The View

Nope, I'm not about to talk about that TV show. I would never dare to enter into that political of a diatribe on this lighthearted, truth-slinging, funny platform. Nope. No way, no how.

I would like to talk about how I actually see a few things. How the world, ok my world, looks like right now.

For instance... I am starting to see my body take a shape other than round. I am getting a tiny bit of definition in my tree trunk legs. My calves are starting to look like muscles, not just extensions of my thighs. I am beginning to see a waist in between my fat rolls. My arms are getting a little sculpted. They probably look the best of anything on me, besides my perfectly manicured toes... Wait, I mean my perfectly pedicured toes. But in all reality, my arms probably had the least amount of work to do to become passable. There is still some wiggle and jiggle in the bottom of them, but it is rapidly being replaced by muscle. Here is one thing that I don't get about what I see. What kind of cosmic joke is it that stretch marks are on the front of our bodies instead of the back where we can't see them??? Why do I have to look at those things on my stomach instead of on my back where I would rarely, if ever, catch a glimpse of them??? That is a piss poor design flaw in the human body if you ask me.

I no longer want to cry when I see a picture of myself these days. I fit into some cuter clothes now that actually have some shape to them and don't just make me look like a fat face stuck on a colorless blob, how I've always felt up to now. Who knows, maybe I'll even change my profile picture. I don't feel like I dwarf the person standing next to me in pictures. Mind you, I'm not volunteering to get in front of any cameras, I'm just not actively hiding from them.

This is my view when I workout these days...

I like both of these views for different reasons. I still have a love/hate relationship with the running. These days I am leaning a little more towards love than hate. So, there's that. What I can say for the running is that I feel empowered, clear headed, and all around better when I get done with a run. I am always surprised at my distance or the time that I get it done in. Always. I still don't believe I can do it. I hope I can hold onto this awe and wonder for a little while longer. Signing up for some races and finding the MapMyRun app for my phone has made things a little more interesting and provided some new motivation. So, again, there's that. The weight lifting is still my favorite. I can't help it. I feel strong, really strong when I get done with it. I know that it is the thing that is shaping my body on the outside. The running might be changing me on the inside (which should count for more), but the weights are what the rest of the world is seeing. I was excited to find out the other day that The Beast and Autumn from 21 Day Fix Extreme are getting together and releasing a workout program in December (Beach Body). I'll be first in line for that one!! It will be my reward for completing the 10k. 

The last thing that I see right now is an amazing fall. The view from my weekly hike is clear, glowing with warm fall light, and starting to get an edge of crisp on it. I love this time of year. Even if it means the rise of pumpkin spiced everything and arm loads of comfort food that I have to resist. 

What does your view look like these days???? 

Procrastination

In an effort for my brain to avoid typing up my last two term papers that are due tomorrow night, all it will think about is talking points that I have been thinking of for a Final Fifty blog post. So, here I am putting pen to paper (translate fingers to keys) in a feeble attempt to get my brain to go back to thinking about strategic management and its application to my chosen company of Asics tennis shoes. And then for fun after that I am going to write a paper on Volkswagen and the ethical decisions that it made that led up to the emissions scandal and how that is going to affect its position in the marketplace. How bad do you wish you were me right now???

So, we are gonna do this down and dirty style, a list. It has been awhile since we had a list. Yep, a list it is.

1) After I posted that picture of Slack (my puppy) tormenting and mocking me (he lays on his back when I do crunches and rolls over kicks his legs out behind him when I plank) while doing abs yesterday I came to a shocking realization... The thinner my face gets the bigger my teeth are. I have an overbite that I have always been pretty self-conscious about, and apparently I am going to need to gain my weight back in order avoid my mouth being inordinately out of proportion to the rest of my face. Trade-offs suck.

2) I can officially wear regular bras again. So much for my gaining the weight back theory in #1. I have a rather large rib cage that is blessed with a rather small bust. Finding bras to accommodate that scenario when I am overweight is basically impossible. If I find one to fit my cup size, then it cuts into my back horribly and creates no less than two more fat rolls than what actually exist and it won't remain in place. I can now comfortably fit in my old Victoria Secret 36B (loooooooow end of B) bras and they are comfortable, flattering, and don't budge. I always thought I was shaped weird, turns out I was just fat and they don't make pretty, fancy, nice bras for fat chics. They make ugly old sports bras and grandma bras (sorry to all the grandmas out there) that are most likely some form of fat shaming scheme from the lingerie industry. Anyways, lucky me, I can wear real bras again.

3) Fast food. I bet you all think I don't eat fast food anymore. How could I and continue to lose weight??? WRONG. I eat it at least twice a week, sometimes more. I have just found healthy options at the fast food places, I control my portions, and I look for places that make their food from REAL food, not food-like substances. Here are some examples...

• Pita Pit. By far my favorite. You get some warmed up lean protein, all the veggies you want, and it is wrapped up in a convenient whole wheat package. The calories are posted right on their menu if you are counting that sort of thing. My favorite is the Chicken Salvaki (sp??). 
• Subway. Eat Fresh. Ignore the Jared scandal. Again, lean protein and as many veggies as you want. Downside, bread. I try to limit my Subway experience to once a week. I don't eat bread in any other venue in my life. I'm not saying bread is the anti-Christ, but I do know that I do better the less bread I eat. I do, however, eat Baked Lays. I love them. BBQ, Cheddar, or Sour Cream, I love them all. Bonus, they have the best iced tea on the planet. My usual right now is a steak with no cheese (their cheese doesn't look very real), flatbread, spinach, onions, tomatoes, olives, jalapenoes, yellow peppers, mayo, and sriracha.
• And finally, Jimmy Johns. The Un-wich is the singular greatest creation on the planet. Downside, you don't get a ton of veggie choices at this location. I usually order a #16 (turkey, tomato, bacon) as an Un-wich with double turkey. If I could somehow get Subway to serve Un-wiches, I would be in heaven. Here's another shocker... I eat real mayo at these location. Why? A) I refuse to give up mayo, I just limit my consumption of it. B) I refuse to eat lite mayo. Its gross and who the heck knows what they replace the real ingredients with to make it lite. I'd rather have a little of the good stuff than a ton of the nasty stuff. 

4) I am down 13 pounds since I last wrote you guys. That sounds like a lot. This is a good news/bad news deal. Here is why. I swore that I was not going to be slave to the scale. And, honestly I am not. I am much more excited about real bras than I am about the 13 pounds. But, and there is always a but, I did a dance around my bathroom this morning when I saw how much the scale had budged. Then I decided that I didn't believe it and weighed myself again. I guess the moral to this one is that the square piece of electronics in my bathroom still holds a fair amount of psychological power over me. I would like to think it is just a tool in this process, but it still holds the power to make or break my day.

5) I have a problem. A BIG problem. I can't stop buying running clothes. Compression leggings and thin quarter zip shirts with thumb holes are taking over my wardrobe. Old Navy is getting ready to issue me stock instead of shipping me clothes.

6) I am going to be really sad when my Body Beast program is over. I need to find another weight lifting program that I love as much to rotate with it. I feel like I have hit this sweet spot in my workout regime where I have the perfect mix of cardio and weights and it is making me really shed some fat (see#4). I don't want to lose that rhythm. Plus, I really like lifting weights. I like it, I like it a lot.

7) Around my homestead it is officially soup season. Fall=Soup. Fall also = hoodies, flannel pj's, and hibernation level hunger. All I wanna do is EAT. I have to be extra careful this time of year because there are naughty treats and comfort food running around everywhere. Thank goodness I'm not a coffee drinker otherwise pumpkin spice lattes might be taking over my world. I can't help it, I just love all things Fall. Added bonus, it is the only time of year where I can run the heat and the A/C in the house all in the same day. Back to soup. I love it. It is generally easy to make. It is warm and filling. It is a good way to get lots of nutrition with fewer calories. Just be aware of the sodium in soup. It can be bloating. But, making homemade soup is a good way to keep that in check.

Ok, I think that clears out The Final Fifty portion of my brain. I am gonna get back to work on my other stuff now. Unless I can come up with another reason to put it off for an hour... Or two.

Peace out.