I have eaten my way to the fat. I have eared every ounce of both. I need to be more accepting of that so that I stay happy in my workouts and don't view them as a means to an end. There is no end to fitness, just continual progress.
#6 I don't think I like chia seeds. I have been trying to like them because they are a GREAT source of well-rounded plant protein. But, they freak me out. They start as seeds, and then somehow turn into weird little gel coated things in my mouth. They also like to reside between my teeth. They have literally no flavor, so all I have to go on is the texture. And, I don't like the texture.
#7 Tomorrow marks the start of concert season for me. Willie Nelson. Don't be a jealous hater. I'm taking Mom and Gram. It is going to be nice to take Gram to something besides chemo or grocery shopping. She will wave at Willie like he is singing to her. I know this because she does it at every concert I've ever taken her to. This time though, instead of being embarrassed, I am going to wave with her because he will be singing to her.
#8 It is going to top a hundred next week. I am secretly excited about this. I LOVE the heat.
#9 My new favorite dessert is a bowl of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a drizzle of raw honey and a splash of almond milk. Sweet (the good kind), full of fiber, and oh-so-tasty! Give it a try. I know berries can be a little pricey but no more spendy than a a run to the store for a tub of ice cream can be. Speaking of, on my way home from Oregon over the weekend I stopped and had a mini Blizzard at Dairy Queen. I don't even feel bad about it. Jurassic smash-up was the flavor if you were curious.
#10 Refer to #8. It is getting hot out there. All the more reason to drink your water. Lots of it. Put some lemon in it. Put some mint in it. Put some cucumber in it. Whatever blows your skirt up besides the a/c vent.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Feeling Like A Little List
Hey Gang! We haven't had a good list in awhile...
1) I started wearing men's deodorant. I am a sweater. Not a woolen, cozy clothing item that you wear in the winter. A person that perspires, profusely. Like I just started thinking about sweating and now I am sweating. I also get cold easily, so it is a weird dichotomy in my life. None-the-less, there are no women's deodorants that can keep up with my sweating in the summer. Since it went from Spring to Summer basically overnight here in Southern Idaho, here I am sweaty and stinky. Enter Old Spice Sport edition. I feel better about raising my arm already. Oh wait, is that the Sure commercial?
2) I don't want, or like, to use this blog as a political forum, so I will keep this list item short and sweet. With Gram's cancer and chemo and all the fun stuff that goes with it, I am getting an up close and personal taste of all the things that are eff-ed up with our health care system. There are a lot. That is all.
3) My belly doesn't hit the back of my saddle horn when I ride anymore. Bonus. Mind you, I still have plenty of belly to go around, but I'm no longer donning a round bruise in my midsection.
4) In reference to #3... I have been riding more! I missed it. I like my ponies that I have right now and even though I am just getting them legged up (or started) and not really training for any big event, it feels good to be getting something done with them besides just throwing hay at them and wishing them the best.
5) I never feel so accomplished as I do after a run. I am getting more addicted to the running. I always feel like I really did something and really tried hard at doing something after I get back from a run. Whether that is shedding pounds off of me or not, it has to be a good thing for my health and mental well-being. I think I'll keep after it. I'm even thinking about signing up for a race. Right now my focus is to improve my minutes/mile. New goal... after I get under 200# I want to train for a 10k. If you hear me start saying the words half-marathon or marathon, it might be time for an intervention.
6) I am sooooooo happy it is summer. Some people hate the heat, I LOVE it. Like really, really love it. I have to wear sweatshirts in A/C. I once had a good friend tell me that bacon always looks/smells better in the frying pan than it does in the refrigerator. Needless to say, I am frying my bacon (insert getting a tan). Looks better, yes, smells better, well, refer to #1 of the list.
7) Is there any worse feeling in the world than feeling unwelcome somewhere? I had someone make me feel that way last week and I hated it. It made me a little sad, then it made me a little mad. I would like all of you to pinky swear that if I EVER make you feel that way please not only tell me, but feel free to give my behind a swift kick!!
8) Speaking of my behind, I feel like it might be a couple inches higher off the ground these days. Did I get taller? Are you wondering if I started wearing wedge heels everywhere I go?? No to all of the above. I think that the working out is paying off a little and my saggy/flabby arse is maybe a little less saggy and a little less flabby.
10) This post would not be complete without a mention of Slack. I got a new puppy. He was supposed to be a birthday present for my mom, but he has clearly chosen me as his person. He loves her too, but he loves me more. You know, because a puppy's love is most definitely a competition. He is little, and ferocious, and cuddly, and spotted, and smart, and has just enough German in him to be obstinate. I am putting extra effort in to make sure that Wiener and Camo still feel special. They are a little bowed up that Slack gets to go to work with me, but how else will I get him potty trained?? Plus, they are wiener dogs, no matter what I do they are gonna be bowed up about it.
11) Thanks for staying tuned-in! I know the personal posts are fewer and farther in between these days, but I promise, when I have something to say you guys will hear it. Keep drinking your water, keep moving your feet, and enjoy the heck out of this summer heat. (I know I just rhymed a little right there, don't hold it against me).
1) I started wearing men's deodorant. I am a sweater. Not a woolen, cozy clothing item that you wear in the winter. A person that perspires, profusely. Like I just started thinking about sweating and now I am sweating. I also get cold easily, so it is a weird dichotomy in my life. None-the-less, there are no women's deodorants that can keep up with my sweating in the summer. Since it went from Spring to Summer basically overnight here in Southern Idaho, here I am sweaty and stinky. Enter Old Spice Sport edition. I feel better about raising my arm already. Oh wait, is that the Sure commercial?
2) I don't want, or like, to use this blog as a political forum, so I will keep this list item short and sweet. With Gram's cancer and chemo and all the fun stuff that goes with it, I am getting an up close and personal taste of all the things that are eff-ed up with our health care system. There are a lot. That is all.
3) My belly doesn't hit the back of my saddle horn when I ride anymore. Bonus. Mind you, I still have plenty of belly to go around, but I'm no longer donning a round bruise in my midsection.
4) In reference to #3... I have been riding more! I missed it. I like my ponies that I have right now and even though I am just getting them legged up (or started) and not really training for any big event, it feels good to be getting something done with them besides just throwing hay at them and wishing them the best.
5) I never feel so accomplished as I do after a run. I am getting more addicted to the running. I always feel like I really did something and really tried hard at doing something after I get back from a run. Whether that is shedding pounds off of me or not, it has to be a good thing for my health and mental well-being. I think I'll keep after it. I'm even thinking about signing up for a race. Right now my focus is to improve my minutes/mile. New goal... after I get under 200# I want to train for a 10k. If you hear me start saying the words half-marathon or marathon, it might be time for an intervention.
6) I am sooooooo happy it is summer. Some people hate the heat, I LOVE it. Like really, really love it. I have to wear sweatshirts in A/C. I once had a good friend tell me that bacon always looks/smells better in the frying pan than it does in the refrigerator. Needless to say, I am frying my bacon (insert getting a tan). Looks better, yes, smells better, well, refer to #1 of the list.
7) Is there any worse feeling in the world than feeling unwelcome somewhere? I had someone make me feel that way last week and I hated it. It made me a little sad, then it made me a little mad. I would like all of you to pinky swear that if I EVER make you feel that way please not only tell me, but feel free to give my behind a swift kick!!
8) Speaking of my behind, I feel like it might be a couple inches higher off the ground these days. Did I get taller? Are you wondering if I started wearing wedge heels everywhere I go?? No to all of the above. I think that the working out is paying off a little and my saggy/flabby arse is maybe a little less saggy and a little less flabby.
10) This post would not be complete without a mention of Slack. I got a new puppy. He was supposed to be a birthday present for my mom, but he has clearly chosen me as his person. He loves her too, but he loves me more. You know, because a puppy's love is most definitely a competition. He is little, and ferocious, and cuddly, and spotted, and smart, and has just enough German in him to be obstinate. I am putting extra effort in to make sure that Wiener and Camo still feel special. They are a little bowed up that Slack gets to go to work with me, but how else will I get him potty trained?? Plus, they are wiener dogs, no matter what I do they are gonna be bowed up about it.
11) Thanks for staying tuned-in! I know the personal posts are fewer and farther in between these days, but I promise, when I have something to say you guys will hear it. Keep drinking your water, keep moving your feet, and enjoy the heck out of this summer heat. (I know I just rhymed a little right there, don't hold it against me).
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